The music of $uicideBoy$ varies between different sub-genres of rap; while some songs have melancholy tones with lyrical content that focuses on subjects such as depression and suicidal ideation (topics not widely exposed in rap music), others are wildly aggressive, with themes of violence and sexual content. Some of their music is based around life growing up in New Orleans; song titles such as Audubon, Tulane, Elysian Fields and St. Bernard reflect streets and neighborhoods that influenced the life of Arceneaux and Petrou. A large portion of their music focuses on depression and its symptoms, an angle not often received in mainstream hip hop; Arceneaux elaborated on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, stating, “A lot of people take it as emo, or depressed music, or negative music... it’s really just connecting. It’s therapy, through music". Excluding occasional guest producers, the entirety of Suicideboys' discography is self-produced, mainly by Arceneaux under his pseudonym Budd Dwyer (an homage to the former politician of the same name).
$crim was born Scott Arceneaux Jr. on April 11, 1989 in Marrero, Louisiana. Arceneaux originally was inspired by T-Pain and Kanye West to produce music, buying his first laptop which he used to start DJing with money gained from selling drugs. Arceneaux's passion for DJing extended when he started to attend Delgado Community College, where he was hired to DJ parties. He also worked selling used furniture, getting fired for his new hand tattoos after three years.
Ruby da Cherry was born Aristos Petrou (Αρίστος Πέτρου) on April 22, 1990 to an American mother and Greek Cypriot father. Raised in Metairie, Louisiana, Petrou's interest in music began when he was seven, playing violin and then drums when he was ten, eventually joining bands in middle school. He worked at his father's restaurant as a waiter, a job he held until 2015. His experience with the punk rock scene continued as he joined the band Vapo-Rats as its drummer; however, disillusioned with the apathy his bandmates showed towards the future of the band, Petrou left in order to pursue a career in hip-hop with Arceneaux.
Arceneaux and Petrou are cousins, and as such shared a close relationship growing up. Realising that both were interested in taking a musical career seriously, and both dissatisfied with the direction of their lives, the two formed Suicideboys, making a pact that if their musical career didn’t work out, they would both commit suicide. Elaborating on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, Arceneaux states that, “it was pretty much like cutting the hand, bleeding, and making a pact that there’s no plan B, that if this doesn’t happen by the time we’re 30, I’m blowing my head off”.
The duo's first project together, a three-track EP named Kill Yourself Part I: The $uicide $aga, was released in June 2014 on SoundCloud and Bandcamp, attracting attention for their collaboration with notable underground rapper Bones. In the following months, the duo released a further nine iterations of the Kill Yourself series. After a number of collaboration EPs with fellow underground artist Black Smurf, their first full length project titled Gray/Grey was released on March 3, 2015.
Suicideboys' underground breakthrough came with the release of 2015 EP $outh $ide $uicide, a collaboration with established South Florida rapper Pouya, which thrust the duo into the underground rap spotlight. Other 2015 releases include 7th or St. Tammany, YUNGDEATHLILLIFE, High Tide in the Snake's Nest, Grey Sheep EP, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part I and II), My Liver Will Handle What My Heart Can't, Now The Moon's Rising and G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S. with fellow g59 rapper RAMIREZ.
The duo's first foray onto the mainstream musical charts came with the release of Radical $uicide in the summer of 2016. The five-track EP, produced by EDM musician Getter, peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Rap charts. Other 2016 releases include Dark Side of the Clouds, Grey Sheep II, Eternal Grey, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part III), G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S.I.I. with [artis]RAMIREZ, DIRTYNASTY$UICIDE with GERM, and Black $uicide Side C with Black Smurf.
In 2017 the boys released another 10 iterations of the Kill Yourself series, they also dropped DIRTIERNASTIER$UICIDE, with GERM.
On September 7, 2018, their debut studio album I Want to Die in New Orleans was released. A statement posted by the duo's official Instagram account stated, "We started recording this album in the beginning of 2017. Initially we wanted to write about our experiences on the road and express how our lives had become slightly more extravagant."
In late 2018, a rumor arose that the group had broken up following a series of ominous tweets. However, they soon clarified that the tweets were in relation to "personal issues" facing Arceneaux, and that they had in fact not broken up.
sleep walk
$uicideboy$ Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I don't float, 'cause I'm wearing too much gold 'round my throat
Look at me glow
Can't even see out my eyes anymore
Hood up, and I'm ready to go
Slicin' my way, bitch, I'm icing my chain
Let it cool off, because it just came out the flame
Insane is the claim, and yeah, chaos the click
Catch me a fuckboy, and give him to $lick
He's so used to this shit
Yeah, he know a good spot
Right around 666 o'clock, got another drop
So I flock to the dock, tie a fucking knot
Flyswat in your body rotting in the fuckin' yacht
Got to mop up the slop, to get rid of the snow
'Cause that's what bring the cops
Spraying that Tommy all over your cell
And now $lick keep on asking me
"How do you spell, 'Welcome to Hell'?"
