Яд
Лиза Садриева Lyrics

The lyrics of Лиза Садриева's song "Яд" delve deep into the complexities of identity and emotional turmoil in the context of a complicated relationship. The repetition of phrases like "Я бы была собой, но я не могу" (I would be myself, but I can't) emphasizes a struggle with self-identity and the pressures of conformity. The singer feels stifled, as if external factors and emotional entanglements prevent her from expressing her true self. This could reflect the societal expectations or personal insecurities that inhibit one's authenticity, highlighting an internal conflict between one’s desires and fears. Alongside, the repetitive "не хочу" (I don’t want) expresses a conscious resistance, suggesting that while there might be a temptation to pursue intimacy or connection, the singer recognizes that engaging in a relationship could compromise her sense of self.

As the song progresses, the singer shifts focus to seeking answers within the other person, proclaiming "Я ищу, я в тебе ищу ответ" (I am looking for answers in you). This line hints at a deep dependence on the partner for clarity and direction, which can be both a source of vulnerability and emotional weight. In looking to someone else for validation or understanding, the singer may inadvertently give away her autonomy, while also expressing a longing for connection amid feelings of confusion. The quest for answers can be both hopeful and disillusioning, reflecting the apparent inconsistency in relationships where one person seeks solace in another, yet often finds themselves lost amid emotional chaos.

The notion of keeping secrets is pivotal in the next set of lines, where the singer expresses difficulty in maintaining these hidden truths, in "Мне так сложно хранить секреты" (It is so hard for me to keep secrets). Here, secrets symbolize the hidden aspects of oneself and the complexities of the relationship that weigh heavily on her. There's an underlying fear of discovery, as the singer worries that the partner might learn something pivotal about her, which could lead to feelings of vulnerability or betrayal. This tension builds to the proclamation that within the other person, she has only found "ад" (hell), suggesting that her search for understanding and connection has only led to emotional pain and turmoil instead of solace.

By the end of the song, the singer reflects on her partner's "сказочные ответы" (fairy tale answers) that mask a more toxic reality, encapsulated in the phrase "в существе своём просто яд" (in your being, there is just poison). This powerful metaphor underscores the duality of the relationship: what seems beautiful or enchanting on the surface (the fairy tale) is actually harmful and destructive (the poison). The imagery conveys a sense of betrayal and heartbreak, as the singer confronts the realization that the dependency she felt led to disillusionment. Ultimately, the song captures the emotional complexities of love and the pursuit of self within relationships that can both empower and suffocate, leaving the listener to ponder the cost of seeking connection at the expense of one's own identity.