Genre not found
Artist not found
Album not found
Song not found

Couldn't Keep The Pizza Lit
Larry The Cable Guy Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

Some girl's banging on my door the other day at four o'clock in the morning. I was like, "What in the world?" You know? So I got up and let her out. Tell you what, I was madder than Janet Reno's blind date.

I met this guy a while back, looked like Shania Twain. Only a little shorter, and, uh, faces were different. I was drunk, it looked like Shania Twain. Next morning Mark Twain is laying there next to me there, he--ho, ho--she was ugly, now. I take her to Glamour Shops, get her an estimate, you know. She was--man, she was ugly right there. She had marks on her from where people had been touching her with the ten-foot poles!

I don't like Miami too much though, there's a lot of drugs and stuff. I was down there in broad daylight, car drive by, says, "You want some cocaine?"

I'm like, "No, officer."

I don't do drugs. I don't know what I'm doing. I tried smoking mushrooms once, couldn't keep the pizza lit, you know, so I quit doing that. I tell you, I was madder than a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy lake, I tell you what.

Has it ever happened to you when you make love to your girlfriend and the dog licks your hind-end?
Now that--Lord, I apologize, for talking about the dog licking my crack there, and be with the starving pygmies down there in New Guinea. Amen.

I'm trying to teach my dog safe sex but he keeps licking off the rubbers. That's funny! I don't care who you are, that's funny right there! If you don't think that's funny, you get out of here right now, 'cause. That's a good program right there. Preacher told me that joke. That's right.

Git-are-Done!

Overall Meaning

Larry the Cable Guy's song "Couldn't Keep the Pizza Lit" is a humorous recounting of some of the amusing incidents he has experienced. Firstly, Larry recounts a time when a girl was banging on his door at four in the morning. She woke him up, and he was mad about it, comparing his anger to that of Janet Reno's blind date. Larry then narrates a story about how he met what he initially thought was Shania Twain, but turned out to be an entirely different, unattractive person called Mark Twain. He adds that he took her to Glamour Shops for an estimate and even goes on to remark on some marks on her body where people touched her with ten-foot poles. Next, Larry talks about his experience with drugs in Miami and how he rejected an offer of cocaine from a passing car. He then goes on to quip about how he "smoked mushrooms" once but couldn't keep the pizza lit, so he quit doing that. Finally, Larry lightens up the tone by talking about his struggles with teaching his dog about safe sex, which leads to a funny but slightly obscene joke.


The song is full of hilarious quips and one-liners that are meant to be taken lightly and enjoyed for their humor. The lyrics are filled with inside jokes, references to pop culture, and wordplays that can only be understood by those who are familiar with American culture. The song is an excellent example of Larry the Cable Guy's brand of humor, a blend of Southern charm, witty jokes, and silly observations that speak to the audience's love of slapstick humor.


Line by Line Meaning

Some girl's banging on my door the other day at four o'clock in the morning. I was like, "What in the world?" You know? So I got up and let her out. Tell you what, I was madder than Janet Reno's blind date.
I was rudely awakened by a girl banging on my door at an ungodly hour. After reluctantly letting her out, I was angrier than Janet Reno's matchmaking experience.


I met this guy a while back, looked like Shania Twain. Only a little shorter, and, uh, faces were different. I was drunk, it looked like Shania Twain. Next morning Mark Twain is laying there next to me there, he--ho, ho--she was ugly, now. I take her to Glamour Shops, get her an estimate, you know. She was--man, she was ugly right there. She had marks on her from where people had been touching her with the ten-foot poles!
I mistakenly had a one-night stand with a person who resembled Shania Twain, but in reality, they were much uglier. I took them to a skincare clinic and realized how repulsing their marks were that seemed like they had been touched with ten-foot poles.


I don't like Miami too much though, there's a lot of drugs and stuff. I was down there in broad daylight, car drive by, says, "You want some cocaine?" I'm like, "No, officer." I don't do drugs. I don't know what I'm doing.
I dislike Miami because of the abundance of drugs in the area. Once, a passing car offered me cocaine, but I refused because I do not do drugs.


I tried smoking mushrooms once, couldn't keep the pizza lit, you know, so I quit doing that. I tell you, I was madder than a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy lake, I tell you what.
I attempted to smoke mushrooms once, but it was unsuccessful because the pizza couldn't stay lit, so I stopped trying. It made me angrier than a three-legged dog endeavoring to bury its waste on an icy lake


Has it ever happened to you when you make love to your girlfriend and the dog licks your hind-end? Now that--Lord, I apologize, for talking about the dog licking my crack there, and be with the starving pygmies down there in New Guinea. Amen.
Have you ever had sex with your girlfriend, and your pet dog licks your behind? I apologize for discussing such profanity and pray for the starving pygmies in New Guinea.


I'm trying to teach my dog safe sex but he keeps licking off the rubbers. That's funny! I don't care who you are, that's funny right there! If you don't think that's funny, you get out of here right now, 'cause. That's a good program right there. Preacher told me that joke. That's right. Git-are-Done!
I am trying to educate my dog about safe sex, but he keeps licking off the condoms. It's hilarious, and anyone who disagrees is unwelcome. This is an excellent comedy routine, and the preacher informed me of this joke. Git-er-done!




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: DANIEL WHITNEY

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

Comments from YouTube:

@shimmy451

He’s the best backwards driver in radiator springs

@Normal1855

And he's good at tractor tipping.😆

@waterdroplets1627

As soon as I click on the video it reminded me of that rusty car too in cars movie 🤣

@NChapafitteds9436

Shooooooooot

@damonculbert5853

I have watched cars over 200 times I have almost the whole movie memorized

@lucario7version2.08

And a world class spy?

29 More Replies...

@ConfusedBarbieDoll

I can't stop seeing Tow Mater in my head every time I hear him lol

@007REECE

Yep

@synthstaryoutube5446

Yep

@thesuperhammerbros9255

Same

More Comments

More Versions