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Cemetery Polka
Tom Waits Lyrics


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Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse
Plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
Made a million during World War Two
But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates
And they'll never give a dime to you

Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is go to hell

Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
And there ain't no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill will never leave a will
And the tumor is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg

Uncle Phil can't live without his pills
He has emphysema and he's almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Overall Meaning

The song "Cemetery Polka" by Tom Waits is a dark and ironic commentary on family dynamics and the American Dream. The lyrics describe a dysfunctional family with a variety of eccentric and troubled relatives who have all failed in some way. The uncle Vernon, who is introduced at the beginning of the song, is a source of pride for the family because of his status as a "big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse" and his talent for playing the accordion. However, the rest of the family is not so successful or admirable. Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William are wealthy but selfish, Auntie Mame is insane and bitter, Uncle Violet is a failed pilot who now runs a seedy business, Uncle Bill has a terminal illness and a scandalous affair, and Uncle Phil is addicted to drugs and in poor health.


Line by Line Meaning

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
Uncle Vernon is a fiercely self-reliant person who does not need anyone else’s help to perform any task, just like a hog that can survive on ice. He is an important person at the slaughterhouse and plays accordion for Mr. Weiss.


He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse Plays accordion for Mr. Weiss
Uncle Vernon is a key figure at the slaughterhouse, respected for his skills and dedication to his work. He is also a talented accordion player, who often entertains Mr. Weiss and his colleagues.


Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William Made a million during World War Two But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates And they'll never give a dime to you
Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William became millionaires by taking advantage of the opportunities created during World War II. However, they are both stingy and selfish, and will never part with any of their wealth by giving to others.


Auntie Mame has gone insane She lives in the doorway of an old hotel And the radio is playing opera All she ever says is go to hell
Auntie Mame has lost her sanity and now lives in the doorway of an old and abandoned hotel. She constantly listens to the radio, which is always playing opera music. Her sole expression every time is offensive and always invites one to hell.


Uncle Violet flew as a pilot And there ain't no pretty girls in France Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint They say he never keeps it in his pants
Uncle Violet was once a pilot who flew planes. He was once in France but never saw any attractive women there. Now, he manages a small bookmaker's shop, but he has the reputation of being promiscuous and engaging in multiple affairs.


Uncle Bill will never leave a will And the tumor is as big as an egg He has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican And I heard she has a wooden leg
Uncle Bill does not intend to make a will that will determine the distribution of his property when he is gone. Sadly, he is suffering from a tumor that is the size of an egg, which may lead to his demise. Uncle Bill's mistress is Puerto Rican, and hearsay is that her leg is made of wood.


Uncle Phil can't live without his pills He has emphysema and he's almost blind And we must find out where the money is Get it now before he loses his mind
Uncle Phil's health is fragile, and he needs pills to survive. He suffers from emphysema, and his eyesight is considerably poor. Efforts must be made to locate his money quickly and safely before Uncle Phil becomes insane.


Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss
Uncle Vernon is still a highly self-sufficient individual and remains independent like a hog on ice. His position remains essential at the slaughterhouse, where he is considered a big-shot. He still entertains Mr. Weiss and his associates with his accordion music.




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: THOMAS ALAN WAITS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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