The music of $uicideBoy$ varies between different sub-genres of rap; while some songs have melancholy tones with lyrical content that focuses on subjects such as depression and suicidal ideation (topics not widely exposed in rap music), others are wildly aggressive, with themes of violence and sexual content. Some of their music is based around life growing up in New Orleans; song titles such as Audubon, Tulane, Elysian Fields and St. Bernard reflect streets and neighborhoods that influenced the life of Arceneaux and Petrou. A large portion of their music focuses on depression and its symptoms, an angle not often received in mainstream hip hop; Arceneaux elaborated on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, stating, โA lot of people take it as emo, or depressed music, or negative music... itโs really just connecting. Itโs therapy, through music". Excluding occasional guest producers, the entirety of Suicideboys' discography is self-produced, mainly by Arceneaux under his pseudonym Budd Dwyer (an homage to the former politician of the same name).
$crim was born Scott Arceneaux Jr. on April 11, 1989 in Marrero, Louisiana. Arceneaux originally was inspired by T-Pain and Kanye West to produce music, buying his first laptop which he used to start DJing with money gained from selling drugs. Arceneaux's passion for DJing extended when he started to attend Delgado Community College, where he was hired to DJ parties. He also worked selling used furniture, getting fired for his new hand tattoos after three years.
Ruby da Cherry was born Aristos Petrou (ฮฯฮฏฯฯฮฟฯ ฮ ฮญฯฯฮฟฯ ) on April 22, 1990 to an American mother and Greek Cypriot father. Raised in Metairie, Louisiana, Petrou's interest in music began when he was seven, playing violin and then drums when he was ten, eventually joining bands in middle school. He worked at his father's restaurant as a waiter, a job he held until 2015. His experience with the punk rock scene continued as he joined the band Vapo-Rats as its drummer; however, disillusioned with the apathy his bandmates showed towards the future of the band, Petrou left in order to pursue a career in hip-hop with Arceneaux.
Arceneaux and Petrou are cousins, and as such shared a close relationship growing up. Realising that both were interested in taking a musical career seriously, and both dissatisfied with the direction of their lives, the two formed Suicideboys, making a pact that if their musical career didnโt work out, they would both commit suicide. Elaborating on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, Arceneaux states that, โit was pretty much like cutting the hand, bleeding, and making a pact that thereโs no plan B, that if this doesnโt happen by the time weโre 30, Iโm blowing my head offโ.
The duo's first project together, a three-track EP named Kill Yourself Part I: The $uicide $aga, was released in June 2014 on SoundCloud and Bandcamp, attracting attention for their collaboration with notable underground rapper Bones. In the following months, the duo released a further nine iterations of the Kill Yourself series. After a number of collaboration EPs with fellow underground artist Black Smurf, their first full length project titled Gray/Grey was released on March 3, 2015.
Suicideboys' underground breakthrough came with the release of 2015 EP $outh $ide $uicide, a collaboration with established South Florida rapper Pouya, which thrust the duo into the underground rap spotlight. Other 2015 releases include 7th or St. Tammany, YUNGDEATHLILLIFE, High Tide in the Snake's Nest, Grey Sheep EP, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part I and II), My Liver Will Handle What My Heart Can't, Now The Moon's Rising and G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S. with fellow g59 rapper RAMIREZ.
The duo's first foray onto the mainstream musical charts came with the release of Radical $uicide in the summer of 2016. The five-track EP, produced by EDM musician Getter, peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Rap charts. Other 2016 releases include Dark Side of the Clouds, Grey Sheep II, Eternal Grey, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part III), G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S.I.I. with [artis]RAMIREZ, DIRTYNASTY$UICIDE with GERM, and Black $uicide Side C with Black Smurf.
In 2017 the boys released another 10 iterations of the Kill Yourself series, they also dropped DIRTIERNASTIER$UICIDE, with GERM.
On September 7, 2018, their debut studio album I Want to Die in New Orleans was released. A statement posted by the duo's official Instagram account stated, "We started recording this album in the beginning of 2017. Initially we wanted to write about our experiences on the road and express how our lives had become slightly more extravagant."
In late 2018, a rumor arose that the group had broken up following a series of ominous tweets. However, they soon clarified that the tweets were in relation to "personal issues" facing Arceneaux, and that they had in fact not broken up.
