Suicidal Thoughts
The Notorious B.I.G. Lyrics

Hello? Aw shit, nigga
Someone answers the phone, distressed and cursing.

What the fuck time is it, man?
The person expresses confusion about the time.

Oh goddamn, nigga
The person expresses frustration and despair.

Do you know what time it is?
The person repeats their question looking for an answer.

Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
The person is concerned and confused about the situation of their conversation partner.

Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
The person confronts their conversation partner, asking what is happening with them.

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
The person states their desire to go to hell when they die.

'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
The person sees themselves as worthless and undeserving of going to heaven.

It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
The person questions the idea of going to heaven with good people.

Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
The person expresses their preference for black clothing instead of white clothing often associated with heaven.

God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
The person imagines God punishing them harshly in the afterlife.

No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
The person envisions a strict life in the afterlife with no pleasures or relaxation.

Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
The person expresses their aversion to spending eternity with good people in a peaceful place.

Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice
The person desires to continue living a life of crime and aggression in the afterlife.

All my life I been considered as the worst
The person laments their lifelong reputation as a bad person.

Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
The person confesses to lying to and stealing from their own mother.

Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
The person lists their extensive criminal history.

I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
The person believes their own mother regrets giving birth to them.

She don't even love me like she did when I was younger
The person feels unloved and unappreciated by their own mother.

Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
The person recalls their infancy and need for sustenance from their mother.

I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
The person wonders if their death would affect their mother emotionally.

Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
The person apologizes for their mistreatment of others and their own dishonesty.

My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
The person mentions their significant other's pregnancy and their young sibling.

Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
The person questions who is responsible for the two young children but dismisses the idea that they themselves are the culprit.

I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
The person expresses their intense desire to end their own life.

Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
The person imagines shooting themselves in the head with a gun.

And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
The person envisions the violent and bloody scene of their suicide.

I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The person, still alive, expresses their suicidal thoughts and calls themselves a worthless Buddha head.

The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
The person expresses their intense stress and disbelief, and someone else offers to come over.

Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
The person reasserts their desire to commit suicide.

I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
The person feels as though they are being called to death itself.

But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
The person believes others cannot understand their pain and struggles.

You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
The person compares their situation to the character Pookie from the film New Jack City, who struggled with addiction to crack cocaine.

Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
The person acknowledges that death is final and irrevocable.

Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
The person considers dying in a similar way to the character Ramo in the film Beat Street, who died after being hit by a train.

People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
The person predicts that people at their funeral will act like they miss the deceased, but they will really be pretending.

My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
The person believes their baby mama is pretending to mourn their death and does not actually miss them.

She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
The person reveals that they had an affair with their baby mama's sister.

I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
The person feels as though they have reached their limit and are unable to communicate effectively with others.

Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
The person asks someone to contact their friend Chic and tell him that they are struggling and considering suicide.

I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
The person is tired of people lying and being dishonest with them.

Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
The person expresses their desire to stop talking and take action, potentially ending their own life.

(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)
Someone attempts to get the person's attention and bring them back to the present moment.

Please hang up, and try your call again
The call ends with an automated message advising the person to try dialing again later.

Please hang up, this is a recording
The automated message repeats, ending the song on a somber note.