The blood is thick, thicker than my thoughts are quick
My family ties and connections run deep, more so than my ability to think on my feet

Quicker than these thoughts turn sick, sick, sicker than my temperature rising
Negative thoughts overwhelm me in a flash, faster than my body reacting to a fever

Sicker than the whites of their eyes despising me and all my lovers that I cant disguise
The hatred and judgement from others is intense and affects both myself and those I love

And I'll never know why
I can't fully comprehend the reasons for the negativity directed towards me

The air is clear, clearer that the taste of tears
Despite my struggles and emotions, the atmosphere around me can seem peaceful and uncomplicated

Clearer than me smell of fear and I'm fearful for a long cold year with you
My apprehension about being with someone is overpowering and makes me dread what's to come

Don't you know what you do?
The actions of others have a profound and hurtful impact on me

You give me the horrors and I give you the goo that oozes
Emotional pain and damage is exchanged between myself and the person causing it

Separate the scabs from the bruises
Sorting through the aftermath and picking apart the damage done is a difficult and uncomfortable process

I turn my thoughts off and on, off and on, off and on...
Coping and dealing with my emotions is an ongoing battle that I wish would end

I'm out of breath, offers me a taste of death
Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted pushes me to the brink of despair and death seems like a better alternative

Equally the taste of life and I freeze to feel it
The emotions and experiences of life, both good and bad, can be overwhelming and I sometimes shut down to cope

I prayed to my god and I prayed to yours Jesus, oh yes
I reach out to a higher power, hoping for guidance and strength in dealing with my struggles, no matter the religion or belief system

I prayed and I pleaded that I'd never go back
I beg for a way out of my current struggles and negative experiences, hoping to never return to that place

But I'm always goin' back
Despite my efforts to leave behind the negativity, I find myself falling back into old patterns and situations

Coz the touch is sweet, sweeter than he touches me
The physical affection and attention from someone can be intoxicating and difficult to resist, even when it's damaging

Sweeter when that touch repeats, repeats
The allure of repeated affection and attention makes it harder to break away from someone even if it's harmful

Please believe my heart spills its guts every time that you leave
The pain and sadness I feel when someone leaves me is all-consuming and overwhelming to the point of physical symptoms

He's gonna teach me how to live
Desperately seeking guidance and direction from someone else to navigate the difficulties of life