The Number You Have Dialed Is Not in Service
$uicideboy$ Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
You mighta thought I was playin'
A part in the art I've created
But most of the words reflect what's happened
Or what is waitin' to start happenin'
I keep on damagin' myself
Tryna fill the void with all this water round my neck
I'm 'bout to drip until I drown
I taste the drip, that shit's so sour
All these cars that I bought
Either don't start or they got impounded
Pursued the American dream
The nightmare's what I doubted
Catch a flight to London or I'll catch I flight to Lyon
Show my face in public, show another one at home
See my name on the marquee, letters fallin' down
Litterin' a cold dark street somewhere downtown
As soon as I reached cloud nine it started stormin'
Heavy thunderstorms in every city that I'm tourin'
Life ain't like a rap video, that's just a warnin'
Hopin' to see the sun when I wake up in the mornin'
All this misery, misery, misery, fuck
Look at my history, no mystery
Where I might end up, just shut up
Don't wanna hear it, it's my decision
May be my last wish so just please listen (not in service)
So long, it's been torture bein' here
So cold, gettin' high but now I cope with fear
Same song and I'm sick of singin' it
Let me move on, it's for my benefit
But one come all to my downfall
Bear witness to everything that I can't solve
My therapist made me promise before I end it all
That her phone would be the one I choose to call, cryin', askin'
Is it really worth it?
What's beneath the surface or behind the curtain?
Really don't think I wanna take this any further
Made one last attempt to figure out my purpose
I called her phone, it said, "Not in service"
When life gets hard (get's hard)
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
Even if the finish line is far
Or you have to push the car (push the car)
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
When life gets hard (get's hard)
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
Even if the finish line is far
Or you have to push the car (push the car)
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
$uicideboy$'s song "The Number You Have Dialed Is Not in Service" is a poignant portrayal of the depressive thoughts and feelings that can engulf someone's mind. The lyrics are introspective and provide an insight into the situation that many people face on their lives where they feel isolated and hopeless. The opening line, "I'm fallin' apart" sets the tone for the song and it is clear that the singer is struggling with their own identity and their place in the world.
The line, "All these cars that I bought, either don't start or they got impounded" is a metaphor for the singer's life. Everything they have, doesn't work or has been taken away from them. They feel that they have been pursuing the American dream but have reached a nightmare instead. The chorus "When life gets hard (get's hard), keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)" provides a moment of hope in the song. It encourages individuals to keep going even in the face of adversity.
The singer ultimately decides to call their therapist before ending it all, but the therapist's phone went out of service. This ending leaves the listener to wonder if they did go through with it, what the real consequences of their decisions are. Overall, the song is a reflection on the struggles of life and the importance of seeking help when needed.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm fallin' apart
I cannot handle my emotions and mental state
You mighta thought I was playin'
My struggles might seem like a joke to others
A part in the art I've created
My music is a reflection of my experiences and emotions
But most of the words reflect what's happened
My lyrics are based on my past experiences and current struggles
Or what is waitin' to start happenin'
I fear what the future holds
I keep on damagin' myself
I continue to harm myself mentally and physically
Tryna fill the void with all this water round my neck
I'm trying to cope with my problems using drugs and alcohol
I'm 'bout to drip until I drown
My drug use is getting out of control and may lead to my downfall
All these drugs up in my nose
I'm addicted to drugs and it's affecting my health
I taste the drip, that shit's so sour
The taste of drugs is unpleasant
All these cars that I bought
I have material possessions, but they are useless
Either don't start or they got impounded
My possessions are falling apart and being taken away
Pursued the American dream
I chased the idea of success and wealth
The nightmare's what I doubted
The reality of the American Dream is not what I expected
Catch a flight to London or I'll catch I flight to Lyon
I'm constantly traveling, but it doesn't bring me happiness
Show my face in public, show another one at home
I'm living a double life and hiding my true self
See my name on the marquee, letters fallin' down
I see my name in lights, but it doesn't bring me satisfaction
Litterin' a cold dark street somewhere downtown
My fame and fortune have led me to a lonely and dark place
As soon as I reached cloud nine it started stormin'
When I experience happiness, it is immediately followed by sadness
Heavy thunderstorms in every city that I'm tourin'
My problems follow me no matter where I go
Life ain't like a rap video, that's just a warnin'
Life is not as glamorous as it seems in music videos
Hopin' to see the sun when I wake up in the mornin'
I'm hoping for a better tomorrow
All this misery, misery, misery, fuck
My life is full of pain and I'm fed up with it
Look at my history, no mystery
My problems are a result of my past experiences
Where I might end up, just shut up
I'm unsure of what the future holds and I don't want to hear pessimistic comments
Don't wanna hear it, it's my decision
I don't need someone else telling me how to live my life
May be my last wish so just please listen (not in service)
I may be suicidal and am calling out for help, but it may be too late
So long, it's been torture bein' here
My life has been a painful experience
So cold, gettin' high but now I cope with fear
I used to cope with my problems using drugs, but now I'm scared
Same song and I'm sick of singin' it
I'm tired of living the same repetitive life
Let me move on, it's for my benefit
Moving on from my problems is the only way to improve my life
But one come all to my downfall
Everyone is watching and waiting for me to fail
Bear witness to everything that I can't solve
Everyone is aware of my problems, but I can't fix them
My therapist made me promise before I end it all
I'm seeing a therapist and they made me promise to call them before attempting suicide
That her phone would be the one I choose to call, cryin', askin'
I will call my therapist in a moment of desperation
Is it really worth it?
