In addition to recording his albums, Yankovic has written and starred in his own film, UHF, and his own television show, The Weird Al Show, and directed music videos for himself and other artists including Ben Folds, Hanson, the Black Crowes and The Presidents of the United States of America. He has also made guest appearances on many television shows, in addition to starring in his own Al TV specials.
Though parodies earned him his fame, Yankovic has recorded a greater number of humorous songs with original tunes. Some of these pieces are pastiches (or style parodies), where he chooses a band's entire body of work to emulate rather than any single hit, although Yankovic has many completely original pieces. Most of his albums include a medley which juxtaposes the choruses of various songs in a polka style to accordion music.
Due to his popularity, he has been credited with several songs that are not actually his. A full list of every song he has ever actually done, including the live-only songs, can be found at the Al Songs website. Similarly, a comprehensive list of songs incorrectly credited to him can be found at The Not Al Page.
In 2006, Al recorded the song "You're Pitiful". However, while James Blunt gave his blessing for the parody of his song, "You're Beautiful", Blunt's label Atlantic Records was opposed to it. Though parodies are protected legally, the issue had become "more of a political matter than a legal matter", according to Al, so he decided to not put the song on his next album. Instead, he offered it as a free download from his site.
His latest album, "Straight Outta Lynwood", was released September 26th, 2006. Its first released single, "Don't Download This Song", was made available as a free download on August 21, 2006. The animated video for the track and a link to downloadable MP3 is available at dontdownloadthissong.com. Among other tracks, the album includes parodies of Green Day, Usher, R. Kelly, and Chamillionaire. Chamillionaire's "Ridin' Dirty" is parodied as "White and Nerdy", the second released single from the new album. This single has thus far climbed as far as #9 on the Billboard Singles chart, eclipsing "Eat It" as Al's highest charting single (which went as high as #12).
Official Website: http://www.weirdal.com
FactBox Info
Members
Al Yankovic
Jon ''Bermuda'' Schwartz
Steve Jay
Jim West
Rubén Valtierra
Former Members
Rick Derringer
Ross Noble
Joe Earley
Close But No Cigar
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
And I told her, I said
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
But no cigar!
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soul mate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe dirt on DVD
Oh, no! I said
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no!
Hurray!
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
I said
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
"Weird Al" Yankovic's song Close But No Cigar is a humorous take on a man's search for the perfect woman, only to find a major flaw in each of his candidates. In the first verse, he sings about Jillian, who was "sweeter than aspartame" and "perfect in every way," except for her incorrect use of the word "infer." He couldn't put up with that kind of thing, and tells her, "you're close but no cigar." In the second verse, the singer falls for Janet, who is "the prettiest thing on the planet" with "lips like a ripe pomegranate," until he finds out that she owns a copy of the movie Joe Dirt on DVD. Again, he tells her she's close, but no cigar.
The third verse introduces Julie, who is a "world-famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist," but he rejects her because one of her earlobes is slightly larger than the other. The repetition of the phrase "close but no cigar" highlights the singer's struggle to find the perfect woman, and ultimately suggests that he may never find the perfect match.
The song plays on the idiom "close but no cigar," which means being very near to successfully achieving something but ultimately falling short. The lyrics also poke fun at the idea of a perfect partner, suggesting that flaws can be deal-breakers no matter how much you like someone.
Line by Line Meaning
Jillian was her name
The girl's name was Jillian.
She was sweeter than aspartame
She was very sweet.
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
She was a good kisser.
And after that I never was the same
His experiences with her had a lasting effect.
And I loved her even more
He loved her very much.
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
He loved her more than Marlon Brando loved souffle.
She was gorgeous, she was charming
She was beautiful and had a great personality.
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
She was perfect in every way except for one thing.
Except she was always using the word 'infer'
She kept using the wrong word.
When she obviously meant 'imply'
When she meant 'imply' instead of 'infer.'
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
Some guys would tolerate it.
But frankly, I can't imagine why
He couldn't understand why anyone would put up with it.
And I told her, I said
He told her.
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
He didn't understand her.
No, I don't think we are!
They weren't doing that.
You're close! (Close!)
She was close to what he wanted.
But no cigar!
She wasn't exactly what he wanted.
Then I met sweet young Janet
He met someone else.
Prettiest thing on the planet
She was very pretty.
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
She had a great body.
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
She had nice lips.
And I was crazy like Manson about her
He really liked her.
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
He was emotional around her.
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
She had a great smile.
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
Her smile was so bright it was hard to look at.
