Larry The Cable Guy, Toddler Mail: We need your help!

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Toddler Mail
by Larry The Cable Guy

Like to think I'm the best there is
At putting myself down
Here's to looking at trading places
With anyone in town
The way you light that cigarette
Smoke never hits your eyes
Wishing I was you
You're the best guy
So good looking and confident
When you're lacking personality
Nothing matters when you back it up
With five beers, a line of speed
Scintillating conversation
I know that I should try
Wishing I was you
You're the best guy
Now I stand in front of you
I hope that I could die
Wishing I was you
You're the best guy
As many friends as there are bodies placed
In your field of view
Does that explain why I'm so incensed
When you do the things you do?
Jealousy's the most destructive
A bitter waste of time
Wishing I was you
You're the best guy
Now I stand in front of you
I hope that I could die
Wishing I was you
You're the best guy
Well, I lost faith in everything
I severed all my ties
Wishing I was you
You're the best guy

Contributed by Sophie E. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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