My suicidal thoughts are making me question the value of life
What's beneath the surface or behind the curtain?
I want to understand the root of my problems
Really don't think I wanna take this any further
I'm on the brink of giving up on life
Made one last attempt to figure out my purpose
I'm trying to find meaning in my life before giving up
I called her phone, it said, "Not in service"
My therapist is not there to help me and I feel helpless
When life gets hard (get's hard)
When life gets difficult
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
Keep moving forward
Even if the finish line is far
Even if the end goal is far away
Or you have to push the car (push the car)
Even if it takes a lot of effort
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
Keep moving forward
When life gets hard (get's hard)
When life gets difficult
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
Keep moving forward
Even if the finish line is far
Even if the end goal is far away
Or you have to push the car (push the car)
Even if it takes a lot of effort
Keep on marchin' on (keep on marchin' on)
Keep moving forward
Lyrics ยฉ Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Aristos Petrou, Scott Arceneaux
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@losoflow1955
Fallin' apart
You might've thought I was playing a part in the art I've created
But most of the words reflect what's happened or what is waiting to start happenin'
I keep on damagin' myself, tryna fill the void
With all this water 'round my neck, I'm 'bout to drip until I drown
All these drugs up in my nose, I taste the drip, that shit's so sour
All these cars that I bought either don't start or they got impounded
Pursue the American dream, the nightmare's what I doubted
Catch a flight to London or I'll catch a flight to Lyon
Show my face in public, show another one at home
See my name on the marquee, letters falling down
Littering a cold dark street somewhere downtown
Soon as I reached cloud nine, it started stormin'
Heavy thunderstorms in every city that I'm tourin'
Life ain't like a rap video, that's just a warnin'
Hopin' to see the sun when I wake up in the mornin'Verse 2: Hearse Boy]
All this misery, misery, misery, fuck
Look at my history, no mystery where I might end up, just shut up
Don't wanna hear it, it's my decision
May be my last words so just please listen
So long, it's been torture bein' here
So gone, getting high been how I cope with fear
Same song and I'm sick of singin' it
Let me move on, it's for my benefit
But come one, come all to my downfall
Bear witness to everything that I can't solve
My therapist made me promise before I end it all
That her phone would be the one I choose to call, crying, asking
"Is it really worth it?
What's beneath the surface or behind the curtain?"
Really don't think I wanna take this any further
Made one last attempt to figure out my purpose
I called her phone, it said not in service
[Outro: Hearse Boy & Raindrop Walka]
When life gets hard (Gets hard)
Keep on marchin' on (Keep on marchin' on)
Even if the finish line is far or you have to push the car (Push the car)
Keep on marchin' on (Keep on marchin' on, not in service)
When life gets hard (Gets hard)
Keep on marchin' on (Keep on marchin' on)
Even if the finish line is far or you have to push the car (Push the car)
Keep on marchin' on (Keep on marchin' on)
@Nexxxzz
"Show my face in public, show another one at home."
God damn ruby. The feels man.
@bezly8867
This is so relatable
@_xddxda2627
@@bezly8867 TRUE
@triciavasquez6374
Oh I heard it felt it too.
@2341bossman
I canโt like this bc it has 777 likes
@legs3061
@@2341bossman feel that no one better like dis shit
@ultimateash1197
I got chills when Ruby and Scrim were singing at the end
@fuziontonygaming
I knew I wasnโt the only one
@markandraiguadalupe138
I knew i wasn't the only one
@sophiethescarecrow
I knew I wasnโt the only one