Alex Pauken
His name is Alex Pauken. Alex Pauken is an enigma. Alex Pauken is the all-k… Read Full Bio ↴His name is Alex Pauken. Alex Pauken is an enigma. Alex Pauken is the all-knowing. He is a creature of infinite wisdom and undying compassion for everything he does, and nothing that anybody else does.
Alex Pauken likes to make music. Here is a comprehensive list of the musical projects Alex Pauken has graced with his overwhelmingly startling but gentle presence.
* EARSS
* ARS
* Jello 4 Seniors
* Blowup Franklin
* Severe Malice
* Pine Forest Playaz
* SNUA
* Sykosis
* MC Sykosis
* Alex Pauken solo instrumentals
* The Ceiling Mice
* BALLS DEEP!
* Begotten Enterprise Productions
Alex Pauken likes to take pictures of things. He is not a professional photographer, nor does the city of Maumee have anything interesting to take pictures of. However, Alex Pauken does have 12 MegaPixels. How many MegaPixels do you have? Probably not that many, but it's ok... because you are a simp, and Alex Pauken is not.
Alex Pauken likes to write words. Everytime he presses keys on a QWERTY keyboard, or touches a pen to paper, the result is simply magical. People come from miles around to witness the magnificence. Each word is written with such eloquence that it shakes the very innards of the depths of your soul. Sould-depth innards exist. Look it up if you don't believe it.
Alex Pauken does not have low self-esteem. He has no reason to, because everything he does is incredible and everyone loves him for it. Nobody has ever hated Alex Pauken and kept their spine. This is because he rips it out if you don't approve of him. For this reason, Alex Pauken would appreciate if you would approve of him.
Alex Pauken likes to make videos. He has many ideas for Hollywood masterpieces, but Hollywood does not seem to be interested. They will change their tune when Alex Pauken sends a script laced with pictures of his naked body.
Alex Pauken's naked body is very pale, and staring directly into it will either cause blindness, skin cancer, or a rare form of hypnosis. If the latter occurs, just do whatever Alex Pauken tells you. You'll be okay... maybe.
Alex Pauken has an amazing web presence because of all the incredible things he does on the web. He raps, he plays music, he writes, he posts pictures, he makes videos, he blogs, he has websites, he has Facebook and Twitter, etc.
If you decide that Alex Pauken may not be for you, look forward to death by gasoline fire.
Alex Pauken likes to make music. Here is a comprehensive list of the musical projects Alex Pauken has graced with his overwhelmingly startling but gentle presence.
* EARSS
* ARS
* Jello 4 Seniors
* Blowup Franklin
* Severe Malice
* Pine Forest Playaz
* SNUA
* Sykosis
* MC Sykosis
* Alex Pauken solo instrumentals
* The Ceiling Mice
* BALLS DEEP!
* Begotten Enterprise Productions
Alex Pauken likes to take pictures of things. He is not a professional photographer, nor does the city of Maumee have anything interesting to take pictures of. However, Alex Pauken does have 12 MegaPixels. How many MegaPixels do you have? Probably not that many, but it's ok... because you are a simp, and Alex Pauken is not.
Alex Pauken likes to write words. Everytime he presses keys on a QWERTY keyboard, or touches a pen to paper, the result is simply magical. People come from miles around to witness the magnificence. Each word is written with such eloquence that it shakes the very innards of the depths of your soul. Sould-depth innards exist. Look it up if you don't believe it.
Alex Pauken does not have low self-esteem. He has no reason to, because everything he does is incredible and everyone loves him for it. Nobody has ever hated Alex Pauken and kept their spine. This is because he rips it out if you don't approve of him. For this reason, Alex Pauken would appreciate if you would approve of him.
Alex Pauken likes to make videos. He has many ideas for Hollywood masterpieces, but Hollywood does not seem to be interested. They will change their tune when Alex Pauken sends a script laced with pictures of his naked body.
Alex Pauken's naked body is very pale, and staring directly into it will either cause blindness, skin cancer, or a rare form of hypnosis. If the latter occurs, just do whatever Alex Pauken tells you. You'll be okay... maybe.
Alex Pauken has an amazing web presence because of all the incredible things he does on the web. He raps, he plays music, he writes, he posts pictures, he makes videos, he blogs, he has websites, he has Facebook and Twitter, etc.
If you decide that Alex Pauken may not be for you, look forward to death by gasoline fire.
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Alex Pauken Lyrics
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