The music of $uicideBoy$ varies between different sub-genres of rap; while some songs have melancholy tones with lyrical content that focuses on subjects such as depression and suicidal ideation (topics not widely exposed in rap music), others are wildly aggressive, with themes of violence and sexual content. Some of their music is based around life growing up in New Orleans; song titles such as Audubon, Tulane, Elysian Fields and St. Bernard reflect streets and neighborhoods that influenced the life of Arceneaux and Petrou. A large portion of their music focuses on depression and its symptoms, an angle not often received in mainstream hip hop; Arceneaux elaborated on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, stating, “A lot of people take it as emo, or depressed music, or negative music... it’s really just connecting. It’s therapy, through music". Excluding occasional guest producers, the entirety of Suicideboys' discography is self-produced, mainly by Arceneaux under his pseudonym Budd Dwyer (an homage to the former politician of the same name).
$crim was born Scott Arceneaux Jr. on April 11, 1989 in Marrero, Louisiana. Arceneaux originally was inspired by T-Pain and Kanye West to produce music, buying his first laptop which he used to start DJing with money gained from selling drugs. Arceneaux's passion for DJing extended when he started to attend Delgado Community College, where he was hired to DJ parties. He also worked selling used furniture, getting fired for his new hand tattoos after three years.
Ruby da Cherry was born Aristos Petrou (Αρίστος Πέτρου) on April 22, 1990 to an American mother and Greek Cypriot father. Raised in Metairie, Louisiana, Petrou's interest in music began when he was seven, playing violin and then drums when he was ten, eventually joining bands in middle school. He worked at his father's restaurant as a waiter, a job he held until 2015. His experience with the punk rock scene continued as he joined the band Vapo-Rats as its drummer; however, disillusioned with the apathy his bandmates showed towards the future of the band, Petrou left in order to pursue a career in hip-hop with Arceneaux.
Arceneaux and Petrou are cousins, and as such shared a close relationship growing up. Realising that both were interested in taking a musical career seriously, and both dissatisfied with the direction of their lives, the two formed Suicideboys, making a pact that if their musical career didn’t work out, they would both commit suicide. Elaborating on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, Arceneaux states that, “it was pretty much like cutting the hand, bleeding, and making a pact that there’s no plan B, that if this doesn’t happen by the time we’re 30, I’m blowing my head off”.
The duo's first project together, a three-track EP named Kill Yourself Part I: The $uicide $aga, was released in June 2014 on SoundCloud and Bandcamp, attracting attention for their collaboration with notable underground rapper Bones. In the following months, the duo released a further nine iterations of the Kill Yourself series. After a number of collaboration EPs with fellow underground artist Black Smurf, their first full length project titled Gray/Grey was released on March 3, 2015.
Suicideboys' underground breakthrough came with the release of 2015 EP $outh $ide $uicide, a collaboration with established South Florida rapper Pouya, which thrust the duo into the underground rap spotlight. Other 2015 releases include 7th or St. Tammany, YUNGDEATHLILLIFE, High Tide in the Snake's Nest, Grey Sheep EP, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part I and II), My Liver Will Handle What My Heart Can't, Now The Moon's Rising and G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S. with fellow g59 rapper RAMIREZ.
The duo's first foray onto the mainstream musical charts came with the release of Radical $uicide in the summer of 2016. The five-track EP, produced by EDM musician Getter, peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Rap charts. Other 2016 releases include Dark Side of the Clouds, Grey Sheep II, Eternal Grey, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part III), G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S.I.I. with [artis]RAMIREZ, DIRTYNASTY$UICIDE with GERM, and Black $uicide Side C with Black Smurf.
In 2017 the boys released another 10 iterations of the Kill Yourself series, they also dropped DIRTIERNASTIER$UICIDE, with GERM.
On September 7, 2018, their debut studio album I Want to Die in New Orleans was released. A statement posted by the duo's official Instagram account stated, "We started recording this album in the beginning of 2017. Initially we wanted to write about our experiences on the road and express how our lives had become slightly more extravagant."
In late 2018, a rumor arose that the group had broken up following a series of ominous tweets. However, they soon clarified that the tweets were in relation to "personal issues" facing Arceneaux, and that they had in fact not broken up.
Long Gone
$uicideboy$ Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Smacked, smacked, I'm 'bout to make a toast
Raise the glass to a room full of all my dead friends' ghosts
They loudly shouting, poundin' fists
Yelling, "Yo, is this a joke?"
You vowed to quit, renounce the shit
Bitch, you tryna overdose?
I, I looked up and stared at a table with empty chairs
Ain't prepared for my betrayal's consequences
Broke a promise and I get it, I'm a failure, I'm a fuck up
Yet I'm unapologetic
Save me from this hell, let me rest in peace
Save me from this hell, let me rest in peace
Save me from this hell (another death shy)
Let me rest in peace (raise your head up high)
Save me from this hell (people said they ride)
Let me rest in peace ('cause when it's your time)
Save me from this hell (it's too late, you can't rewind)
Let me rest in peace (we live only to die)
Save me from this hell (we live only to die)
Let me rest in peace
Long gone, gone
Gone, gone, gone
I've been long gone
Look for the soul in my eyes, and you see none
Broken down to my last over my own blood
Woke up on the worst side of the bed and ain't wanna to get out, ouch
I can only speak about the shit that I'm thinking about
I'm worried 'bout my crippled mother and father
My maw-maw and her liver, Lenny almost no longer living
And lil' brothers I can't even begin better lives
Still not right, I'm still wrong, got my will done, I'm long gone
Save me from this hell (another death shy)
Let me rest in peace (raise your head up high)
Save me from this hell (people said they ride)
Let me rest in peace ('cause when it's your time)
Save me from this hell (it's too late, you can't rewind)
Let me rest in peace (we live only to die)
Save me from this hell (we live only to die)
Let me rest in peace
Save me from this hell, let me rest in peace
In their song "Long Gone," the $uicideboy$ explore their struggles with addiction and the consequences of their actions. They start off with a description of their drug use and the ghosts of their dead friends and how they feel like they are watching them. The chorus then repeats the plea: "Save me from this hell, let me rest in peace." The next verse shows how their addiction has affected their relationships with their family, and they feel helpless in fixing it. However, they recognize that they are long gone and accept their fate. Overall, the song is a dark and honest portrayal of the struggles of addiction and the hopelessness that can follow.
Line by Line Meaning
Back on the fucking dope
I am addicted to drugs again
Smacked, smacked, I'm 'bout to make a toast
I am high and about to celebrate my addiction
Raise the glass to a room full of all my dead friends' ghosts
I am surrounded by memories of all my friends who died from drug use
They loudly shouting, poundin' fists
The ghosts are celebrating with me
Yelling, 'Yo, is this a joke?'
The ghosts are questioning whether I am really happy in this situation.
You vowed to quit, renounce the shit
I promised to quit my addiction
Bitch, you tryna overdose?
But now I am risking overdosing
I, I looked up and stared at a table with empty chairs
I am alone and everyone who could have helped me is gone
I ain't able to move, I'm scared this is fatal
I am too scared to take control of my addiction
Ain't prepared for my betrayal's consequences
I know that breaking my promise to quit will have consequences
Broke a promise and I get it, I'm a failure, I'm a fuck up
I failed to quit and now I feel like a failure and a disappointment
Yet I'm unapologetic
But I am not sorry for my actions
Long gone, gone
I am lost, far from recovery
Gone, gone, gone
I am completely lost, with no way out
I've been long gone
I have been trapped in my addiction for a long time
Look for the soul in my eyes, and you see none
My addiction has left me empty and without a soul
Broken down to my last over my own blood
My addiction has caused me to lose everything, even my own blood (family)
Woke up on the worst side of the bed and ain't wanna to get out, ouch
I woke up feeling terrible and did not want to face the day
I can only speak about the shit that I'm thinking about
All I can think about is my addiction and my problems
I'm worried 'bout my crippled mother and father
I am worried about the health and well-being of my disabled parents
My maw-maw and her liver, Lenny almost no longer living
I am also worried about my grandmother's liver and my sick friend Lenny
And lil' brothers I can't even begin better lives
I am unable to help my younger brothers improve their lives
Still not right, I'm still wrong, got my will done, I'm long gone
Despite my attempts to change, I am still trapped in my addiction and feel like I will never recover
Save me from this hell, let me rest in peace
I am pleading for help to escape my addiction and find peace
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Aristos Petrou, Scott Arceneaux
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Analena Hosack
on For The Last Time
life is hard. i am a 14 y/o struggling with depression. i don't want attention. i don't want anything, i just want to feel better. $uicideboy$ music is the only thing that i can very much relate to, they speak words that i am too afraid to speak. i live in a household of people who don't give a fuck about my mental health. they don't take my words into consideration, so whats the point of going on..."Fuck, I don't see what's the point of going on, no"-...and to those i love, thanks for sticking around. it may sound stupid or cliche that i used that lyric but its true. I'm going through so much and as of right now my life is shit i might be put into a foster home because the legal guardian i am living with dose not want to deal with me anymore. i just want to be back with my biological dad...my bio mom is fighting for custody of me and my twin sister but she abused us for 8 years of our life, "Don't wanna do it again got shit i'm not tryna relive." i have the choice to live with my mom but whats the point there's shit i'm not tryna relive, i'm not tryna be abused again...that's me digging my own grave...literally. but anyways i wanted to say that people who are clinically depressed aren't looking for attention when they post comments about there depression, they just don't know who to speak to about it or maybe they have no one to talk to about it....so think about that next time your going to be mean to someone who is simply trying to get some help. i know I've learned from that mistake because i know so many kids who think its cute, quirky or just simply fun to claim that they are depressed, and those are the people who i'm not okay with because they don't really know how it feels to be so goddamn sad all the fucking time. I've tried committing suicide twice already, and i just simply don't know what to do anymore.