Adrian Hates was originally a classically trained guitarist and pianist, and subsequently bassist of Garden of Delight. He initiated the Diary of Dreams project in the late 1980s, taking the name from one of his early classical guitar compositions, 'Tagebuch der Träume'. The first album, 'Cholymelan', appeared in 1994 on the Dion Fortune label.
Encouraged by this success, Adrian formed his own label Accession and released a string of albums over the following years, building a loyal fanbase each step of the way. The second album 'End of Flowers' was released in 1996, expanding on the darkwave sound of the debut. 'Bird Without Wings' followed a year later, whilst the more experimental work 'Psychoma?' arrived in 1998.
The first sign of consolidation came in 1999, when a compilation album 'Moments of Bloom' appeared, containing two reworked tracks from each album. The next two albums 'One of 18 Angels' and 'Freak Perfume' (plus its companion EP 'PaniK Manifesto') made greater use of electronic rhythms, resulting in greater club play and wider recognition for the band.
Their 2004 'Nigredo' (a concept album inspired by a mythology the band designed themselves) saw a move back towards the more subtle, sparse concepts of old, but still featuring bursts of their more recent, dance-oriented sound. Songs from the Nigredo tour were later released on the live CD 'aLive' and the companion DVD 'Nine In Numbers'. The next Diary of Dreams album 'Nekrolog 43' was released in 2007, offering a greater variety of moods and concepts than previous works. Adrian Hates claims to be influenced, both lyric wise and artwork wise, by the German 1909-1935 expressionism and the "beauty of ugliness" in the course of his work.
The ninth album entitled "(if)" was released on March 13, 2009.
Discography
Albums
* Cholymelan (1994) – re-released in 1999 with four bonus tracks
* End of Flowers (1996)
* Bird Without Wings (1997)
* Psychoma (1998)
* Moments of Bloom (1999)
* One of 18 Angels (2000)
* Freak perfume (2002)
* Dream Collector (2003) (originally a limited South African compilation - later given wider release)
* Nigredo (2004)
* Alive (2005) – live album
* Nekrolog 43 (2007)
* (if) (2009)
* Ego:X (2011)
* Dream Collector II (2012)
* the Anatomy of Silence (2012) - acoustic album
* Elegies in Darkness (2014)
* Grau im Licht (2015)
* reLive (2016)
* hell in Eden (2017)
Singles and EPs
* O' Brother Sleep (2001)
* AmoK (2002)
* PaniK Manifesto (2002) – EP/mini-album
* Giftraum (2004)
* Menschfeind (2005) – EP/mini-album
* The Plague (2007)
* King of Nowhere (2009)
DVDs
* Nine in Numbers (2006)
She and Her Darkness
Diary of Dreams Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
An army's feet pounding on my head
Maybe I'll wake up one day to notice
That all my life was just a dream
And maybe I'll be better off without you
You left me here with all my thoughts
I'd write a zillion words or walk a million miles
I'd sleep on broken glass just not to lose your smiles
I travel for you around the world
Collecting moments, oh how absurd
To bring you beauty, to bring you joy
I wish I'd be a little boy
Where is that silence you primised me?
Why is that distance so close to me?
Why is your violence still hurting me?
Why are your eyes avoiding me?
Let me say thank you for all that you have given me
Thank you for everything you've done
Forgive me for saying one last thing
I miss you and I hope you hear this song
I travel for you around the world
Collecting moments, o how absurd
To bring you beauty, to bring you joy
I wish I'd be a little boy
I'm dying for you, can't you see?
I'm lying for you to be free
I hunger for you, 'cause I can't eat
I'd vanish for you in defeat
The lyrics of Diary of Dreams's song She express the journey of a person who is experiencing heartbreak and longing for their lost love. The heavy feeling of sadness and pain is compared to an army's feet pounding on their head, weighing their heart down, making it feel like it weighs minimum of a tone. They question whether everything they have experienced was just a dream and fantasize about waking up to a reality where they are free from the pain of heartbreak.
The singer realizes they would be better off without the person who left them with the burden of their thoughts, memories, and feelings. They express their willingness to do anything to keep their smiles, even if it means enduring pain and suffering. The singer travels around the world, collecting moments and beauty, hoping to bring joy to their beloved. They yearn for a simpler time when they were young and everything was less complicated.
The questions in the lyrics reflect the confusion and frustration of the singer about their situation. They are searching for silence promised to them, but cannot find it. The distance between the two is still close, but the love has turned violent, hurting them. They try to reach out to their beloved, but their eyes avoid them.
Overall, the lyrics of She capture the painful journey of heartbreak and longing for a lost love, and the willingness to do anything to keep that love alive.
Line by Line Meaning
My heart weights minimum a tone
My heart feels heavy and burdened
An army's feet pounding on my head
I feel overwhelmed and under attack
Maybe I'll wake up one day to notice
That all my life was just a dream
I sometimes wonder if my life is real or just a figment of my imagination
And maybe I'll be better off without you
You left me here with all my thoughts
I consider if my life would have been easier without you in it
I'd write a zillion words or walk a million miles
I'd sleep on broken glass just not to lose your smiles
I would go to great lengths to keep you in my life and avoid losing your affection
I travel for you around the world
Collecting moments, oh how absurd
To bring you beauty, to bring you joy
I wish I'd be a little boy
I search the world for things that will make you happy and wonder if I could have done more
Where is that silence you primised me?
Why is that distance so close to me?
Why is your violence still hurting me?
Why are your eyes avoiding me?
I am confused and hurt by your behavior towards me, and feel like you have broken your promises
Let me say thank you for all that you have given me
Thank you for everything you've done
Forgive me for saying one last thing
I miss you and I hope you hear this song
I want to express gratitude for what you have brought into my life, apologize for any negativity, and express my longing for you
I'm dying for you, can't you see?
I'm lying for you to be free
I hunger for you, 'cause I can't eat
I'd vanish for you in defeat
I have a strong desire for you and it hurts me that I can't have you, to the point of being willing to sacrifice myself for you
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: ADRIAN HATES
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind