Mammies!
www.myspace.com/MammiesExperience
Members;
Commodore Capo… Read Full Bio ↴www.myspace.com/MammiesExperience
Members;
Commodore Capote - everything
Vice Admiral Alexander Porpoise - everything
General G-Man - everything
It all started when our overrated adventurer, Mammies!, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling really concerned, Mammies! hit a live hand grenade, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, he realized that his beloved Targuus was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, Cthulhu. Mammies! had known Cthulhu for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Cthulhu was unique. He was charismatic though sometimes a little... stupid. Mammies! called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Cthulhu picked up to a very happy Mammies!. Cthulhu calmly assured him that most South American hissing sloths sigh before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually scandalously panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Mammies!. Why was Cthulhu trying to distract Mammies!? Because he had snuck out from Mammies!'s with the Targuus only three days prior. It was a sassy little Targuus... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Mammies! got back to the subject at hand: his Targuus. Cthulhu panicked. Relunctantly, Cthulhu invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Targuus. Mammies! grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Cthulhu realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Targuus and he had to do it fearlessly. He figured that if Mammies! took the amphibious vehicle, he had take at least three minutes before Mammies! would get there. But if he took the Crocodrillo!? Then Cthulhu would be excessively screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Cthulhu was interrupted by seven stupid Apes that were lured by his Targuus. Cthulhu turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he aggressively reached for his potato and aimlessly grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Crocodrillo! rolling up. It was Mammies!.
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at McDonald's to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Mammies! was out of the Crocodrillo! and went charismatically jaunting toward Cthulhu's front door. Meanwhile inside, Cthulhu was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Targuus into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Cthulhu was concerned but at least the Targuus was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Cthulhu flamboyantly purred. With a inept push, Mammies! opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish flaming idiot in a best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Cthulhu assured him. Mammies! took a seat just perfectly far from where Cthulhu had hidden the Targuus. Cthulhu shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Mammies! was distracted. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, Cthulhu noticed a abrasive look on Mammies!'s face. Mammies! slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Cthulhu felt a stabbing pain in his armpit when Mammies! asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Targuus right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A pestering look started to form on Mammies!'s face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Mammies! nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Cthulhu could react, Mammies! thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Targuus was plainly in view.
Mammies! stared at Cthulhu for what what must've been six hours. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Cthulhu groped explosively in Mammies!'s direction, clearly desperate. Mammies! grabbed the Targuus and bolted for the door. It was locked. Cthulhu let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Mammies!,' he rebuked. Cthulhu always had been a little stupid, so Mammies! knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Cthulhu did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. A few freaknasty minutes later, he gripped his Targuus tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Cthulhu looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Mammies!. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Mammies!. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Cthulhu walked over to the window and looked down. Mammies! was gone.
Just yonder, Mammies! was struggling to make his way through the secret vineyard behind Cthulhu's place. Mammies! had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Apes suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Targuus. One by one they latched on to Mammies!. Already weakened from his injury, Mammies! yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Apes running off with his Targuus.
But then God came down with His charismatic smile and restored Mammies!'s Targuus. Feeling exasperated, God smote the Apes for their injustice. Then He got in His curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala) and jettisoned away with the fortitude of 550,000 disease-carrying chipmunks running from a bloated pack of disease-carrying chipmunks. Mammies! vomited with joy when he saw this. His Targuus was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eleven minutes his favorite TV show, , was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When albino cats meet rusty razor blade'). Mammies! was thrilled. And so, everyone except Cthulhu and a few contraceptive-toting venomous koalas lived blissfully happy, forever after.
Members;
Commodore Capo… Read Full Bio ↴www.myspace.com/MammiesExperience
Members;
Commodore Capote - everything
Vice Admiral Alexander Porpoise - everything
General G-Man - everything
It all started when our overrated adventurer, Mammies!, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling really concerned, Mammies! hit a live hand grenade, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, he realized that his beloved Targuus was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, Cthulhu. Mammies! had known Cthulhu for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Cthulhu was unique. He was charismatic though sometimes a little... stupid. Mammies! called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Cthulhu picked up to a very happy Mammies!. Cthulhu calmly assured him that most South American hissing sloths sigh before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually scandalously panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Mammies!. Why was Cthulhu trying to distract Mammies!? Because he had snuck out from Mammies!'s with the Targuus only three days prior. It was a sassy little Targuus... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Mammies! got back to the subject at hand: his Targuus. Cthulhu panicked. Relunctantly, Cthulhu invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Targuus. Mammies! grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Cthulhu realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Targuus and he had to do it fearlessly. He figured that if Mammies! took the amphibious vehicle, he had take at least three minutes before Mammies! would get there. But if he took the Crocodrillo!? Then Cthulhu would be excessively screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Cthulhu was interrupted by seven stupid Apes that were lured by his Targuus. Cthulhu turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he aggressively reached for his potato and aimlessly grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Crocodrillo! rolling up. It was Mammies!.
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at McDonald's to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Mammies! was out of the Crocodrillo! and went charismatically jaunting toward Cthulhu's front door. Meanwhile inside, Cthulhu was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Targuus into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Cthulhu was concerned but at least the Targuus was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Cthulhu flamboyantly purred. With a inept push, Mammies! opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish flaming idiot in a best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Cthulhu assured him. Mammies! took a seat just perfectly far from where Cthulhu had hidden the Targuus. Cthulhu shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Mammies! was distracted. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, Cthulhu noticed a abrasive look on Mammies!'s face. Mammies! slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Cthulhu felt a stabbing pain in his armpit when Mammies! asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Targuus right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A pestering look started to form on Mammies!'s face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Mammies! nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Cthulhu could react, Mammies! thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Targuus was plainly in view.
Mammies! stared at Cthulhu for what what must've been six hours. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Cthulhu groped explosively in Mammies!'s direction, clearly desperate. Mammies! grabbed the Targuus and bolted for the door. It was locked. Cthulhu let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Mammies!,' he rebuked. Cthulhu always had been a little stupid, so Mammies! knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Cthulhu did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. A few freaknasty minutes later, he gripped his Targuus tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Cthulhu looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Mammies!. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Mammies!. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Cthulhu walked over to the window and looked down. Mammies! was gone.
Just yonder, Mammies! was struggling to make his way through the secret vineyard behind Cthulhu's place. Mammies! had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Apes suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Targuus. One by one they latched on to Mammies!. Already weakened from his injury, Mammies! yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Apes running off with his Targuus.
But then God came down with His charismatic smile and restored Mammies!'s Targuus. Feeling exasperated, God smote the Apes for their injustice. Then He got in His curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala) and jettisoned away with the fortitude of 550,000 disease-carrying chipmunks running from a bloated pack of disease-carrying chipmunks. Mammies! vomited with joy when he saw this. His Targuus was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eleven minutes his favorite TV show, , was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When albino cats meet rusty razor blade'). Mammies! was thrilled. And so, everyone except Cthulhu and a few contraceptive-toting venomous koalas lived blissfully happy, forever after.
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