Along Came Jones
The Coasters Lyrics

I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel 2
I sat comfortably in my chair and switched on my television.

A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam
An infamous criminal known as Salty Sam

Was chasin' poor Sweet Sue
Was pursuing an innocent woman named Sweet Sue.

He trapped her in the old sawmill
He caught her in an abandoned sawmill.

And said with an evil laugh
And menacingly chuckled thereafter.

"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'll saw you all in half!"
"If you don't hand over your land property, I'll kill you and your acquaintances."

And then he grabbed her (and then)
He held her tightly (and then)

He tied her up (and then)
He restrained her movements (and then)

He turned on the bandsaw (and then, and then!)
He started the machine that could potentially kill her (and then, and then!)

And then along came Jones
Then appeared Jones

Tall, thin Jones
A tall and slender person named Jones.

Slow-walkin' Jones
A person named Jones who was walking slowly.

Slow-talkin' Jones
A person named Jones who was speaking calmly and deliberately.

Along came long, lean, lanky Jones
Jones, who was long and lean, showed up.

Commercial came on, so I got up
A commercial break started, and I stood up.

To get myself a snack
To get some food.

You should've seen what was goin' on
I couldn't believe what was happening.

By the time that I got back
When I returned

Down in the old abandoned mine
At the old deserted mine

Sweet Sue was havin' fits
Sweet Sue was experiencing seizures.

That villain said give me the deed to your ranch or I'll blow you all to bits!
That evil character threatened to explode them all if the land property wasn't surrendered.

And then he grabbed her (and then)
He caught her (and then)

He tied her up (and then)
He restricted her movement (and then)

He lit the fuse to the dynamite (and then, and then!)
He ignited the dynamite's fuse, which could harm them (and then, and then!)

I got so bugged I turned it off
I became upset and switched the channel off.

And turned on another show
Then switched to watch something else.

But there was the same old shoot-'em-up
But, to my dismay, there was another violent program on.

And the same old rodeo
And the same old presentation about cowboys and bulls.

Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff
Salty Sam attempted to stuff

Sweet Sue in a burlap sack
Sweet Sue into a brown sack.

He said, "if you don't give me the deed to your ranch
He said that if she didn't hand over the land documents

I'm gonna throw you on the railroad tracks!"
He would hurl her onto the railway tracks."

And then he grabbed her (and then)
He seized her (and then)

He tied her up (and then)
He immobilized her (and then)

A train started comin' (and then, and then!)
A train was approaching (and then, and then!)

And then along came Jones
And then suddenly appeared Jones

Tall, thin Jones
The tall and thin Jones

Slow-walkin' Jones
The person named Jones who moves slowly.

Slow-talkin' Jones
The person called Jones, who spoke softly and deliberately.

Along came long, lean, lanky Jones
Jones, who was long and lean, made his appearance.

Along came long, lean, lanky Jones
Once more, Jones who was thin and long showed up.

Along came long, lean, lanky Jones
At last, Jones who was gaunt and tall emerged.