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Dark Comedy Morning Show
by Open Mike Eagle

Dark comedy cold as the ocean
Ad a l0l cause nobody seems to know when I'm joking
For those who haven't heard of me
I'm bad at sarcasm so I work in absurdity
On that laugh to keep from crying tip
Rap like Wyatt vs Chet in Weird Science
Cause my genre's all hack
Actions cliche, melodrama falls flat
And everybody's getting fired
I flew off the handle, and boy are my arms tired
Rap songs like Patch Adams
Shadyac thought of it as art 'til they laughed at it
Rap songs like Steven Wright
Monotone drone, people wonder if he breathing right

We got that dark dark comedy
That dark d-dark dark dark d-dark comedy

Cause rappers ruin the punchline
Like stand up club hecklers doing the punchline
Cause I'll tweet on Sunday morning like a preacher at a church
Because my true religion is the thirst
It's like Burn After Reading
The dark ugly truth that addicts learn at the meetings
Sean already wrote about the modern man
The only other option is the plight of the hologram
It's dark comedy, I would've called it black
If another dude calls me a racist, I'mma snap
Cause Google knows what's in my cabinet
And Facebook logs all of my favorite sandwiches
And what they need the damn data for
To analyze the shit they'd need a whole 'nother labor force
Cause I'm addicted to my celly
And I gotta have some coffee in my belly, ya smell me

There's mad shootings on the news
Unless it's in the Chi, cause blacks and mexicans can die
I swear we live in John Lennon songs
Matching track suit like dude in Royal Tenenbaums
It's like the In Living Color cast
We'd laughing trying not to wish death on the upper class
I'd like to run up on the Koch Brothers
And beat 'em with a garden hose made of old rubber
Give 'em rock bottoms and a cold stone stunner
Drop some cold butter on 'em from the skyscraper
Pistol whip 'em with the handle of a lightsaber
Cut 'em with rice paper, chuckle like a wiseacre
Instead think of something sarcastic, black
My man Nocan knows what I'm laughing at
My man Busdriver knows what I'm laughing at
My man Milo knows what I'm laughing at


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