Midas Gutz
Subtle Lyrics

Another missing number in the jungle
A person who was previously lost or unknown in the wilderness

turned up with nothing but a loin cloth
Arrived with barely any clothing or supplies

to protect your tender penis from what's danger and the wildlife
Only equipped with a minimal covering to shield oneself from danger and wildlife

Your human nose making the least of all scent
A person's sense of smell being weak or unaccustomed to the environment

Going dumb to the dynamics of clean air,
Unaware of the nuances and subtleties of fresh air in the jungle

bare feets cringing across the unkept forest floor
Walking barefoot on the rough terrain of the jungle

Not ten minutes ago, you had been licking brass knuckles and soaking up satelite feed
Recently engaging in violent and dangerous behavior in the media

beneath beating flash bulb blare, being crowned this year's champi'o'king
Being celebrated as a champion in a highly publicized event

Looking good bad after a beautiful thing
Appearing damaged or negative despite previous success

Big winner of the only and annual Serious Serious Guts Competition sponsored in part by the pain reliever people and the heads of music television
Coming out on top in an extreme competition sponsored by notable organizations

Yes, you and ten other tough guys slit smiles across your then perfectly sturdy stomachs, and spread your large intestines boldly out across a coated white poker table
Competing with other strong individuals to show off the strength and durability of their stomachs by laying them out on a table

The starter pistol barked, and each contestant commenced to carefully comb their own eager entrails from behind the one-way wall of mirrored eyewear
The competition began and each participant meticulously examined their exposed stomachs from behind mirrored eyewear

Everyone a hopeful breathing heavy sifting through their mortal coil with their finger tips, for the most intimidating lengths of well sculpted and primetime stomach links
Each person anxiously searched for the most impressive and well-formed stomach links

Every so often, in the name of health, an executioner capped usher struts about the gut covered table misting everyone's exposed and heaving organs with a modified and fancy water pistol In all the... all in the name of health
A person walks around spraying water on the exposed stomachs in the name of health and hygiene

As always, this years celebrity judges are only of the most incredible persuasion Charles Bronson's angry and gay only daughter, icecubed back from when he was hard and a framed 8x10 of Joe Namath's kneecaps
The celebrity judges are unique and unconventional, including the angry daughter of Charles Bronson and a picture of Joe Namath's knees

And because you won, they stitched up your open abdomen first Gave you a nice rambo knife and some choice cigarettes And cut you loose in the ozarks The question being not if, but when, you will kill for your next meal
After winning the competition, the winner was given basic medical care and some tools before being released in the wilderness where they may have to resort to hunting

In one months time, they anticipate your turning up in the lap of the Lincoln memorial wearing the stripped and cured flesh of yet another white rapper Lovers and mothers the last thing on your mind, raw and reborn in the kill
It is expected that the winner will turn up in Washington wearing the skin of another person, showing they have embraced their primal, violent nature

As the red carpet goes wild The vice magazine people serving up a hard bucket of most happening blood feeding a spit roast pig in your honor, kissing the wind, calling you boss Phantom hearts clinking half empty in the leftover and once humored still... still arrogant air
Even as they celebrate the winner, there is a sense of darkness and discomfort in the air, as they indulge in grotesque displays of blood and killing

And besides after all you'd never gone missing before (never gone missing before) (x4) Gone master. Drop the guts! (x3)
Despite the violence and savagery, the winner has never lost themselves to the wilderness before and embraces their newfound power and strength