Sweet Transvestite
Tim Curry Lyrics

How d'you do, I
Greetings, I'm introducing myself

See you've met my
I see that you have already met my

Faithful handyman
Trustworthy assistant

He's just a little brought down because
He's a bit saddened because

When you knocked
At the time that you knocked

He thought you were the candy man
He mistook you for the person who delivers sweets

Don't get strung out by the way that I look
Please don't be agitated by my appearance

Don't judge a book by its cover
Please don't make conclusions solely based on outward appearances

I'm not much of a man by the light of day
I'm not traditionally masculine in the daytime

But by night I'm one hell of a lover
However, in the evening, I'm an exceptional romantic partner

I'm just a sweet transvestite
I'm merely a kind cross-dresser

From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha
Representing the trans community of a fictional place named Transexual in Transylvania, haha

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
Allow me to give you a tour and potentially entertain you with some music

You look like you're both pretty groovy
You appear to be quite cool

Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal
Alternatively, if you're seeking something engaging but not overly dreary

We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie
We could watch an older movie starring Steve Reeves

I'm glad we caught you at home
I am pleased that we arrived while you were present

Could we use your phone?
May we make use of your telephone?

We're both in a bit of a hurry (right!)
Both of us are somewhat rushed (correct!)

We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We'll communicate our exact location, then return to the vehicle

We don't want to be any worry
We don't wish to cause any concern

Well, you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?
Oh dear, your tire went flat. Isn't that something?

Well, babies, don't you panic
Don't be alarmed, my dear

By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright
Things will appear acceptable under the evening sky

I'll get you a satanic mechanic
I will find a poorly behaved car repairman for you

Why don't you stay for the night? (night)
Why don't you spend the evening here?

Or maybe a bite? (bite)
Or perhaps you're hungry?

I could show you my favorite obsession
I could introduce you to my favorite interest

I've been making a man
I have been in the process of creating a man

With blond hair and a tan
This man possesses blonde hair and a sun-kissed complexion

And he's good for relieving my tension
He helps to alleviate my stress

Hit it, hit it, I'm just a sweet transvestite (sweet transvestite)
Begin the music. I'm simply a kind cross-dresser

From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha
Representing the trans community of a fictional place named Transexual in Transylvania, haha

So, come up to the lab
Let's ascend to the laboratory

And see what's on the slab
There, we can view what's been placed upon the table

I see you shiver with antici-
I notice you quiver with anticipation

-Pation
Anticipation

But maybe the rain
However, it could be argued that the precipitation

Is really to blame
Is actually the cause of this reaction

So I'll remove the cause
Therefore, I shall address the cause

But not the symptom
While leaving the symptom alone