Now that I know
The way it goes
You gotta pay back every penny that you owe

twelve years old
In your mama's clothes
Shut the blinds and lock up every door

and if you hear
Someone coming near
Just close your eyes and make them disappear now

Years away
Finds me here today
On my own and knowless of my way now

So I send my friends
Gifts from where I've been
Something for the hand that's never there to lend

better keep those eyes
Climbing paradise
And don't pretend you won't reach it in the end now

dearest dear
I know you been here
Why'd you run tell me why'd you disappear now

that you're now
Here with me
Seems to be the only time I can see you clearly

I may not know
How to treat or give you what you need
But I am a gentleman who says what he means now

And now I sing
Upon my knees
And praise the kind ?gives us? a gentle breeze

I'd see that swell
Like a story in me to tell
Told years away and past my baby dying

so you raise them up
To heaven or ways to hell
They're unaware share to give a hand to help some

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Devendra Banhart's song "Now That I Know" speak to the theme of repentance and reconciliation, as Banhart reflects on the past and offers an apology to someone, perhaps a former lover or friend. The opening line "Now that I know the way it goes, you gotta pay back every penny that you owe" suggests that the singer has come to realize the gravity of his actions and the consequences that come with them. He may have hurt someone in the past and now recognizes that he must make amends, even if it requires some sacrifice on his part.

The second stanza reveals a vulnerable moment from the singer's childhood, as he recalls a time when he dressed up in his mother's clothes and hid from the world. The isolation that he experienced then carries over into the present, as the singer admits to feeling lost and alone, "knowless of [his] way now." He sends gifts to absent friends, hoping to connect with them despite the distance between them.

The closing lines of the song suggest that the singer has found some measure of peace and redemption, even as he reflects on the loss and pain in his life. He acknowledges that he may not be able to give those around him everything they need, but he promises to be honest and true in his intentions. The final image of hands reaching out to offer help, whether to heaven or hell, speaks to the idea that redemption is possible for all, no matter their circumstances.

Line by Line Meaning

Now that I know
Having gained knowledge and understanding

The way it goes
The manner in which things unfold

You gotta pay back every penny that you owe
You are obligated to repay any debts you have incurred

Twelve years old
A young age of youthfulness

In your mama's clothes
Wearing the clothing of your mother

Shut the blinds and lock up every door
Close all windows and doors to hide or protect yourself

And if you hear
In case you hear

Someone coming near
Someone approaching

Just close your eyes and make them disappear now
Close your eyes and make them go away now

Years away
A distant point in time

Finds me here today
Has brought me to the present moment

On my own and knowless of my way now
Without guidance, I am uncertain of my path

So I send my friends
I send gifts to my friends

Gifts from where I've been
Gifts acquired from my travels

Something for the hand that's never there to lend
Gifts given to those who have not helped me before

Better keep those eyes
You should stay alert

Climbing paradise
Striving for an ideal life

And don't pretend you won't reach it in the end now
Don't deceive yourself that you can't achieve it eventually

Dearest dear
A term of endearment for a loved one

I know you been here
I know you have been in a specific place

Why'd you run tell me why'd you disappear now
Why did you flee and vanish without explanation?

That you're now
That you are presently

Here with me
Existing and present with me

Seems to be the only time I can see you clearly
The current moment appears to be the only time I have clarity in seeing you

I may not know
I may not understand or have knowledge of

How to treat or give you what you need
I may be unaware of how to properly care for or provide for you

But I am a gentleman who says what he means now
Despite my potential shortcomings, I am honest and straightforward

And now I sing
I am currently singing

Upon my knees
On my knees in reverence or pleading

And praise the kind ?gives us? a gentle breeze
Expressing gratitude for nature's gentle winds

I'd see that swell
I would notice a notable increase

Like a story in me to tell
Similar to a tale worth telling

Told years away and past my baby dying
Told long after a loved one has passed away

So you raise them up
You should elevate or uplift others

To heaven or ways to hell
Either to a place of good fortune or to a place of misfortune

They're unaware share to give a hand to help some
Others are unconscious of their ability to help those in need, so we should lend a hand

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Thais Nicols

on Mi Negrita

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