Hand Over Mouth
A Lot Like Birds Lyrics

I wish I could, but I can't rest as easy as you.
I envy your peace of mind, but I can never experience the same level of comfort as you do.

I never really could anyway.
In reality, I never had the privilege of simply being carefree like you.

And thoughts of the future make me worry.
I am anxious about what lies ahead and cannot help but be concerned about it.

Heart, settle down!
I am trying to calm my racing heart and ease my nerves.

This isn't your last day.
I am reminding myself that tomorrow is a new day and things will be alright.

You'll wake up tomorrow.
I am reassuring myself that I will indeed wake up the next day.

This bedroom never gets to see the light of day.
This room is always dark, and no sunlight ever enters it.

The shades are always drawn completely.
The curtains in this room are always closed shut, allowing no light to enter.

And it only ever seems to come alive at night.
The room only feels lively and active during nighttime.

I took you here to take you from yourself once.
I brought you to this room to help you escape from your troubles for a brief moment.

And you smiled at me.
At that time, you were happy and content, and that made me happy too.

You smiled shamelessly and often then.
You were so genuinely happy that you didn't care who saw it, and you kept smiling.

But it wasn't enough.
Despite your smile and joy, it wasn't enough to dim my worries and fear.

I read your thoughts like sifting through your cabinets while you were out of the room.
I went through your thoughts as though I was rummaging through your belongings in your absence.

I stole every treasured thought that you had and left you gutted when I could find no more.
I took away your most cherished thoughts and ideas until there was nothing left, making you feel empty inside.

You had poems written on the roof of your mouth.
You had beautiful poetry inside you that you never shared with anyone.

And I had scraped them out with the tip of my tongue and spat them onto the floor,
I forcibly removed those poems from inside you and discarded them.

Where they dried up and blew away.
Those poems were left out in the open and, over time, disappeared.

And the butterflies in your stomach were all pinned to the skin on the inside.
Your nervousness and apprehension were visibly stuck within you and palpable.

And if didn't love you then, I love you now.
Back then, I may not have had romantic feelings for you, but I do now.

But it's easy to love something when there's pain in its eyes.
I may have developed feelings for you because I can empathize with your struggles.

So I pull the shades back, let the light pour in through every crack I slammed into the window.
I am opening the windows to let light into the previously dark room.

Will the good parts stay in limbo?
I am worried that the good moments will not last.

Why can I only remember when you said you'd love me better if I left?
I can only recall the times when you made comments about our relationship ending.

And not the way you said, a thousand times, that if I left you'd die?
For some reason, I can't remember you saying countless times that you'd be devastated if we separated.