Lanegan began his musical career in 1984 with Screaming Trees, with whom he released seven studio albums and five EPs before their disbandment in 2000. During his time with the band, he also started a solo career and released his first solo studio album, The Winding Sheet, in 1990. He subsequently released a further 10 solo albums, which received critical recognition but only moderate commercial success. Following the end of Screaming Trees, he became a frequent collaborator of Queens of the Stone Age, and was a full-time member between 2001 and 2005 during the Songs for the Deaf and Lullabies to Paralyze eras.
Lanegan collaborated with various artists throughout his career. In the 1990s, he and Kurt Cobain recorded an album of Lead Belly covers that was ultimately never released. He also joined Layne Staley and Mike McCready in the band Mad Season, and formed the alternative rock group The Gutter Twins with Greg Dulli in 2003, as well as contributing to releases by Moby, Bomb the Bass, Soulsavers, Tinariwen, The Twilight Singers, Manic Street Preachers, and Unkle, among others.
Lanegan struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol throughout his life, but had been sober for over a decade at the time of his death. Encouraged by his friend Anthony Bourdain, he released the memoir Sing Backwards and Weep in 2020. He followed this up in 2021 with the memoir Devil in a Coma, which focused on his near-death experience with COVID-19. He and his wife Shelley Brien left the U.S. in 2020 and settled in the Irish town of Killarney, where he died two years later at the age of 57. No cause of death was revealed.
Studio albums
The Winding Sheet (1990)
Whiskey for the Holy Ghost (1994)
Scraps at Midnight (1998)
I'll Take Care of You (1999)
Field Songs (2001)
Bubblegum (2004)
Blues Funeral (2012)
Imitations (2013)
Phantom Radio (2014)
Gargoyle (2017)
Somebody's Knocking (2019)
Straight Songs of Sorrow (2020)
I Wouldn't Want To Say
Mark Lanegan Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
So I'm not saying anything
You say you'll fall, I'll fall lower
A love letter was what I meant
A bullet to the heart was sent
The way my body lay here bent
In the freezing exposure and frozen to colder
I wouldn't want to say
No, I wouldn't want to say
Get out while you can
Get out while you can
I will bring bad luck and misery to you, man
I'll paint this shadow across your land
While putting something graveyard dark
Straight into your hand
I wouldn't want to say
I wouldn't want to say
My heart is black as night
Black as night
Black as night
This barrel bomb in my brain ignites
A self-aimed incendiary device
Suddenly everything I ever had is on ice
All those who tried to help me scattered like mice
No, I wouldn't want to say
I wouldn't want to say
Who knows how many more years there will be
Before the end of this sad machine
No heirs to my disease
No one else to curse with this gene
Someone said it's designed for survival
The one I wildly ride
Swinging from death
From death to revival
Where I've been and what I've done
No, I wouldn't want to say
I wouldn't want to say
The implication I am guilty
Yet suffocation cannot kill me
There is this ladder I am climbing
In the darkness you can't find me
I wouldn't want to say
No, I wouldn't want to say
When I was young and untrue as could be
I begged like a child, come back to me
Come back to me, come back to me, come back
Baby, won't you please come back
No, no they ain't coming back
They got away however they could
Like snow melting in spring
Disappearing for good
Rapture or apocalypse
Actress or receptionist
Sanctified or crucified
I have always welcomed it
Yeah, I have always asked for it
I knew, I knew I had it coming
It's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
It's alright
I'm still hoping
I'm still open
Still open all night
Looking for that love that's right
What I loved, what I loved
What I loved, it's gone away
But I loved you
And I always loved you
How I loved you
I wouldn't want to say
No, I wouldn't want to say
I wouldn't, I wouldn't to say
I wouldn't to say
It's alright, it's alright
It's alright, it's alright
It's alright
I wouldn't want to say
The lyrics of "I Wouldn't Want To Say" by Mark Lanegan seem to be about a person who is struggling with addiction and has caused harm to those around them. The singer seems to be in denial about their own actions and is hesitant to take responsibility for the pain they have caused. The first verse describes the aftermath of a suicide attempt, with the singer implying that they had intended to write a love letter but ended up causing harm instead. The chorus warns a friend to leave before the singer's bad luck and misery can befall them, with the singer admitting that their heart is "black as night" and they have become a danger to themselves and others.
The second verse describes the singer's descent into darkness, with their addiction taking control of their life and destroying their relationships. The lyrics imply that the singer's loved ones have given up on them, and they are left alone with their destructive tendencies. The third verse seems to allude to the inevitability of death and the singer's acceptance of their own fate. They seem to be searching for love and redemption but are unable to escape the cycle of addiction and self-destruction.
Line by Line Meaning
I wouldn't want to say my friend
I choose to remain silent instead of saying anything to you, my friend.
You say you'll fall, I'll fall lower
If you fall, I will fall even lower than you.
A love letter was what I meant, A bullet to the heart was sent
I intended to express my love, but it ended up hurting you deeply like a gunshot wound to the heart.
The way my body lay here bent In the freezing exposure and frozen to colder
My body is twisted and contorted in this cold, frozen wasteland where I am exposed and vulnerable to the elements.
Get out while you can
Leave now before I bring bad luck and misery into your life.
I'll paint this shadow across your land, While putting something graveyard dark Straight into your hand
I will bring darkness and death into your life, giving you something that is cursed and destructive.
My heart is black as night, Black as night, Black as night
My heart is filled with darkness and despair, it is pitch black and devoid of any light.
This barrel bomb in my brain ignites
My mind is a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode and destroy everything.
Suddenly everything I ever had is on ice
Everything I had in my life is now frozen and stalled, stuck in a state of no progress or change.
No, I wouldn't want to say
I choose not to speak about this anymore.
Who knows how many more years there will be, Before the end of this sad machine
No one knows how much more time we have before things come to a tragic end.
No heirs to my disease, No one else to curse with this gene
I am the only one carrying this genetic curse, there is no one left to inherit it from me.
There is this ladder I am climbing, In the darkness you can't find me
I am climbing higher and higher towards something unknown, and nobody can see me in the dark.
When I was young and untrue as could be, I begged like a child, come back to me
In my youth, I was dishonest and unfaithful, and I begged for someone to come back to me like a desperate child.
Disappearing for good
They disappeared forever, never to return again.
I have always welcomed it, Yeah, I have always asked for it
I have always been willing to accept the consequences of my actions, even if they are harsh and painful.
It's alright, it's alright, I'm still hoping, I'm still open, Still open all night, Looking for that love that's right
Despite everything, it's going to be okay, and I am still searching for the right kind of love.
What I loved, what I loved, What I loved, it's gone away, But I loved you
The things that I loved are all gone now, but I still loved you.
And I always loved you, How I loved you
I've always loved you, and I still do.
I wouldn't want to say
I am not willing to speak about this anymore.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind