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Death with Dignity
Sufjan Stevens Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you
And I don't know where to begin
And I don't know where to begin

Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us
But I don't know where to begin
But I don't know where to begin
Again I lost my strength completely, oh be near me tired old mare
With the wind in your hair

Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable?
Well I suppose a friend is a friend
And we all know how this will end

Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper, silhouette of the cedar
What is that song you sing for the dead
What is that song you sing for the dead
I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room
Well I got nothing to prove
Well I got nothing to prove

I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you
But every road leads to an end
Yes every road leads to an end
Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens
You'll never see us again
You'll never see us again

Overall Meaning

The opening line of Sufjan Stevens' "Death with Dignity" is addressed to the "Spirit of my silence," which could be interpreted as an inner voice, a spiritual presence, or some sort of psychological state. The singer admits he can hear this voice but is afraid to be near it. This hesitation could be due to fear of death, uncertainty about where to go in life or a combination of both, and it sets the stage for the rest of the song. The chorus repeats "And I don't know where to begin," emphasizing the singer's uncertainty.


The second verse describes a desert and a forest, an oxymoron that captures the ambiguity of the song's theme. Again, the singer admits he doesn't know where to begin, suggesting that he may feel a sense of futility when it comes to finding direction or purpose. The verse continues with a request for help - this time from an old horse with the wind in its hair. The horse acts as a symbol of nature, which can be both calming and unpredictable, and suggests that the singer seeks solace in the natural world.


The final verse begins with a vision of amethyst and flowers on a table, but then questions whether it is real or a fable. This ambiguity reflects the underlying uncertainty of the song's theme. The verse ends with a rendezvous between the singer and a chimney swift (a type of bird) that acts as a keeper. The swift's song is said to be for the dead, which hints that the singer may be seeking guidance from beyond the living world. The song concludes with a statement of forgiveness for the singer's mother and the realization that every road leads to an end. The final line, "You'll never see us again," suggests that death is the ultimate separation from the living world.


Line by Line Meaning

Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you
I feel your presence, but I am scared to face you


And I don't know where to begin
I am lost and clueless


Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us
There is hope even in the barren lands


But I don't know where to begin
Despite the possibilities, I am still uncertain


Again I lost my strength completely, oh be near me tired old mare
I am feeling weak, and I need someone to comfort me


With the wind in your hair
Just being beside me is enough


Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable?
The beautiful things around me, are they real or just a dream?


Well I suppose a friend is a friend
Regardless of what is real or not, having a friend beside me is important


And we all know how this will end
We are aware of the finality of things


Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper, silhouette of the cedar
Let the bird guide me and the trees shelter me


What is that song you sing for the dead
What is the song of farewell?


I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room
The beacon of light has come for me


Well I got nothing to prove
I am ready for what comes next


I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you
I forgive you, and I miss you


Yes every road leads to an end
All roads have a final destination


Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens
Your ghostly presence lingers, among the flora and fauna


You'll never see us again
Our time together has ended, and we will not meet again




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: Sufjan Stevens

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@chamoddasanayaka9412

Lyrics 👇
Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you
And I don't know where to begin
And I don't know where to begin

Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us
But I don't know where to begin
But I don't know where to begin
Again I lost my strength completely, oh be near me tired old mare
With the wind in your hair

Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable?
Well I suppose a friend is a friend
And we all know how this will end

Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper, silhouette of the cedar
What is that song you sing for the dead
What is that song you sing for the dead
I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room
Well I got nothing to prove
Well I got nothing to prove

I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you
But every road leads to an end
Yes every road leads to an end
Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens
You'll never see us again
You'll never see us again



@josephvictory9536

If anybody wants, these are the song meanings I have gathered from others and my self. While not perfect I feel this captures the essence of this incredibly delicate and well worded work of art. Interpretation is in brackets

Lyrics:

Spirit of my silence I can hear you
But I’m afraid to be near you
And I don’t know where to begin
And I don’t know where to begin

(He does not know how to confront death, he feels the spirit of silence as the call to be aware of death, to become at peace with it and consequently himself)Somewhere in the desert there’s a forest
And an acre before us
But I don’t know where to begin
But I don’t know where to begin

(Most likely refers to his despondent state but his belief that there is somewhere he can find peace in spirit to think of his mother happily and without personal sadness)

Again I’ve lost my strength completely, oh be near me,
Tired old mare with the wind in your hair

(straightforward meaning. He is deeply depressed and wants his mum back)Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable?
Well I suppose a friend is a friend
And we all know how this will end
(He does not know if his memories are positively biased as there is some truth and lies to it. He is questioning his despondence. But it does not matter much because a friend is a friend regardless and he has to come to terms.)
Chimney swift that finds me, be my keeper
Silhouette of the cedar
What is that song you sing for the dead?
What is that song you sing for the dead?

(refers to the funeral process, coffin, cremation and song. Possibly he prefers to cremate 'chimney swift'. Cedar is a very rot resistant wood and bugs do not eat it, so it is a good but fairly expensive coffin wood. It also is a very spiritual wood in many traditions for sending off the dead. It could mean he spared no expense with her coffin.)