I told him, "go kill yourself!"
Then I threw his body in the motherfucking swell
(Then I threw his body in the motherfucking swell)
Uh
Yung Slenderman, get the cash when I can
Got a pint for the low, and a bag of them xans
Lo-fi shawty, come and die for me
Shoot a motherfucker, I'm that Tommy-gripping Tony
Yung Camcorder, I'm a internet explorer
Die for fun, getting high off of torture
$witchblade $crim, smokin' on hemp
Every time I sold a bag, you know that motherfucker skimp
Posted in the cut, hoe
Smoke a hunnid blunts, hoe
Very simple living, bitch
Give a fuck about gettin' rich
When I didn't have plays you wasn't on my dick
Now a playa gettin' big, you all on my shit
Mark of Satan, triple six
Getting dope sick when I don't have drugs
Yung white boy with one gold slug
Suicide dreams like Kurt Cobain
When I teach a lesson, that Glock go bang
No servin' a purpose
Get pussy for free when I know that you purchase
Bitch, I'm for certain
Murk a motherfucker, now that's closed curtains
$uicideboy$'s "Sleep Walk" is a song with self-destructive lyrics. The song lyrics are about a man who seems to have given up on life, and his reality has become an endless cycle of drug use, violence, and death. The opening line, "I be at the bottom of the ocean, on the floor; I don't float," is a metaphor for the deep depression and hopelessness he feels. He's wearing too much gold around his neck, which is weighing him down, and he can't see a way out of his situation. The line "Let it cool off, because it just came out the flame" is a reference to his chain iced and is still burning hot, needs to cool off. The chorus is him telling himself, and maybe others, that he's ready to go to the underworld and face whatever comes after this life.
The rest of the song describes how he's violent, dealing drugs, doesn't care about getting rich, and has suicidal tendencies. There's even a line where he tells $lick, his collaborator, to kill himself. There's an underlying theme of death and the fear or resignation that comes with it. The final line, "Murk a motherfucker, now that's closed curtains," is a final statement about his willingness to kill someone and let the curtains close on their life.
Line by Line Meaning
I be at the bottom of the ocean, on the floor
I'm feeling really down and hopeless, like I've sunk to the very bottom
I don't float, 'cause I'm wearing too much gold 'round my throat
I feel burdened by my wealth and success, like it's actually holding me down
Look at me glow
Despite my struggles, I'm still putting on a show and trying to impress others
Can't even see out my eyes anymore
I feel like my problems are blinding me, and I can't see a way out
Hood up, and I'm ready to go
I'm in a defensive and guarded state, prepared to face any challenges or threats
Slicin' my way, bitch, I'm icing my chain
I'm trying to cut through my problems and find some relief, even if it's a temporary escape
Let it cool off, because it just came out the flame
I need to take a step back and calm down before I make any rash decisions or act impulsively
Insane is the claim, and yeah, chaos the click
I know I'm not thinking rationally or logically, and the people I'm associating with aren't helping
Lay off my style, bitch, go lay in a ditch
Stop copying me or trying to bring me down, because you'll only end up hurting yourself
Catch me a fuckboy, and give him to $lick
I'm so angry and fed up that I want to take out my frustrations on someone else, even if it's not fair or justified
He's so used to this shit
The person I want to hurt has probably been targeted before, and might even expect it from me
Yeah, he know a good spot
The target already knows where to go or what to do to avoid getting caught, because they've been through this before
Right around 666 o'clock, got another drop
I'm so caught up in my anger and aggression that I'm not even thinking clearly or making sense
So I flock to the dock, tie a fucking knot
I'm too focused on my violent intentions to consider the potential consequences or risk to myself and others
Flyswat in your body rotting in the fuckin' yacht
I don't care if someone dies or gets hurt as a result of my actions, because I'm so consumed by my own anger and pain
Got to mop up the slop, to get rid of the snow
I need to cover up my tracks and try to erase any evidence of my wrongdoing, to avoid getting caught or being held accountable
'Cause that's what bring the cops
I'm aware that my actions could have consequences or repercussions, but I'm too impulsive or reckless to care
Spraying that Tommy all over your cell
I'm using violence and intimidation to try to establish dominance or control over someone else, even if it's not justified or necessary
And now $lick keep on asking me
My friend is concerned or confused about my behavior, and is trying to make sense of it
"How do you spell, 'Welcome to Hell'?"
My friend is trying to understand what's driving me to act so recklessly or violently, and what I hope to gain from it
I told him, "go kill yourself!"
