My Dick
Mickey Avalon Lyrics

My dick cost a late night fee
My penis is highly valued and in demand, requiring a fee for access

Your dick got the HIV
Your penis is infected with the HIV virus

My dick plays on the double feature screen
My penis is highly visible and on display to multiple audiences

Your dick went straight to DVD
Your penis is not highly valued and only accessible to a limited audience

My dick, bigger than a bridge
My penis is incredibly large, surpassing even a massive structure like a bridge

Your dick look like a little kid's
Your penis is small and childlike in appearance

My dick, large like the Chargers, the whole team
My penis is so large that it could represent an entire team of football players

Your shit look like you fourteen
Your penis has not developed fully and resembles that of a teenager

My dick, locked in a cage, right
My penis is so impressive that it must be kept locked away to prevent others from accessing it without permission

Your dick suffer from stage fright
Your penis is unable to perform under pressure, especially in front of others

My dick, so hot, it's stolen
My penis is incredibly desirable, to the point where someone might steal it

Your dick look like Gary Coleman
Your penis is small and resembles the actor Gary Coleman

My dick, pink and big
My penis is both large and has a unique coloration, different from the norm

Your dick stinks like shit
Your penis has an unpleasant odor

My dick got a Caesar do
My penis is well-groomed, with a specific hairstyle like that of Julius Caesar

Your dick needs a tweezer, dude
Your penis has excess hair that needs to be removed with tweezers

My dick is like super size
My penis is of an incredibly large size

Your dick look like two fries
Your penis is small and thin, resembling two small fries

My dick, more mass than the Earth
My penis is so large that it has more volume than the entire planet Earth

Your dick, half staff, it needs work
Your penis is not fully erect and requires stimulation to achieve full potential

My dick, been there done that
My penis has had many experiences and is well-versed in many situations

Your dick sits there with dunce cap
Your penis is inactive and unimpressive, like a student wearing a dunce cap for bad behavior

My dick, V.I.P.
My penis is a VIP and only accessible to certain individuals

Your shit needs I.D.
Your penis is not recognized or valued as an important entity

My dick need no introduction
My penis is so famous and well-known that it requires no introduction

Your dick don't even function
Your penis is unable to perform its natural function

My dick served a whole luncheon
My penis can provide pleasure and satisfaction like a full feast

Your dick, it look like a munchkin
Your penis is small and dwarfish in appearance

My dick, size of a pumpkin
My penis is incredibly large, like the size of a pumpkin

Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
Your penis is not impressive and resembles the actor Macaulay Culkin

My dick, good good lovin'
My penis is capable of providing great satisfaction and pleasure to others

Your dick, good for nothin'
Your penis is not valuable or useful in any way

My dick bench pressed three fifty
My penis is incredibly powerful and strong, able to bench press an impressive amount of weight

Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty
Your penis is weak and powerless, unable to accomplish even small feats

My dick, pretty damn skimpy
My penis is small, despite its other impressive attributes

Your dick, hungry as a hippie
Your penis is insatiable and always seeking satisfaction, like a hungry hippie

My dick don't fit down the chimney
My penis is too large and impressive to fit into a standard-sized chimney

Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
Your penis is small and frail, like that of a child from the Philippines

My dick is like an M16
My penis is powerful and intimidating, like the M16 rifle

Your dick, broken vending machine
Your penis is malfunctioning and unable to provide satisfaction or pleasure

My dick parts the seas
My penis is incredibly powerful and can part entire bodies of water, like the Red Sea in the Bible

Your dick farts and queefs
Your penis is not impressive and produces gross and unpleasant sounds

My dick, rumble in the jungle
My penis is incredibly powerful and ferocious, like a wild animal in the jungle

Your dick got touched by your uncle
Your penis has experienced inappropriate sexual behavior by a family member

My dick goes to yoga
My penis is agile and flexible, like someone who practices yoga

Your dick, fruit roll-up
Your penis is small, weak, and unappetizing, like a fruit roll-up snack

My dick, grade-A beef
My penis is top-quality and valuable, like a premium cut of beef

Your dick, made a geek
Your penis is not impressive and has made someone a nerd or social outcast

My dick, sick and dangerous
My penis is impressive and attractive, but also potentially harmful

Your dick, quick and painless
Your penis is unimpressive and provides no real satisfaction, only a quick and painless release

My dick, 'nuff said
My penis is so impressive and well-known that no additional explanation is necessary

Your dick loves Fred
Your penis is not impressive and has a potential interest in a fictional character like Fred Flintstone

It's time that we let the world know
It is time to inform the world about our impressive penises

Dude, you gotta let your girl go
You should leave your current romantic partner because they will be unable to resist our impressive penises

D.S. is the best in the business
D.S. is the most impressive and skilled in sexual matters

P.S. we got dicks like Jesus
In addition to our other impressive qualities, our penises are also comparable to Jesus in greatness