She released four albums and three EPs without any label support via Bandcamp from 2012-2014, and gathered a large following on blogging platform Tumblr, where she would also post song demos and covers. In 2015, Canadian artist Grimes discovered her music via the site, and created Eerie Organization, an artist collective/incubator for the release of Dollanganger's fifth album Natural Born Losers, stating that it was a crime for it not to be heard, and that Dollanganger is North America's greatest living songwriter. Grimes also invited Dollanganger on her Rhinestone Cowgirls tour, where they both opened for Lana Del Rey. Natural Born Losers also marked the beginning of Dollanganger's collaboration with Matthew Tomasi, multi-instrumentalist, producer, and co-founder of indie label Homie Shit Magazine.
Following these successes, Dollanganger's first four albums were re-released digitally via GTR Records, and physically via Run for Cover Records, in 2016. In 2018, she released her sixth album, Heart Shaped Bed, through Eerie Organization. It was co-produced by Matt Tomasi, and included a finished version of her song "Chapel," which made an appearance in TV series The Walking Dead in 2016 and remains one of her most popular songs. In order to promote the album, she also released music videos for her songs Lemonade, Heart Shaped Bed, and Lacrymaria Olor, all directed by Mac Boucher, brother of Grimes.
In 2019, Nicole Dollanganger befriended Ethel Cain after hearing her cover of "Poacher's Pride" on Tumblr, and invited her to open for her performance at Beat Kitchen in Chicago. Through Dollanganger, Ethel Cain met Matt Tomasi, who later released two of her EPs on CD and cassette through his label, and co-produced the tracks "Ptolemaea" and "August Underground" on her debut album.
In January 2023, Nicole Dollanganger released her highly-anticipated seventh album, Married in Mount Airy.
Angels of Porn II
Nicole Dollanganger Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
and i guess so do i
it's harder to be good in here
than it is to starve and die
i'd give my body to satan
if i could only keep my soul
but i can't seem to find the split
between them anymore
my hair is falling out again
and i don't really care
i try to stir my conscience
it was never really there
your fingers up inside of me
feel like fingers down my throat
everything is fine in heaven
but i'll never get to know
make sacrifice in bathtubs
and stained bed covers
soak all of my clothes in holy water
and drown them like a crying son
drown them like a crying daughter
praying in the night to the angels of porn
nails in their wrists, knees on the floor
great lakes full of cum extracted from everyone
The lyrics of Nicole Dollanganger's song "A Marvelous Persona" depict a dark and grim reality of the singer's life. The first verse talks about how her bedroom smells like rotten food and how it's harder to be good than to starve and die. This could indicate the singer's depression and how the space around her reflects her inner struggles. The second verse talks about how she would give her body to Satan if she could only keep her soul. This could be a metaphor for how the singer is trying to preserve her inner self while her outward appearance and actions may seem twisted and corrupted.
The chorus talks about how everything seems fine in heaven, but the singer knows that she'll never get to experience it. This could indicate her despair and hopeless outlook on life. The third verse talks about how the singer's hair is falling out again, but she doesn't care, and how she tries to stir her conscience but it was never really there. This could suggest how the singer has accepted her melancholic state and how her conscience no longer troubles her as much.
The final verse talks about how the singer makes sacrifices in bathtubs and stained bed covers and how she soaks her clothes in holy water and drowns them like a crying son or daughter. This creates an image of the singer trying to cleanse herself of her inner demons but not being successful. The last line of the song talks about praying to the angels of porn and how they have nails in their wrists and knees on the floor, creating an eerie religious imagery and suggesting that the singer has found solace in unconventional means.
Line by Line Meaning
My bedroom smells like rotten food
My room is filled with the stench of spoiled food
and i guess so do i
I am also starting to smell bad
it's harder to be good in here
It's difficult to maintain a positive attitude in this environment
than it is to starve and die
It's easier to simply give up and succumb to death
i'd give my body to satan
I would offer myself up to the devil
if i could only keep my soul
As long as my soul remained intact
but i can't seem to find the split
I cannot seem to distinguish the difference
between them anymore
Between my body and soul anymore
my hair is falling out again
My hair is starting to shed once again
and i don't really care
I do not have any concern for it
i try to stir my conscience
I try to awaken my conscience
it was never really there
But it seems I never had one to begin with
your fingers up inside of me
Your fingers inside me
feel like fingers down my throat
It feels like fingers in my throat
everything is fine in heaven
Everything is well in heaven
but i'll never get to know
But I will never know firsthand
make sacrifice in bathtubs
Make offerings in the bathtub
and stained bed covers
And the bed sheets that are ruined
soak all of my clothes in holy water
Soak all my clothes in sacred water
and drown them like a crying son
And submerge them like a weeping child
drown them like a crying daughter
Or like a sobbing daughter
praying in the night to the angels of porn
Praying to the angelic beings of pornography at night
nails in their wrists, knees on the floor
Their wrists holding them up, on their knees, praying
great lakes full of cum extracted from everyone
Vast bodies of water filled with bodily fluids taken from all
Contributed by Keira I. Suggest a correction in the comments below.