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Taxi Driver
by Small Island Pride

Well, last year at Venezuela
Boys, I bounce with a senorita
Yes, she wanted a taxi driver
To drive her out when she in for pleasure
Boys, I sent her My application
And she send me her regulation
She say, "You car is a Ford
It don't respect Highway Code
It does skid when it overload"

Oh, But she give me a chart
Telling me to drive it fast
Don't mind if it out of gas
If the radiator start to boil
Do, don't stop, let water wash down the coil

Well, as a driver with wide experience
Boys, I send this car for inspection
I give the mechanic man my instruction
To check up from diff to the pistons
I even beg him plug the muffler
Because I know these old Fords love to backfire
I beg him clip some of the wires that it mightn't cause no fire
Boy, and plug the radiator

Because I done know all my charge is to drive she fast
Don't mind if she out of gas
But if she radiator staart to boil
Do, don't stop, let the water overflow the coil

Well, the car came back from inspection
I told her Monday is demonstration
She told me, "No, honey wait until Wednesday
I want to fix the springs in my upholstrey
Because when we start this fast driving
And my car start over shaking
The slightest jerk affect my brain
My back might get strain
And then I feel an afterpain"

But I told her, "No, doo doo I driving far
Don't mind if you out of gas
But if your radiator start to boil
Do, don't stop, let the water tear loose the coil"

Well, the car came back from inspection
Boys, we went out on demonstration
You know she drive ten miles and a quarter
I told her stop turn this wheel over
Boys, is now I start my fast driving
A lot of funny things start happening
You know the wires cross one another
The water hose bust loose the radiator
Well, boys, the gearbox started a grinding
This gear so hard I can't get it goin'
So I pull out my gear lever water fly through she muffler
Aand the whole car went on fire

If you hear her: "Stop, driver, not so fast"
I said, "Why?" She said, "The car out of gas"
I said, "Girl, your piston still pitching oil
And why the hell water can't wash the coil?"

Contributed by Liliana V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.