brutal
Olivia Rodrigo Lyrics

I want it to be like, messy
I'm tired of trying to be perfect and put together all the time. I just want to let loose and be myself, even if that means things might get a little chaotic or 'messy.'

I'm so insecure, I think That I'll die before I drink And I'm so caught up in the news Of who likes me, and who hates you
I have a lot of anxiety and fear about what other people think of me, to the point where it can become debilitating. I'm constantly checking social media to see if people are talking about me, and I can't handle the thought of others disliking me.

And I'm so tired that I might Quit my job, start a new life And they'd all be so disappointed 'Cause who am I, if not exploited
I'm overwhelmed and burnt out from the pressure of trying to please everyone around me. Sometimes I just want to run away and start over, but I worry that people will judge me for not living up to their expectations. I feel like I'm only valuable to others if I'm doing something for them.

And I'm so sick of seventeen Where's my fucking teenage dream? If someone tells me one more time 'Enjoy your youth', I'm gonna cry
I feel like I'm missing out on something (e.g., typical teenage experiences) and I'm not sure what it is. Everyone keeps telling me that these are supposed to be the 'best years of my life,' but I'm not enjoying them the way I 'should'. It's frustrating to hear people give me advice that isn't helpful or relevant to my situation.

And I don't stick up for myself I'm anxious and nothing can help And I wish I'd done this before And I wish people liked me more
I struggle with advocating for myself and asserting my needs. I'm so consumed by anxiety and self-doubt that it feels impossible to speak up. I regret not being more assertive in the past, and I wish that people would see me as a more likeable or valuable person.

All I did was try my best This the kinda thanks I get? Unrelentlessly upset (uh-uh, oh) They say these are the golden years But I wish I could disappear Ego crush is so severe God, it's brutal out here
I'm frustrated and hurt that despite all my efforts to be successful, loved, or respected, I still feel like I'm failing. It's a constant struggle to maintain my sense of self-worth and confidence, and I feel like I'm constantly being knocked down. Even though people tell me that I should be enjoying this time in my life, it's hard to when everything feels so overwhelming and oppressive.

I feel like no one wants me And I hate the way I'm perceived I only have two real friends And lately, I'm a nervous wreck 'Cause I love people I don't like And I hate every song I write And I'm not cool, and I'm not smart And I can't even parallel park
I feel isolated and unlovable because I don't fit into the mold of what others consider 'cool' or desirable. I have a small circle of friends, but I still feel like I'm not connecting with them on a deep level. It's exhausting to constantly feel like a fraud and worry about whether or not people will accept me for who I am. Additionally, I'm struggling with creative blocks and self-doubt that makes me feel like I'm not talented or skilled enough to succeed.

Got a broken ego, broken heart And God, I don't even know where to start
I feel like my sense of self and emotional well-being are in shambles right now. I'm not sure how to begin to heal or fix the many issues that are weighing me down.