I thought after all these years of searching around
He thought he had finally found what he was looking for.
I'd found my soul mate finally
He thought he had found his soul mate.
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
He found out something he didn't like about her.
Of Joe dirt on DVD
She had a specific DVD that he didn't like.
Oh, no! I said
He was disappointed.
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
He didn't understand her.
No I don't think we are!
They weren't doing that.
You're close! (Close!)
She was close to what he wanted.
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
She was really close.
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
She was close.
So close!
She was really close to what he wanted.
But no cigar!
She wasn't exactly what he wanted.
Oh, yeah!
He was happy.
Oh, no!
He was unhappy.
Oh, yeah!
He was happy.
Oh, no!
He was unhappy.
Hurray!
He was celebrating.
Julie played water polo
He met someone else.
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She wore a ribbon on her shoe.
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
He was very nervous around her.
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
His heart was pounding.
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She was perfect.
She moved right up to number one on my list
She was at the top of his list.
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
She was rich and famous.
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
She had unique interests.
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
She was very pretty.
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
She was much prettier than Charlize Theron.
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
She had one minor flaw.
Was just a little tiny bit too big
Her earlobe was slightly too big.
I said
He said.
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
He didn't understand her.
No I don't think we are!
They weren't doing that.
You're close! (Close!)
She was close to what he wanted.
So very, very close! (Close!)
She was very close.
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
She was close.
So close!
She was really close to what he wanted.
But no cigar!
She wasn't exactly what he wanted.
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
He was very close.
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
He was disappointed.
Really, really, really close!
She was really close.
But no cigar!
She wasn't exactly what he wanted.
Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
The_Arman´s Corner
LYRICS:
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
And I told her, I said
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
But no cigar!
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soul mate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe dirt on DVD
Oh, no! I said
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no!
Hurray!
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
I said
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
Ash★Convoy
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
And I told her, I said
"Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
But no cigar!"
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Momma Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soulmate finally
But one day I found OUT she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD
Oh, no! I said
"Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, no!)
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, no!)
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, no!)
(ALL RIGHT!)
[Hand claps, trumpet solo]
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to #1 on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionare
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
I said
"Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close! (No cigar!)
But no cigar!
chad wyman
Since no one will do it.....
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
And I told her, I said
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
But no cigar!
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soul mate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe dirt on DVD
Oh, no! I said
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no!
Hurray!
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
I said
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
nigel kun
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin' in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradisepunched a tourist even if he deserved itAn Amish with a 'tude?You know that's unheard ofI never wear buttons but I got a cool hatAnd my homies agree I really look good in black, foolIf you come to visit, you'll be bored to tearsWe haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 yearsBut we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stareWe're just technologically impairedThere's no phone, no lights, no motorcarNot a single luxuryLike Robinson CrusoeIt's as primitive as can beWe been spending most our livesLivin' in an Amish paradiseWe're just plain and simple guysLivin' in an Amish paradiseThere's no time for sin and viceLivin' in an Amish paradiseWe don't fight, we all play niceLivin' in an Amish paradiseHitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butterRaised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anotherThink you're really righteous?Think you're pure in heart?Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou artI'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be likeOn my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlafterlifeSo don't be vain and don't be whinyOr else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinieWe been spending most our livesLivin' in an Amish paradiseWe're all crazy MennonitesLivin' in an Amish paradiseThere's no cops or traffic lightsLivin' in an Amish paradiseBut you'd probably think it bitesLivin' in an Amish paradise
aev . EXE
The fact that this hasn’t been age restricted yet is a miracle
SavantArcade
Or rather... a sin
AmmoniteFossil
That's the magic of Weird Al vids
xav biggz
This and tenacious D's classico,
noit
this shit had me vibing and traumatized as a kid at the same time
Ussr
Duh
Jasmine Lav.
I always liked how Julie was self-confident enough to not really care when he tried to tear her down about a minor flaw.
Ian New Yasha
@Maggie Manic and since being a bikini supermodel astrophysicist is government work, “almost” counts and is therefore close enough to be entitled to a cigar from Weird Al
Maggie Manic
@Ian New Yasha I mean, in a sort of way, it is. The government funds NASA and a lot of its programs and has authority to control most operations. Being an astrophysicist means you'd probably work at a facility like this or at least at a university while doing research, but educational institutes are also government funded, so either way, it's not like being an astrophysicist isn't a career where the government wouldn't have an interest in you.
Ian New Yasha
@Jason Wu being a bikini model astrophysicist must be considered “government work”