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If I Had $1000000
Barenaked Ladies Lyrics


If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (I'd build a tree fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars (you could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars (maybe we could put a little tiny refrigerator in there somewhere)

(You know we could just go up there and hang out)
(Like open the fridge and stuff and there'd all be foods laid out for us)
(With little pre-wrapped sausages and things, mmm)
(They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon)
(Well, can you blame them? Yeah)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (we wouldn't have to walk to the store)
If I had a million dollars (now we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more)
If I had a million dollars (we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)

(But we would eat Kraft dinner)
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
(And buy really expensive ketchups with it)
(That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups, mmm)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd be rich

Lyrics © Songtrust Ave, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Ed Robertson, Steven Page

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
To comment on specific lyrics, highlight them
Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Redwood Rebelgirl

@Jesus. Mary and Joseph

No, Epic Skits is NOT "WRONG".

But, your nastiness toward them is.

Please keep that $h¡t to yourself.

I think that you must be very, very unhappy, maybe even miserable.

I implore & encourage you to get some help.

You don't need to be miserable & unhappy.
You don't deserve it.
You deserve to be happy, & content, & full of Light, Love, Life, Peace, & Joy! ❤️

(Then, you would not feel the need to try to bring down other people.

I am sorry for whatever has made you so very unhappy, & miserable in life--whether it's depression, bullying, feeling bad about yourself, losing someone you Love...whatever it is, I am sorry that you are so very unhappy.

I wish you comfort, healing, strength, support, connection, community, the right HELP to feel better, freedom, release, relief, Love, Light, Life, laughter, Hope, happiness, contentment, & peace.

And, Joy--unbounded Joy!

Take good care of yourself, Jesus. Mary and Joseph



Melvin Merkelhopper

This song takes me back to my childhood.


I wanted one of these for Christmas.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IDog


But I couldn't use it due to not having an mp3 player so my cousin bought his and played this song with it.


I only used it that one time and still have it my closet.



All comments from YouTube:

The Entire Earth

"Not a real green dress, that's cruel!"

Scambait Spidey

@Shinpunk Go green.. recycle, etc.

Bernardo O'Higgins VEVO

username checks out

Fire Child

The dye for Green Victorian clothing back in the day was derived from toxic copper arsonite (arsonic). So yes a real green dress would be VERY CRUEL.

Live Eritrean Learning Maths

That mean not grass or plantsjust green dress

PolarIce

Guys, it means if you wore a dress in that time people would take paint, and throw the paint at the dress so nobody would wear dresses. So it didn’t matter what color they said but green went with the song so that’s why they said that. “Not a green dress, that’s cruel!” Is basically saying I would buy you something nice just there’s no point because it’s going to get ruined.

22 More Replies...

Nybeth Obdilord

This song is brilliant. Those two breaks where the singers casually talk with each other make it even more relatable and shows they are just like us.

BigC073

The concert in the park in Toronto in 1991. I still remember the comment about "hovercraft dinner"
LOL!

Amber Wilson

This song is trash.

Joseph Cote

This was very much like their live shows. Each time they did a song it would be unique; the banter, or improvised lyrics or something.

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