I see the signal searchlight strike me in the window of my room
Well I got nothing to prove
Well I got nothing to prove

(after the funeral process, he reflects on himself in the most intimate of ways, as if he is before god and cannot lie to himself and so must confront any feelings he has in full honesty)I forgive you, mother, I can hear you
And I long to be near you
But every road leads to an end
Yes every road leads to an end

(straightforward, he forgives her for the trespasses he hints at earlier in the passage. He still loves her but has come to accept the fact of her death)

Your apparition passes through me in the willows:
Five red hens—you’ll never see us again
You’ll never see us again

(this line kills me; it is him truly accepting death, that it cannot be fought. Willows are very spiritual trees, they are flexible and symbolize recovery, bonding from support and moving with the flow of life. Also willows are hunched trees, nicked weeping willows for their resemblance to persons hunched in grief. Five red hens could refer to family. They will not ever see her again, it is reversed to change the perspective to one of mutual loss)



@TDItaly98

This is the song that speaks to all.
This is the guitar that sounds like our souls.
This is the piano that echoes in our minds.
This is the melody that makes you smile and cry at the same time.
This is a promise.
This is a prayer.
This...

This, is us.



@sonicgrub

geokeoGR

I disagree.
Illinois is very dear to me since this is how I discovered Sufjan.
I recorded his live performance during the Illinois tour from KCRW in 2005 and played it in my truck before college classes.
Was struck how good the songwriting was.
And then heard the full deal on record and was stunned.
Sprawling and ambitious, it reminded me of an oral version of Grandma Moses' paintings. To steal from Sufjan; Illinois is an Arts and Crafts tone poem.
High art in a down to earth way.

I could hear Illinois in any mood since it covers so much emotional ground, while Carrie and Lowell is more niche listening.
If I'm in an upbeat, celebratory mood Carrie doesn't do, but Illinois does. There is no song on Carrie that matches the perfection and exultancy of Jacksonville.
 But if I need to feel the deep roots of familial earth, I'll spin Carrie to deep satisfaction.



@zokesackih1300

Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you
And I don't know where to begin
And I don't know where to begin
Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us
But I don't know where to begin
But I don't know where to begin
Again I lost my strength completely, oh be near me tired old mare
With the wind in your hair
Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable?
Well I suppose a friend is a friend
And we all know how this will end
Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper, silhouette of the cedar
What is that song you sing for the dead
What is that song you sing for the dead
I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room
Well I got nothing to prove
Well I got nothing to prove
I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you
But every road leads to an end
Yes every road leads to an end
Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens
You'll never see us again
You'll never see us again



@a-bis-zett

Spirit of my silence, I can hear you
But I’m afraid to be near you
And I don’t know where to begin
And I don’t know where to begin

Somewhere in the desert, there’s a forest
And an acre before us
But I don’t know where to begin
But I don’t know where to begin
Again, I've lost my strength completely, oh be near me
Tired, old mare with the wind in your hair

Amethyst and flowers on the table
Is it real or a fable?
Well, I suppose a friend is a friend
And we all know how this will end

Chimney swift that finds me, be my keeper
Silhouette of the cedar
What is that song you sing for the dead?
What is that song you sing for the dead?
I see the signal searchlight strike me in the window of my room
Well, I got nothing to prove
Well, I got nothing to prove

I forgive you, mother, I can hear you
And I long to be near you
But every road leads to an end
Yes, every road leads to an end
Your apparition passes through me in the willows
Five red hens – you’ll never see us again
You’ll never see us again



@hopelessent.1700

ZimmerSquash yea I have 6 albums and 3 songs from Call Me By Your Name and already it makes up 110 songs... I know there are those moments like The Black Hawk War but that compensates with songs like Impossible Soul or Chicago...

Surprisingly the shortest album is Carrie & Lowell with only 44 min as the other albums are well over 1 hour

The albums I have as of 6/15/18
Michigan
Illinois
Avalanche
Age of Adz
Carrie & Lowell
Planetarium
and the three songs from Call Me By Your Name

I might get The Greatest Gift and both Christmas Albums as their astounding 40+ tracks for each make me curious hearing his renditions of the hymns such as Come Thou Fount as my favorite version was by Fernando Ortega...

Honestly I think I became a fanboy of his work...



All comments from YouTube:

@eatyourkimchi

I listened to this album on loop for my four hour flight, and still haven't heard enough of it.  Oh man.  

@BackupWish

Flying back to Korea? 😺 Have a safe trip. Or landing. Or taxi ride home.

@pascalmatisse6918

OH MY GOD EATYOURKIMCHI LISTENS TO SUFJAN STEVENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@fedoragoodwater7342

***** so many fanboys.

@hfc1177

Eat Your Kimchi Talk about worlds colliding. I just discovered you guys and have been watching your old videos while at the same time obsessing over this album. Laughed watching your ranch dressing ramen video before dinner and then went to his concert last night in NYC after dinner and shed a few tears.

@neon471

Eat Your Kimchi small world, i've been subbed to you guys for a couple of years now and had no idea you liked sufjan stevens! glad you liked the album, love you guys!

18 More Replies...

@user-jt6xq7lz3m

I just lost my mom, who had been struggling with her depression for more than ten years. I loved her but I was afraid of being around her. Most of the time, I felt tired and helpless. I listened to this song very often when she was alive, imaging one day she would be happy and be like a “mother” again, or sometimes wondered how this would end, but never did I think that she would choose to commit suicide. However, she doesn’t need to feel the pain anymore. This song perfectly captures my emotion and heals me. Mom, I miss you.

@brenromanenghi4075

I wanna huge you 🥺❤️

@arsenilazarevich8779

Shit, man, sorry for you loss :(

@dulcepalma5423

I’m sorry for your lost, may she Rest In Peace. Sending love and healing your way🤍

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