Half Man Half Biscuit
Half Man Half Biscuit, often abbreviated to "HMHB", are an indie rock band … Read Full Bio ↴Half Man Half Biscuit, often abbreviated to "HMHB", are an indie rock band from Birkenhead, England, active sporadically since the 1984, known for its satirical, sardonic, and sometimes surreal songs. The group consists of Nigel Blackwell (lead vocals, guitar), Neil Crossley (bass), Ken Hancock (lead guitar), and Carl Henry (drums). Throughout their career they have been signed to Probe Plus records.
The band's first single, The Trumpton Riots, topped the British Independent Chart in 1986, and they went on to perform a set at the Glastonbury Festival, rapidly becoming tipped as the 'next big thing'. Their sound at the time was very much in the post-punk tradition, with similarities to Josef K or The Fall. After the first record, someone in the band learnt to tune a guitar, which some feel removed something of the particular character of the music. So, as their second single "Dickie Davies Eyes" entered the national top 40, lead singer Nigel Blackwell announced his retirement claiming that rock and roll success had led to him missing too much daytime television. 1986 saw the release of a compilation album and Nigel's return to the dole.
The band reformed in 1990, beginning to tour and give interviews. Their third album, McIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt, showed a move forwards in terms of musical technique, and a wider musical palette. Since then, the band have produced a new album every two or three years, and remain a much loved fixture on the British music scene.
Half Man Half Biscuit were long championed by DJ John Peel, for whom they recorded twelve sessions before Peel's death in 2004, and it was on his programme in 1990 that the band announced their return.
The band played live more and more infrequently, preferring one-off gigs to tours, driving home each night to sleep in their own beds and arranging concerts to coincide with Tranmere Rovers' away fixtures, a football team supported by Neil and Nigel. Half Man Half Biscuit famously turned down the chance to appear on seminal 80s rock show The Tube, as Tranmere were playing that night, even though Channel Four offered to fly them by helicopter to the game following their take in the studio.
The band's musical styles often parody popular genres, while their lyrics are dense with cultural allusions, usually to UK popular culture and geography (Blackwell often refers to North Wales, often in the context of hillwalking in Snowdonia; he also appears fond of Shropshire, East Anglia and Oxfordshire) or to the more obscure backwaters of the lower divisions of British or international football. Blackwell's enthusiasm does not only encompass popular culture; to give just a few examples, explicit references to Sylvia Plath, the works of Thomas Hardy, and the Bible are all to be found in his lyrics. In the context of HMHB's enthusiasm for football, Blackwell's close resemblance to footballer Jaap Stam has been frequently commented upon.
As the nineties progressed Nigel's love of blues and folk became more and more apparent both in musical style and lyrical references, as befits a group who perhaps more than any other record the minutiae of everyday life and culture. In 2002 Andy Kershaw dubbed them "the most authentic English folk group since the Clash". Bassist Crossley's musical tastes include many late-70s/early-80s new wave or post-punk bands, and at gigs HMHB have been heard to perform covers of tracks by acts as diverse as Joy Division, Tim Buckley, The Beach Boys and Tiffany.
Blackwell has also started making references to various fictional bands who appear not only on the sleeves of HMHB releases (for example "Joe Public And The General Consensus") but also in the songs -- a long essay on "Evil Gazebo" (and that band's relationship to "Pankhurst") appears on the liner notes of Trouble Over Bridgwater and both bands are mentioned in the songs. Assorted fake cover version acts have also been mentioned in HMHB songs such as "I Can't Believe It's Not Focus". In interviews Nigel has alluded to the possibility of there being an HMHB tribute band called "It Ain't Half Man, Mum", most recently in a BBC Radio 3 interview with Andy Kershaw prior to summer 2007's appearance at the Brampton Live folk festival, where they headlined on Saturday night. However as yet no one has come forward with any evidence to support the existence of said tribute act, and the likelihood is that the whole thing is one of Nigel's own creations to amuse or confuse journalists and fans. The tribute band Half Arsed Half Biscuit do exist.
In 2001, Nigel Blackwell provided the voice over for a BP television advert.
The band's first release since 2005's album Achtung Bono is titled CSI:Ambleside, and was released on April 28, 2008.
