Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Edwards Sanders Johnny Depp Helena Bonham Carter Lyrics

Toby: Ladies and gentlemen!
May I have your attention, perlease?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?

Well, ladies and gentlemen
From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again have a worry or care
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare

Gentlemen, you are about to see
Something wot rose from the dead--
On the top of my head!

T′was Pirelli's
Miracle Elixir
That′s wot did the trick, sir
True, sir, true

Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!

How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed

Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir
'Tis unique

Rub a minute--
Stimulatin′ i′n' it?
Soon you′ll have to thin it
Once a week!

Sweeney Todd: Pardon me, ma'am, what′s that awful stench?

Mrs. Lovett: Are we standing near an open trench?

Mrs. Lovett: Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench?

Sweeney Todd: Must be standing near an open trench!

Toby: Buy Pirelli′s
Miracle Elixir
Anything wot's slick, sir
Soon sprouts curls

Try Pirelli's!
When they see how thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir
Of the girls!

Wanna buy a bottle, missus?

Sweeney Todd: What is this?

Mrs. Lovett: What is this?

Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss

Mrs. Lovett: Smells like-- phew!

Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss

Mrs. Lovett: Wouldn′t touch it if I was you, dear

Sweeney Todd: This is piss
Piss with ink

Toby: Let Pirelli′s
Miracle Elixir
Activate your roots, sir--

Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir--
Eats right through

Toby: Yes, get Pirelli's!
Use a bottle of it!
Ladies seem to love it--

Mrs. Lovett: Flies do, too!

Writer(s): Stephen Sondheim

Contributed by Dominic R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.