I'm so consumed by my own anger and pain that I'm lashing out at the people closest to me, even if they're trying to help
Then I threw his body in the motherfucking swell
I'm not thinking rationally or logically, and I'm willing to hurt or even kill someone who cares about me just to prove a point
Yung Slenderman, get the cash when I can
I'm focused on acquiring money and material possessions, even if it means putting myself or others in danger
Got a pint for the low, and a bag of them xans
I'm using drugs and alcohol to try to escape my problems and feel better, even if it's only temporary relief
Lo-fi shawty, come and die for me
I'm so consumed by my own pain and despair that I'm willing to drag others down with me, even if it means hurting them in the process
Shoot a motherfucker, I'm that Tommy-gripping Tony
I'm using violence and intimidation to try to establish dominance or control over others, even if it's not justified or necessary
Yung Camcorder, I'm a internet explorer
I'm trying to escape my problems and find a sense of purpose or meaning online, through social media or other outlets
Die for fun, getting high off of torture
I'm so hurt and angry that I'm seeking out ways to inflict pain and suffering on others, just to feel some sense of power or control
$witchblade $crim, smokin' on hemp
I'm using drugs and other vices to try to escape my problems and feel better, even if it means causing harm to myself or others
Every time I sold a bag, you know that motherfucker skimp
I'm engaging in shady or illegal activities to make money, even if it means cheating or screwing over others
Posted in the cut, hoe
I'm hiding away and isolating myself from others, just to avoid dealing with my problems or facing my responsibilities
Smoke a hunnid blunts, hoe
I'm using drugs and other vices to try to escape my problems and numb myself to the pain and suffering I'm experiencing
Very simple living, bitch
I'm living a modest and unassuming life, despite my wealth and success, because I don't want to draw attention to myself or my problems
Give a fuck about gettin' rich
I don't care about money or material possessions, because I'm too consumed by my own pain and despair to appreciate them
When I didn't have plays you wasn't on my dick
I'm resentful and angry at those who didn't support me or show interest in my work when I was struggling or unknown
Now a playa gettin' big, you all on my shit
I'm frustrated and annoyed that people are suddenly showing interest in me and trying to be part of my success, when they didn't care before
Mark of Satan, triple six
I feel like I'm cursed or doomed, and that nothing I do will ever succeed or bring me happiness
Getting dope sick when I don't have drugs
I rely on drugs and other vices to cope with my problems and feel better, and I experience withdrawal and discomfort when I don't have access to them
Yung white boy with one gold slug
I'm trying to prove myself and establish my own identity, even if it means resorting to violence or other reckless behavior
Suicide dreams like Kurt Cobain
I'm struggling with thoughts of suicide and despair, and I look up to figures like Kurt Cobain who experienced similar struggles
When I teach a lesson, that Glock go bang
I use violence and intimidation to try to teach others a lesson and establish dominance or control
No servin' a purpose
I feel like I have no direction or meaning in life, and that nothing I do will ever matter or have an impact
Get pussy for free when I know that you purchase
I'm using my wealth and status to take advantage of others, even if it means exploiting them or causing them pain
Bitch, I'm for certain
I'm confident and assured in my own abilities and decisions, even if they're not always the right or moral choice
Murk a motherfucker, now that's closed curtains
I'm trying to establish my own power and dominance, even if it means hurting or even killing others in the process
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Scott Arceneaux, Aristos Petrou
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Analena Hosack
on For The Last Time
life is hard. i am a 14 y/o struggling with depression. i don't want attention. i don't want anything, i just want to feel better. $uicideboy$ music is the only thing that i can very much relate to, they speak words that i am too afraid to speak. i live in a household of people who don't give a fuck about my mental health. they don't take my words into consideration, so whats the point of going on..."Fuck, I don't see what's the point of going on, no"-...and to those i love, thanks for sticking around. it may sound stupid or cliche that i used that lyric but its true. I'm going through so much and as of right now my life is shit i might be put into a foster home because the legal guardian i am living with dose not want to deal with me anymore. i just want to be back with my biological dad...my bio mom is fighting for custody of me and my twin sister but she abused us for 8 years of our life, "Don't wanna do it again got shit i'm not tryna relive." i have the choice to live with my mom but whats the point there's shit i'm not tryna relive, i'm not tryna be abused again...that's me digging my own grave...literally. but anyways i wanted to say that people who are clinically depressed aren't looking for attention when they post comments about there depression, they just don't know who to speak to about it or maybe they have no one to talk to about it....so think about that next time your going to be mean to someone who is simply trying to get some help. i know I've learned from that mistake because i know so many kids who think its cute, quirky or just simply fun to claim that they are depressed, and those are the people who i'm not okay with because they don't really know how it feels to be so goddamn sad all the fucking time. I've tried committing suicide twice already, and i just simply don't know what to do anymore.