In April 2010, the band's 2005 song "Joy Division Oven Gloves" from Achtung Bono was the subject of a Facebook campaign to get it to #6 on the chart for 12 April 2010, in response to the rumoured closure of indie station BBC 6 Music. The song only peaked at #56 on 11 April 2010, but this was the first UK Top 75 chart appearance for the band in their history. It also reached No.3 in the Official Independent Singles chart the same week and was No.1 in the HMV UK Digital Downloads Top 40 Tracks on Friday 16 April, knocking Ultravox's Vienna off the top - itself part of a separate Facebook campaign the previous week.
Lyrics are steadily being transcribed and argued over at The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project.
The band's first single, The Trumpton Riots, topped the British Independent Chart in 1986, and they went on to perform a set at the Glastonbury Festival, rapidly becoming tipped as the 'next big thing'. Their sound at the time was very much in the post-punk tradition, with similarities to Josef K or The Fall. After the first record, someone in the band learnt to tune a guitar, which some feel removed something of the particular character of the music. So, as their second single "Dickie Davies Eyes" entered the national top 40, lead singer Nigel Blackwell announced his retirement claiming that rock and roll success had led to him missing too much daytime television. 1986 saw the release of a compilation album and Nigel's return to the dole.
The band reformed in 1990, beginning to tour and give interviews. Their third album, McIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt, showed a move forwards in terms of musical technique, and a wider musical palette. Since then, the band have produced a new album every two or three years, and remain a much loved fixture on the British music scene.
Half Man Half Biscuit were long championed by DJ John Peel, for whom they recorded twelve sessions before Peel's death in 2004, and it was on his programme in 1990 that the band announced their return.
The band played live more and more infrequently, preferring one-off gigs to tours, driving home each night to sleep in their own beds and arranging concerts to coincide with Tranmere Rovers' away fixtures, a football team supported by Neil and Nigel. Half Man Half Biscuit famously turned down the chance to appear on seminal 80s rock show The Tube, as Tranmere were playing that night, even though Channel Four offered to fly them by helicopter to the game following their take in the studio.
The band's musical styles often parody popular genres, while their lyrics are dense with cultural allusions, usually to UK popular culture and geography (Blackwell often refers to North Wales, often in the context of hillwalking in Snowdonia; he also appears fond of Shropshire, East Anglia and Oxfordshire) or to the more obscure backwaters of the lower divisions of British or international football. Blackwell's enthusiasm does not only encompass popular culture; to give just a few examples, explicit references to Sylvia Plath, the works of Thomas Hardy, and the Bible are all to be found in his lyrics. In the context of HMHB's enthusiasm for football, Blackwell's close resemblance to footballer Jaap Stam has been frequently commented upon.
As the nineties progressed Nigel's love of blues and folk became more and more apparent both in musical style and lyrical references, as befits a group who perhaps more than any other record the minutiae of everyday life and culture. In 2002 Andy Kershaw dubbed them "the most authentic English folk group since the Clash". Bassist Crossley's musical tastes include many late-70s/early-80s new wave or post-punk bands, and at gigs HMHB have been heard to perform covers of tracks by acts as diverse as Joy Division, Tim Buckley, The Beach Boys and Tiffany.
Blackwell has also started making references to various fictional bands who appear not only on the sleeves of HMHB releases (for example "Joe Public And The General Consensus") but also in the songs -- a long essay on "Evil Gazebo" (and that band's relationship to "Pankhurst") appears on the liner notes of Trouble Over Bridgwater and both bands are mentioned in the songs. Assorted fake cover version acts have also been mentioned in HMHB songs such as "I Can't Believe It's Not Focus". In interviews Nigel has alluded to the possibility of there being an HMHB tribute band called "It Ain't Half Man, Mum", most recently in a BBC Radio 3 interview with Andy Kershaw prior to summer 2007's appearance at the Brampton Live folk festival, where they headlined on Saturday night. However as yet no one has come forward with any evidence to support the existence of said tribute act, and the likelihood is that the whole thing is one of Nigel's own creations to amuse or confuse journalists and fans. The tribute band Half Arsed Half Biscuit do exist.
In 2001, Nigel Blackwell provided the voice over for a BP television advert.
The band's first release since 2005's album Achtung Bono is titled CSI:Ambleside, and was released on April 28, 2008.
