I am somewhere in between the silver surfer's dreams
Of Fantastic-4 erotica and doing something mean
Oh will someone please just stop me 'fore I say something obscene
I'm not intending to offend I'm simply trying to set the scene
So there I was just walking down the middle of the street
When in flies Larry Bird and the '86 All Star Team

I said hey Larry man, yes it's been a real long time
He said oh Jonny Baby could you maybe spare a dime?
I said I'm sorry Lar' but I just don't carry that kind of cash

Not since the great depression and that whole stock market crash
He said okay I understand, I've picked up on your clue
And that was that and Larry and the whole team off an flew

So I just kept a walking 2 or 3 feet at a time
Until I found myself a standin' where the sun don't seem to shine
Despite the lack of sunlight the reality was clear
I was currently residing halfway up somebody's rear
I yelled up to the heavens and the heavens yelled right back
A monumental roar that knocked me flat out on my ass

Suddenly I'm sitting in the belly of the beast
The beast and all his brothers are just staring back at me
I feel like saying something, but before I get to speak
I'm upside down and bleeding, cut wide open cheek to cheek
They do the sacrificial dance and feed me to the boar
But I come back resurrected 10 times better than before

Now with one eye split wide open and 5 women on one arm
I tell the beastly brothers that I mean no one no harm
I grab my shoes and jacket and start to walk out the door
But then I realize my trousers feel much lighter than before
It must have been my ego that had blinded me to see
That I'd been bested by the one and only number "33"

Larry Bird really pulled the wool over me, uh huh

Overall Meaning

Jonathan Something's "Outlandish Poetica" tells a bizarre tale that blends elements of surrealism, mythology, and pop culture references. Throughout the song, the singer navigates a dream-like realm where anything can happen, encountering Larry Bird and the '86 All-Star Team, finding himself stuck up someone's rear end, getting sacrificed to a boar, and ultimately realizing that he's been bested by Larry "Legend". The lyrics are full of contradictions and unexpected twists, creating a sense of disorientation and unpredictability.

The imagery of the song seems to play with the idea of the unconscious mind, with the dream-like quality of the situations suggesting that the events are unfolding within the singer's psyche. The reference to the silver surfer and Fantastic-4 erotica invokes the world of comic books, which is often associated with escapism and fantasy. The line "I'm not intending to offend, I'm simply trying to set the scene" could be interpreted as the singer acknowledging that the story he is telling may be strange or off-putting, but that he is doing so in service of a larger artistic vision.

Overall, "Outlandish Poetica" speaks to the power of surrealism to captivate audiences and challenge their preconceptions of reality. By presenting a series of seemingly disconnected images and experiences, Jonathan Something invites the listener to engage with the song on their own terms, filling in the gaps of meaning and finding their own way through his strange and fascinating world.

Line by Line Meaning

I am somewhere in between the silver surfer's dreams
I'm feeling stuck in an in-between place, somewhere between dreams and reality

Of Fantastic-4 erotica and doing something mean
Specifically, I feel like I'm caught somewhere between superhero fantasies and potentially harmful actions

Oh will someone please just stop me 'fore I say something obscene
I'm worried I might say something offensive despite not intending to do so

I'm not intending to offend I'm simply trying to set the scene
I just want to provide context for my situation

So there I was just walking down the middle of the street
I was just minding my own business when something weird happened

When in flies Larry Bird and the '86 All Star Team
Suddenly Larry Bird and some other basketball players (from an All Star team in 1986) show up

I said hey Larry man, yes it's been a real long time
I greet Larry and acknowledge that it's been a while since I've seen him

He said oh Jonny Baby could you maybe spare a dime?
Larry asks if I can lend him some money

I said I'm sorry Lar' but I just don't carry that kind of cash
I explain that I don't have any cash on me

Not since the great depression and that whole stock market crash
I joke that I haven't had any money since the stock market crashed during the Great Depression

He said okay I understand, I've picked up on your clue
Larry seems to get the message and doesn't push the issue

And that was that and Larry and the whole team off an flew
Eventually Larry and the basketball players leave and I continue walking

I was currently residing halfway up somebody's rear
I find myself in a really unpleasant situation - stuck in someone's rear end

Despite the lack of sunlight the reality was clear
It's a dark situation but I am fully aware of it

So I just kept a walking 2 or 3 feet at a time
I try to keep moving despite the difficult circumstances

Until I found myself a standin' where the sun don't seem to shine
I end up in a place that's even darker than before

I yelled up to the heavens and the heavens yelled right back
I express my frustration and receive an overwhelming response

A monumental roar that knocked me flat out on my ass
The response was so loud and forceful that I am knocked down

Suddenly I'm sitting in the belly of the beast
I find myself in an even worse situation, inside of a monster's stomach

The beast and all his brothers are just staring back at me
I am surrounded by the beast and a bunch of other, equally scary creatures

I feel like saying something, but before I get to speak
I try to communicate with the creatures but get interrupted

I'm upside down and bleeding, cut wide open cheek to cheek
Before I know it, I am cut open and hurt

They do the sacrificial dance and feed me to the boar
The creatures perform a disturbing ritual and feed me to a wild animal

But I come back resurrected 10 times better than before
Despite everything, I miraculously come back to life even stronger than before

Now with one eye split wide open and 5 women on one arm
I emerge from the situation with a bad injury but also with some female companions

I tell the beastly brothers that I mean no one no harm
I communicate a peaceful message to the creatures before leaving

I grab my shoes and jacket and start to walk out the door
I leave the scary place, taking only my essential belongings

But then I realize my trousers feel much lighter than before
I express surprise as I realize that my pants are missing something important

It must have been my ego that had blinded me to see
I realize that my own pride might have caused me to lose something valuable

That I'd been bested by the one and only number "33"
I come to the realization that Larry Bird somehow tricked me and took my money

Larry Bird really pulled the wool over me, uh huh
I express my disbelief at how Larry outsmarted me

just now