Headline News
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics
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Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
And when he finally came back
He had cane marks all over his bottom
He said that it was from when
The warden whacked it so hard
Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm, ah
Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
And when she finally made it
She saw some other girl who was better
And so she hired some guy to
Club her in the kneecap
Mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
Ah, mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
They got paid for their sound bites
And sold their TV movie rights
And then, there was this guy who
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his wiener
And when he finally came to
He found that Mr. Happy was missing
He couldn't quite explain it
It'd always just been there
Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
(There were, there is)
(There were, there is)
"Weird Al" Yankovic's song Headline News is a satirical commentary on the sensationalist culture of news media. The song tells three bizarre news stories, each with its own version of the refrain "Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm, ah." The first story is about a kid who traveled to Singapore with spray paint and was caned by the authorities. The second story is about a figure skater who hires someone to injure her competition, and the third story is about a man whose wife cut off his penis. Throughout the song, "Weird Al" highlights the absurdity of these stories, as well as the media's obsession with them.
The first story mocks the international news coverage of Michael Fay, an 18-year-old American who was caned in Singapore in 1994 for vandalism. The second story is a play on the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan scandal, in which Harding's ex-husband hired someone to injure Kerrigan before the 1994 Winter Olympics. The third story is a reference to John and Lorena Bobbitt, whose case dominated the news in 1993 when Lorena cut off John's penis. By presenting these stories through a catchy, poppy melody and repetitive chorus, "Weird Al" calls attention to how we consume and sensationalize news.
Line by Line Meaning
Once, there was this kid who
I know a story about a young person
Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
He went to Singapore and brought spray paint with him
And when he finally came back
When he returned home
He had cane marks all over his bottom
He had been beaten with a cane on his buttocks
He said that it was from when
He said that the beating occurred because
The warden whacked it so hard
The prison warden hit him very hard
Once there was this girl who
I also know a story about a young woman
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
She was determined to become a champion figure skater
And when she finally made it
When she achieved her goal
She saw some other girl who was better
She encountered another skater who was more skilled
And so she hired some guy to
She paid a man to
Club her in the kneecap
Hit her in the knee with a blunt object
They got paid for their sound bites
They received money for recording their opinions or catchphrases
And sold their TV movie rights
They sold the rights to adapt their story for television or film
And then, there was this guy who
I have another story to tell, this time about a man
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his wiener
He angered his wife so much that she cut off his penis
And when he finally came to
When he woke up or regained consciousness
He found that Mr. Happy was missing
He discovered that his penis was gone
He couldn't quite explain it
He was unable to understand why it happened
It'd always just been there
He had always had a penis
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Some events happened in the past
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Some events are happening currently
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Some events happened in the past
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Some events are happening currently
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Some events happened in the past
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Some events are happening currently
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Some events happened in the past
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Some events are happening currently
Lyrics Ā© Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: BRAD ROBERTS, WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@dawndipierro373
There have been a few actors, actresses and singers who got me through hard times especially this past week BUT I have to say that Weird Al got me through them the best way.
Making me laugh with his interviews and songs/music videos.
I grew up with Alās music and no matter how old or new the songs are, he/they still crack me up.
I keep telling my Aunt Colleen and my cousins Amanda and Casey that Uncle Rich (my aunts husband and my cousins father) looked like Weird Al in a lot of his older photos. Especially in this video with the long straight hair (yes, I know Alās hair is naturally curly but he did straighten it for this video) and the glasses.
My uncle passed away two years ago but when he was still with us, I used to tell him the same thing when I saw them. He used to get āmadā about it because he didnāt know what I was talking about SOOOO I had to show him this video and he FINALLY agreed with me.
God, I miss him. So much. He was the joke cracking uncle. Always had a joke for everything. No matter if it was good, great, amazing, wonderful, bad, horrible or terrible news. He knew how to lighten the mood.
@bigbadbovine
One of the few songs where the parody is less weird and the lyrics make more sense than the original.
@jimwerther
Brilliant!
@joinmarch76
Well-put, and the best part, these stories were actually true! The second and third in particular are talking about the infamous scandals involving Tonya Harding and Lorena Bobbitt. Oh, and before y'all feel too bad for the guy in question, turns out he was a sexist numbnuts, so while cruel and unusual...what Lorena did wasn't exactly unprovoked, at least not completely.
@jimwerther
@@joinmarch76
There is no defense for what Lorena Bobbitt did. But yeah, they were both creeps, and she is nuts as well.
@joinmarch76
@@jimwerther Fair enough, I still consider it cruel and unusual punishment.
@jimwerther
@@joinmarch76
What do you consider cruel and unusual punishment? What Lorena did to John? If so, we agree.
@Swoll826
Weird Al should be recognized for:
1.) His Musical playing skills
2.) His vocal performances
3.) His lyrical writing skills
4.) Sense of humor
5.) Skill to parody several genres
6.) Music Video ideas and creation
7.) Ability to deliver on a timely schedule as it relates to the song and topic he is covering/parodying
@Pentarax
His band deserves massive props too, especially if you've seen them live. The way they can seamlessly leap from replicating Nirvana's sound to performing Lady Gaga before bouncing over to Queen takes an amazing amount of talent.
@chadmcmullen4064
8.) His mastery of hand-fart sounds, applied melodically.
@aleandicho
his vocal range is also amazing.