The Worst Pies in London
Stephen Sondheim Lyrics
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Wait! What's your rush?
What's your hurry?
You gave me such a...
fright! I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't ya sit?
Sit ya down!
Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did ya come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague.
Ugh!
What is that?
But you'd think we had the plague.
From the way that people
keep avoiding!
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London.
I know why nobody cares to take them!
I should know!
I make them!
But good? No
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite! The worst pies in London!
If you doubt it take a bite!
Ugh!
Is that just, disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here drink this, you'll need it.
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat
what it is
when you get it.
Never thought I'd live to see the day.
Men'd think it was a treat
findin' poor
animals
what are dyin' in the street.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does a business, but I notice something weird.
Lately, all her neighbors cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her!
What I calls,
enterprise!
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick.
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more-
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting!
And tastes like...we'll pity.
A woman alone...with limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard.
Times is hard.
Isn't that a room up there? Over the shop?
The Worst Pies in London is a song from the musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, written by Stephen Sondheim. The song is sung by Mrs. Lovett, who runs a failing pie shop in London. The lyrics of the song reflect her despair and frustration at the lack of business, and the poor quality of her pies. When a customer walks in, she is eager to make a sale, but also expresses her surprise at having a customer after a long time. The customer expresses his disgust after taking a bite of her pies, which leads to Mrs. Lovett offering him a glass to drink. This interaction leads to Mrs. Lovett revealing the plot of the musical; that Sweeney Todd, a barber above her pie shop, is killing people and she is using their flesh in her pies.
The tone of the song is darkly humorous and satirical. Mrs. Lovett is oblivious to the seriousness of what she is doing, and instead focuses on making a profit through selling the "worst pies in London." The song is also full of irony; Mrs. Lovett, who is trying to sell pies made of human flesh, refers to her poor quality pies as "the worst pies in London" and her desperation to get a customer reveals her naiveté. The song is also an example of how Sondheim uses music to enhance the storytelling aspect of the musical, as the music shifts in tempo and key in response to the changing moods of the characters.
Line by Line Meaning
A customer!
An exclamation of surprise and joy at seeing a customer
Wait! What's your rush?
Asking the customer to slow down and wait
What's your hurry?
Asking the customer why they're in such a hurry
You gave me such a...
fright! I thought you was a ghost!
Expressing how scared she was upon seeing the customer
Half a minute, can't ya sit?
Sit ya down!
Sit!
Asking the customer to sit down and take a moment to relax
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Explaining to the customer how long it's been since she has seen a customer
Did ya come here for a pie, sir?
Asking the customer if they came to buy a pie
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague.
Apologizing for her forgetfulness
Ugh!
What is that?
Expressing disgust at the smell or sight of something
But you'd think we had the plague.
From the way that people
keep avoiding!
Commenting on the fact that no one wants to come into the pie shop
No you don't!
Correcting the customer's assumption that she tries to get people into the shop
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Explaining how she has tried to attract customers, but to no avail
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Offering the customer a drink
Mind you I can hardly blame them!
Acknowledging the reason why people avoid the pie shop
These are probably the worst pies in London.
Admitting that the pies are terrible
I know why nobody cares to take them!
I should know!
I make them!
But good? No
Admitting that she is responsible for making the terrible pies
The worst pies in London
Describing the pies as terrible
Even that's polite! The worst pies in London!
Explaining how even calling the pies terrible is a polite understatement
If you doubt it take a bite!
Ugh!
Challenging the customer to try a pie and expressing disgust at the thought
Is that just, disgusting?
You have to concede it!
Confirming that the pies are indeed disgusting and hoping the customer agrees with her
It's nothing but crusting!
Describing how the pies are nothing but crust with no filling
Here drink this, you'll need it.
Offering the customer a drink to help wash down the terrible pie
And no wonder with the price of meat
what it is
when you get it.
Explaining the reason why the pies are so bad - because they're made with cheap meat
Never thought I'd live to see the day.
Men'd think it was a treat
findin' poor
animals
what are dyin' in the street.
Expressing shock at the fact that people would eat meat from sick and dying animals
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does a business, but I notice something weird.
Lately, all her neighbors cats have disappeared.
Talking about the strange goings-on at a rival pie shop
Have to hand it to her!
What I calls,
enterprise!
Acknowledging the cleverness of the rival pie shop owner's business tactics
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Commenting on the rival shop's use of cat meat in their pies and expressing disgust at the thought
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick.
Reiterating her disgust at the rival shop's tactics and commenting on how fast cats are
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more-
Acknowledging the difficult economic times and expressing how the pies are even worse than before, with no filling except lard
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting!
And tastes like...we'll pity.
Describing how the pie looks and tastes, with no redeeming qualities
A woman alone...with limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard.
Times is hard.
Expressing how difficult it is to run a pie shop alone, especially with the terrible quality of the pies
Isn't that a room up there? Over the shop?
Asking the customer if they notice a room above the pie shop
Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Stephen Sondheim
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind