My Hands
Leona Lewis Lyrics

I wake in the morning, tired of sleeping
I am physically awake but emotionally drained and tired from a restless night of dreaming about you

Get in the shower, and make my bed alone
I go through my daily routine alone now since you're no longer here to share my mornings with

I put on my makeup, talk into the mirror
I try to put on a brave face and pep talk myself in the mirror to face the day without you

Ready for a new day, without you
Despite the pain of not having you around, I force myself to be prepared for another day without you

And I walk steady on my feet
I try to hold myself together and appear strong even though I feel fragile without you

I talk, my voice obeys me
Although my inner voice is screaming for you, I try to speak coherently and not let my emotions show

I go out at night, sleep without the lights
I try to fill my days and nights with distractions, and even though I'm afraid of the dark without you, I try to sleep without the lights on

And I do all of the things I have to
Despite being heartbroken, I take care of my responsibilities and try to function normally without you

Keepin' you off my mind
I try my best to not think of you, but it's a constant battle in my mind

But when I think I'll be alright
Just when I think I'm moving on and healing, something triggers the pain of missing you and I realize that I'm not alright

My hands don't wanna start again
My hands reflect the brokenness of my heart and they don't want to perform daily tasks or carry out anything without you

My hands, no they don't wanna understand
My rational mind knows that we're over, but my hands still long for your touch and presence

My hands, they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find
My hands tremble with the pain and longing for you, disrupting any sense of calm or peace in my life

My hands, they only agree to hold your hands
My hands are conditioned to hold yours, and they don't want to let go of that feeling of comfort and love that comes with holding you

And they don't wanna be without your hands
My hands don't want to live a life without your touch and the feeling of being loved by you

And they will not let me go
Try as I might, my hands won't let go of the memories and emotions of being with you

I talk about you now
I have reached a point where I am somewhat comfortable talking about you and our past together

And go a day without crying
I am slowly making progress with healing and learning to live without you, able to go a day without shedding tears

I go out with my friends now
I am trying to rebuild my social life and enjoy the company of my friends again, even if it's difficult without you

I stay home all alone
Some days, I can't bear the thought of facing the world without you and instead choose to stay home alone

And I don't see you everywhere
I am starting to see less of you in places and things, but your presence is still felt everywhere I turn

And I can say your name easily
I have come to the point where I can say your name without feeling overwhelmed with emotions

I laugh a bit louder, without you
Although I am still hurting, I am trying to find joy in life and laugh more, even if it feels forced without you by my side

And I see different shades now
The world looks different to me now that you're gone and I am trying to find beauty in it, even if it's different from before

I'm almost, never, afraid now
I am becoming braver and stronger without you, learning to adapt to life on my own again

Sometimes I'll wake
I still have nights where I wake up in the middle of the night, dreaming of you

I see them reaching out for you
In my dreams, my hands still reach out to hold yours as if you were still there

Quietly break whatever shields I spent so long building up
Despite trying to put on a brave face, my dreams reveal the vulnerability and pain that I try to hide in my waking life

I cannot fake, 'cause when they cry I'm unspoken
I cannot control or hide the emotions that arise when I think of you, and my hands are a physical manifestation of that pain

They miss holding my baby
My hands long for the intimacy and love that we shared when we were together, and my heart aches for that loss

No, no, no they will not let me go
Despite my attempts to move on and heal, my hands and heart refuse to let go of the love and connection that we shared