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The Final Rip Off
Monty Python Lyrics


Argument I'd like to have an argument, please. Certainly, sir. Have y…
Australian Table Wine Good evening! For the first time, on record A 29 part…
Bells Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop. Wife: Oh, it's…
Bookshop Good morning (Good morning, sir can I help you?) Uh, yes do…
Bruces' Song Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable …
Cannibalism Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is…
Cheese Shop Good Morning Morning, sir Welcome to the National Cheese Emp…
Cocktail Bar John: ...except for a half sister, who was obsessed with…
Constitutional Peasant Arthur: Old woman! Dennis: MAN! Arthur: Old man, sorry. What…
Crocodile And right now, it's time for athletics And over to Brian…
Do What John Do what John? Come again do what? Do what John? Do what John…
Eric The Half A Bee A one, two A one, two, three, four Half a bee, philosophica…
Finland Finland , Finland , Finland The country where I want to…
Fish Licence Praline: (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to…
Four Yorkshiremen Monty Python's Flying Circus - "Four Yorkshiremen" [ fro…
French Taunter And now i want to turn you to Sumeria,...787 (music begin…
Henry Kissinger Henry Kissinger How I'm missing yer You're the Doctor of my …
I Bet You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio I bet you they won't play this song on the…
I Like Chinese The world today seems absolutely crackers With nuclear bombs…
I'm So Worried I'm so worried about what's happening today, In the Middle E…
Nudge Nudge Man: 'Evening, squire! Squire: (stiffly) Good evening. Man: …
Parrot (Oh, Not Again) Praline: (John) I wish to register a complaint. 'Ello, Miss?…
Rock Notes Newscaster: Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toa…
Sit On My Face Sit on my face and tell me that you love…
Spam Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam! Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam Sp…
Spanish Inquisition Part 1 Yeah, on I need a, I want a I need a girl…
Spanish Inquisition Revisited Chapman: Trouble at mill Cleveland: Oh no - what kind of…
String Wapcaplet: Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welco…
Swamp Castle Linkman: Oh, err, and Sheila has just.eh... come back now…
Traffic Lights I Like traffic lights. I Like traffic lights. I Like traffic…
Undertaker Man: Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's? Undertaker: Yu…


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