In April 2010, the band's 2005 song "Joy Division Oven Gloves" from Achtung Bono was the subject of a Facebook campaign to get it to #6 on the chart for 12 April 2010, in response to the rumoured closure of indie station BBC 6 Music. The song only peaked at #56 on 11 April 2010, but this was the first UK Top 75 chart appearance for the band in their history. It also reached No.3 in the Official Independent Singles chart the same week and was No.1 in the HMV UK Digital Downloads Top 40 Tracks on Friday 16 April, knocking Ultravox's Vienna off the top - itself part of a separate Facebook campaign the previous week.
Lyrics are steadily being transcribed and argued over at The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project.
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Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics
13 Eurogoths Floating In The Dead Sea 13 Eurogoths 13 Eurogoths 13 Eurogoths floating in the Dea…
1966 and All That we sat and decided as the seaons collided that our love…
27 Yards Of Dental Floss Well, I told her that I thought life's too short And…
4AD3DCD I dream of occasional fanzine mentions I've been to one too…
99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd Jesus Christ come on down! If you ever wondered how You ge…
A Country Practice I feel like a beggar accepting alms Then being pelted wit…
A Lilac Harry Quinn In this sumptuous hacienda, Where I weigh things up as they…
A Shropshire Lad Second greatest time I had Was when they asked me and…
Albert Hammond Bootleg Dragging my guitar round maternity ward I was in search of…
All I Want For Chrismas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit There was one in the gang who had scalectrix and because of…
All I Want for Christmas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit There was one in the gang who had Scalextric And because…
Architecture and Morality Ted and Alice The wonderful dexterity of Hannu Mikkula Makes me want to s…
Arthur's Farm Arthur Askee and Dougie Wougie Bader Went down to the Animal…
Arthur's Farm / All I Want for Christmas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit There was one in the gang who had scalectrix and because of…
Asparagus Next Left We've just been performing a guerrilla gig In the middle of…
Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess Checkmate Dennis Bell of Torquay Too late With your N at …
Bad Review Re: Our gig at Deptford Abyss Who the hell does Jeff…
Ballad Of Climie Fisher Now here comes a story that's never been told About the…
Blood On The Quad They looked at my postcode They asked me to speak It was…
Blue Badge Abuser A dirty rounder, a no-good fraud A ne’er-do-well of the hig…
Bogus Official I'm the man that you need on the day that…
Bottleneck At Capel Curig Didn’t see the summer sun Didn’t speak to anyone The carav…
Breaking News We're just receiving reports of an incident at a farm…
C.A.M.R.A. Man Anything under five percent I don’t want to drink it Ugly…
Carry on Cremating We're hardly the fruit from a well-tended banana tree We're…
Children of Apocalyptic Techstep I’d like to flush the demons from out of her…
Christian Rock Concert And at the post fest lig I saw Ten thousand people…
Corgi Registered Friends In the kingdom of the blind It's said the one-eyed man…
D'Y' Ken Ted Moult? Our Ted it has to be said produces proof beyond us rain,…
D'Ye Ken Ted Moult Our Ted it has to be said produces proof beyond us rain,…
Dead Men Don't Need Season Tickets Telephone call Telling me My old friend Graham had died I…
Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal Said the public sector leader At the pre-launch breakfast b…
Depressed Beyond Tablets I walk caverns and abysmals That I hope you never dream…
Dickie Davies Eyes Mention the Lord of the Rings just once more, And I'll…
Dickie Davis Eyes Mention the Lord of the Rings Just once more And I'll more…
Doreen In the room with the sloping roof In your director's chair …
Ecclesiastical Perks In pulpits In pulpits They can preach naked from the waist…
Emerging From Gorse Well, it must have been about half past two in…
Eno Collaboration Number one in Britain and successful in the States So round…
Even Men With Steel Hearts Hey Louis… Wonderful world, terrible song Everything’s g…
Excavating Rita When I need you You’re only ever twenty-eight away With a …
Faithlift Trying to iron out your problems without Jesus Is only goin…
Fear My Wraith Vespers done, I glide out To where the cool and shade…
Floreat Inertia I could be tugging on the beard of science Like a…
Footprints Ethereal requiem mausoleum …Bert Royal Harlequin tourniquet…
For What Is Chatteris One way system, smooth and commendable, Go by bus, they're h…
For What Is Chatteris... One way system – smooth and commendable Go by bus –…
