Internet Relationships (Are No
A Physician Lyrics

Internet relationships are not real
Internet relationships are fake and cannot replace real-life interactions.

Your heart, people steal but identities conceal
People on the internet can steal your heart and emotions, but they hide their true identities and intentions.

So here's a tale of warning for girls and boys
The song is giving a warning to everyone, regardless of gender.

Laptop computers can be dangerous toys
Laptops can be used to deceive and mislead people to dangerous situations.

In the chat room, I inspect
The artist is exploring a chat room, looking for someone to talk to.

Who's here tonight? ASL check
Asking who is in the chat room, and their age, sex, and location (ASL).

I'm 20/F from the UK
The singer is pretending to be a 20-year-old female from the United Kingdom.

Send me an I'm and I'll make your day
Encouraging someone to message them and offering to make their day better.

I'm twenty-two and my name is Daryl
The artist is pretending to be a 22-year-old male named Daryl.

Nice to meet you, Daryl, my name is Carol
The other person introduces themselves as Carol and is friendly towards Daryl.

What do you like Carol? I like to go to shows
Daryl is asking Carol about her interests, and she responds with liking to go to shows.

I collect comic books and vintage clothes
Carol shares more about her interests and hobbies.

What do you like? I like to skate
Carol asks Daryl about his interests, and he responds with liking to skate.

I play rock guitar but I'm not that great
Daryl shares more about his interests and his skill level at playing guitar.

I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late
Daryl shares more personal information about his habits.

I live in San Francisco and hangin' on the Haight
Daryl shares his location with Carol and says where he likes to hang out.

Do you like the Golden Gate? I did when I was eight
Daryl asks Carol about her opinion on the Golden Gate Bridge, but Carol says that she liked it when she was younger.

Maybe I can come and visit? Maybe you should wait
Daryl suggests visiting Carol, but she tells him to wait.

See, I'm really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife
Carol reveals that she has lied about her age, and she has familial responsibilities and relationships.

I weigh three hundred pounds and I hate my life
Carol shares more personal information, including her weight and negative emotions.

Are you serious? Yes, well, I've got a secret too
Daryl reacts to Carol's revelation, and teases that he has a secret as well.

I'm not twenty, I'm really thirty-two
Daryl admits to Carol that he has lied about his age.

I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue
Daryl reveals more about himself, but his secrets are not as shocking as Carol's.

You lied to me, Carol. Well, you lied to me too
Both characters acknowledge that they have lied to each other and that their online relationship is built on deceit.

Bob went on MySpace for hours a day
The song introduces a new character named Bob, who is addicted to using MySpace.

Talking to girls from Moscow to L.A.
Bob is talking to many girls from all around the world using MySpace.

But people can surprise you from behind a screen
People on the internet can be completely different than what they seem online.

Hi, I'm Susie, I like your profile
Bob meets a girl named Susie online, who compliments his MySpace profile.

I checked out your pics and I like your style
Susie has looked at pictures of Bob and likes his appearance.

Sounds good, Susie, I'll be your friend
Bob agrees to be Susie's friend.

We can write each other again and again
Bob and Susie plan to continue talking to each other online.

Comment on my pics and post on my page
Susie asks Bob to interact with her MySpace profile by leaving comments and posts.

Join my groups and guess my age
Susie invites Bob to join groups on MySpace and guess her age.

You must be eighteen, how could you not?
Susie assumes that Bob is over 18 years old based on their conversations.

You can't be in high school, you're just too hot
Susie comments on Bob's physical appearance and assumes he cannot be in high school because of it.

Let me send you pics for your personal collection
Susie offers to send Bob pictures of herself to keep for personal use.

I hope they inspire you and give you a smile
Susie wants the pictures to make Bob happy and provide motivation.

Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene
Susie sends Bob inappropriate pictures, which could be considered obscene and illegal.

Cops showed up at his door, she was only sixteen
The consequences of Susie sending inappropriate pictures led to legal trouble for Bob, as Susie was underage.

If you don't believe, us here's a final story
The song offers one last story to make its point about online relationships.

About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lorie
The song introduces two new characters who form an online relationship.

Behind the monitor truth is hidden from your eyes
Online, people can hide their true selves and intentions.

Marcus didn't know but he was in for a surprise
Marcus is unaware of what is about to happen to him regarding his online relationship.

We've been dating for a while but let's cut to the chase
Lorie wants to move their online relationship to the next level and see who Marcus really is.

I don't know what you look like and I wanna see your face
Lorie wants to know what Marcus looks like, as she has only seen pictures of him online.

But what does it matter? You know who I am inside
Marcus is hesitant to reveal his true appearance, but Lorie assures him that it does not matter to her.

What if you're not a woman and this whole time you lied?
Marcus realizes that Lorie might not be who she says she is, and could be stringing him along.

You got me there, I'm not really a female
Lorie admits to Marcus that she has lied about her gender.

I'm a guy who pretends to be a girl through email
Lorie reveals that she has been deceiving Marcus by pretending to be a girl online.

So this is why it's bad to meet women online
The song concludes by stating why it is dangerous and bad to form online relationships with people you do not know.

Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time
Living your life entirely behind a computer screen is not fulfilling or meaningful.

Check online relationships
The song encourages listeners to think critically about their online relationships and the dangers associated with them.

Internet girl, Internet relationship
Referring to the dangers and secrets of forming online relationships with strangers.

Fresh, [Incomprehensible] physician
The song is a fresh and new perspective on the phenomenon of online relationships.

[Incomprehensible] MC Lars
MC Lars is a collaborator on the song, adding his own perspective and voice to the lyrics.

Online relationships, online relationships
The chorus repeats one last time, reminding listeners of the song's main message.