Your Deep Rest
The Hotelier Lyrics

So while you're fixing up your bed
As you make your bed ready

So while you're organizing drawers
While you're arranging your belongings just right

Could you just listen to the problems had
Would you hear out my troubles?

With problems of yours?
And in turn, share with me your worries?

And what's that note you're writing there?
What is it that you're jotting down on paper?

Why are you giving me this back?
Why are you returning this thoughtful present I gave you when we first met?

This was a gift from when we met
This object served as a symbol of our initial encounter

Back when you weren't so upset
A time when you weren't filled with so much grief

I called in sick from your funeral
I pretended to be ill so I wouldn't have to attend your memorial service

The sight of your body made me feel uncomfortable
Seeing your lifeless body made me uneasy and distressed

I couldn't recognize your shell
I could barely recognize the body that was once home to your vibrant soul

Your branching off had met an end
Your life had come to an end

From all the weight that made you bend
The burden you carried slowly wore you down

And when you tried to shed your leaves
When you attempted to let go of your troubles

You pined for warmth as they said
You longed for comfort as others criticized you for not loving yourself enough

Your lack of love for your dear self
The way you neglected to care for yourself

Is sapping all of us here out!
Negatively affects those who care for you and are influenced by your actions

Trace your roots back to the ground
Look back to your history and embrace your roots

Work out the knotholes for yourself
Tackle your problems and take action to better yourself

And I found the notes you left behind
I came across the messages you wrote before you passed away

Little hints and helpless cries
Vague signals and signs of distress

Desperate wishing to be over
Your strong desire for everything to come to an end

You said you're trapped in your body
You felt confined by your physical existence

And getting deeper every day
And felt more and more entrenched in your despair as time passed

They diagnosed you born that way
Medical professionals determined that your condition was genetic

They say it runs in your family
It's possible that others in your family have suffered from the same affliction

A conscious erasure of working class background
A deliberate attempt to forget one's humble beginnings

Where despair trickles down
Where hopelessness and misery seep through generations

Imbalanced chemical crutch
Using substances to fill the void and temporarily ease the pain

Open up, swallow down
Taking in the toxic substances without hesitation

You said "Remember me for me
You asked to be remembered for your true self, free from your struggles

I need to set my spirit free"
You expressed the need to be liberated from the shackles of your torment

Tradition of closure nearly felt impossible
The idea of obtaining peace from traditional ways of closure seemed unattainable

I should have never gave my word to you
I regret promising you something that I couldn't fulfill

Not a cry, not a sound
Without any outbursts or noise

Might have learned how to swim
Perhaps I would've learned how to overcome and cope

Never taught how to drown
But I was never taught how to submit to the overwhelming emotions

I watched you set your spirit free
I witnessed as you finally found peace and let go of your sorrows