Four Skinny Indie Kids Bleak cheap interview Pool cue fancy pants Chic Bates apri…
Fretwork Homework We’re into the final of The Battle Of The Bands And…
Friday Night And The Gates Are Low When I had my loft Converted back into a loft The neighbou…
Fuckin' 'Ell It's Fred Titmus Oh I was walking round my local store I was searching…
Get Kramer We've got Kramer coming over To produce us So that we can…
Give Us Bubblewrap Assorted nautical jigsaws Horticultural slideshows Another…
God Gave Us Life What did god give us Neil? God gave us life Nigel. Sure…
Gubba Look-a-Likes They come from underneath the stairs Into my room but no-on…
Hair Like Brian May Blues I woke up about eleven with hair like Brian May I…
He Who Would Valium Take The car that parked on the pavement narked Pedestrians and …
Hedley Verityesque Found a nice little cove Where nobody else goes Took a tri…
I Hate Nerys Hughes Saint Vitus came to my town And visited the cemetery. The de…
I Left My Heart in Papworth General Precious McKenzie, boy I remember you well With a gob full…
I Love You Because My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount What am I supposed to…
I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan Woke up this morning, found myself in bed My knowledge of…
I Went To A Wedding... went to a wedding Though only the night time I didn’t know…
If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day Outside Goldsmith's coughing up blood, Turner Prize judge g…
Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite Tower block, you couldn't score in a tower block Do you…
Irk the Purists Give me Love, give me Can, give me Meatloaf Give me…
It Makes The Room Look Bigger I've just finished decorating It was very irritating And I…
It's Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas Now how did I guess You were going to express Your disdain…
ITMA So I’m lost in the fog But I feel like a…
Jarg Armani Sleet may keep the meek indoors Sore feet obstruct them fro…
Joy Division Oven Gloves Well this dish is too hot You’ll never guess what I’ve got…
Joy in Leeuwarden Can you hear the bells-a-ringing, Alice van der Meer? Are yo…
Keeping Two Chevrons Apart Well I'm not really worried about this, But can some one…
King Of Hi-Vis All tickets sold, I head for the wardrobe St John or…
Lark Descending My hands are stained with thistle milk And I can see…
Lets Not Me and my motor neurone We just want to be on…
Letters Sent Keeper you’ve just made a decent save So why d’you feel…
Little In The Way Of Sunshine I know the drivers by their first names It’s said they’ve…
Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves There is …
Look Dad No Tunes My life is comfortable But I don't want that image for…
Lord Hereford's Knob As I camped out one evening to take the midnight…
M-6-ster M-A-U-G-E-R Ivan Mauger robbed my car Christian Salvesen, R…
Malayan Jelutong I have no Shire Horse To pull my narrowboat I'll go and…
Mate of the Bloke Beware of the man who only shows you the best…
Mathematically Safe May morning, hanging round a trapdoor Saw a girl like I’ve…
Monmore Hare's Running Dream therapists Is your lucky number seven By any chance?…
Moody Chops Hey there moody chops You've gone and got national acclaim …
Multitude When I wade across the Jordan I’ll be shining For I…
National Shite Day Pulling the ice axe from my leg I staggered on Spindrift s…
New York Skiffle I'm a vendor of quack nostrums born in a Kansas…
Nove On The Sly I'm a hard-jackin' sound-scaping jump-uppin' left-of-centre …
Ode To Joyce Hey Joyce Rock and Roll never gave you a voice It’s never…
On Finding The Studio Banjo Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town It’s sprea…
On Passing Lilac Urine Certain things have always been and ever more shall be Walk…
On Reaching the Wensum They came from the conference facility Where they’d largely…
On The 'Roids Here comes The Black Horse There goes The Brown Cow Full o…
Our Tune You said you’d found me helpless on the A47 Shouting at…
Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis Tedious people, tiresome town Under the gaze of the mayoral…
Paintball's Coming Home They've got the whole world in their house They've got the…
Paintballs Coming Home They've got the whole world in their house, they've got the…
Petty Sessions I stick me big nose in When I go out Sealed-off car…
Prag Vec at the Melkweg In the town where I was born Lived a man who…
Quality Janitor Get on my funbus, I’ll take you all for a…
Ready Steady Goa Oh Mr. Leary, I feel so dreary I should have stuck…
Reflections In A Flat Oh darling sugar honey When it was nice and sunny And when…
Restless Legs Here she lies in her fleecy gown By my side in…
Rod Hull Is Alive A doyen of Topiary once told me, That one day he…
RSVP On the bleakest day autumn could muster In a church to…
