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Aquaman's Lament
by Mark Aaron James

You stay here, Batman. I'll go ask my aquatic friends if they've seen anything suspicious.
*dolphin chirp*


Whoa! Whoa-oh!

Sitting in the Hall of Justice
But is there justice after all
'Cause after all, when you discuss us
I am the last name you recall

So he might sell a few more comics
As soberly he saves the world
But I've had seven gin and tonics
And I want you to be my girl

I can take you to Atlantis
It makes that cave look like a hole
We'll tie one on on the Titanic
Vicki Vale, my heart you stole

Whoa! Whoa-oh!
Whoa! Whoa-oh!

Have you ever got the notion
That he's just a rat with wings
Well, I'm the king of seven oceans
And Vicki, you're my everything

Barring maritime disasters
I have got some time to spare
While he's all tied up with Robin
In a cape and underwear

I can take you to Atlantis
It makes that cave look like a hole
We'll tie one on on the Titanic
Vicki Vale, my heat you stole

If you see it with perspective
He is just Bruce Wayne in tights
But you could be a bit selective
And have free seafood every night

Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!

Well, I could understand it if he were Superman
'Cause after all, that cat can fly
But take away that Batmobile, that boat, that belt, that butler
He's just another boring guy

But I could take you to Atlantis
It makes that cave look like a hole
We'll tie one on on the Titanic
Vicki Vale, my heart you stole

If you look at it from my side
Of the heroes that you've met
He's a bit more on the dry side
Everything's better when wet

Contributed by Christian G. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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