Running Order Squabble Fest Half past four? Half past four? You said half past ten…
Running Order Squabblefest Half past four? Half past four? You said half past ten…
San Antonio Foam Party If I had agoraphobia And if I had claustrophobia Trapped i…
Sealclubbing I was just sitting there eating a salmonella sandwich When …
Secret Gig Psst Sssh Psst Sssh Psst Sssh Sssh They’re gonna be un…
See That My Bike's Kept Clean There’s one last favour I ask of you There’s one last…
Sensitive Outsider In my wretched garret Where I'll die of starvation To be b…
She's In Broadstairs Today I saw her brother Who said she’s with another They’v…
Shit Arm Bad Tattoo I could have put my head in a bucket full…
Soft Verges So I'm walking down the road And heading towards me Is som…
Something's Rotten in the Back of Iceland Well I put the wrong things in the wrong bin…
Song For Europe World, you’re going too fast You must slow down Stop your …
Song Of Encouragement For The Orme Ascent Well, I just cycled in to the Pine floored living room Pis…
Split Single With Happy Lounge Labelmates I lost my Barbour In Twickenham car park Seems I was fazed…
Sponsoring The Moshpits In front of bar staff the bands still play So I…
Stavanger Töestub Fuck Shit Fuck Twat Bastard Fuck Shit Bastard Twat …
Surging Out of Convalescence Darts in soap operas, oh, so wrong, oh so wrong No-one’s…
Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years A mistake has been made It's a fact they can't hide Though…
The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman Well I heard a lovely rumor, That Bette Midler had a…
The Best Things In Life My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man And his wifes a…
The Coroner's Footnote There′s a girl leaving town for the sunshine She's heading o…
The Len Ganley Stance Everybody's doing the Len Ganley Stance Everybody's doing t…
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel She stayed with me until she moved to Notting Hill She…
The Referee's Alphabet The A is for my authority, which many players seem…
The Song of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent Well, I just cycled in to the Pine floored living room Pis…
The Trumpton Riots Ow! Oh! Oh! Oh! {? Unemployments rising In the Chigley end…
Them's The Vagaries You may have to rescue me From limestone quarries frequentl…
Third Track Main Camera Four Minutes I got three from each section on the fixed odds…
This Leaden Pall It's the year 2163 Chester Barnes is risen from the dead A…
Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not I'm gonna grab myself an industry insider mask and blag…
Time Flies By Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb Let it ha…
Tommy Walsh's Eco House Back-to-back Cadfael Ross Kemp on Watership Down Are we livi…
Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be With Jesus I’ve been up to no good I’ve been dissed in the…
Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show So banish me to the furnace I must own though My actions…
Totnes Bickering Fair So much for your journey of self-discovery You had to cut…
Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves Her mother had never really wanted us to go in…
Trumpton Riots Ner ner-ner-ner ner-ner-ner ner Ner ner-ner-ner-ner-ner …
Turn a Blind Eye They came for the palmists, but I wasn’t a palmist…
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off Watch out world, I’m a man at ease Free to do…
Twenty Four Hour Garage People I fancy I'll open a stationer's Stock quaint notepads for w…
Twydale's Lament Indicate then you stupid bastard How was I supposed to know…
Tyrolean Knockabout I've been strolling down my favourite lane And I've been bo…
Uffington Wassail Oh say I’m not the only one to fill with…
Upon Westminster Bridge Same old Hampstead Ken Hom Wok Set Dead Sea bath salts Jo…
Used To Be In Evil Gazebo I’m sitting in my Ladbroke Grove Waiting for the NME They’…
Vatican Broadside The singer out of Slipknot went to rome to see…
Venus In Flares A million housewives every day Pick up a can of beans…
Visitor for Mr. Edmonds Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.…
We Built This Village on a Trad. Arr. Tune And in the scout hut debate still rages on The most…
Westwood Ho!-Massive Letdown Girl of my dreams says she's gonna pick me up…
When The Evening Sun Goes Down I shout all my obscenities from steeples But please don’t l…
Whit Week Malarkey Up in the trees down on the ground High in the…
Whiteness Thy Name Is Meltonian Wait for me in sunny orchards, back of beyond I'm hoping…
With Goth On Our Side Well my name it is Dai Young I'm the King of…
Worried Man Blues It takes a worried man to sing a worried song It…
You're Hard Henry Rollins! Henry Rollins! You're hard. You're hard. B…
£24.99 From Argos I do nothing at all and let my legs go…