Agony of Defeat is a midwest band from Iowa. Their music consists of a wid… Read Full Bio ↴Agony of Defeat is a midwest band from Iowa. Their music consists of a wide spectrum of sound from hard driving riffs to melodious hooks, with vocals that range from the screaming demon that rages inside to the harmonious catalyst of emotions. Agony of Defeat is: Eric Verdulla on Vocals/ Elick Verdulla Guitar / Derek (Hutch) Hutchinson Drums/ Kyle (Tiny) Kolker Bass Guitar/ Rickey (Marley) Marks Guitar

40 Watts to Freedom
Agony of Defeat Lyrics

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I've been holding this back for so long
It's all over so tired of looking over my shoulders
What you say what you say
Is a mistake every day I pray that I don't break
Liar is what you say to me
A new disease that I can't defeat
Liar this is fate everything will break
You're alive--alive here in me

You're alive--alive here in me
It's alright I said I'm sorry a thousand times before
It's alright I can see you crawling
Broken down on the floor
Giving inside don't deny
What you feel for me
Everything is alright
I'm still breathing life is deceiving
These addictions are killing me
Why you betray all
Every word that you say is ok
It never meant anything
And I've been waiting for so long
Never come back home
You're alive--alive here in me
I have these questions with no answers
They're buried inside of me

I have no reason that I can give you
It's inside but I'm still breaking

Overall Meaning

The song "40 Watts to Freedom" by Agony of Defeat is about a person who has been holding back their emotions for a long time. The lyrics suggest that they have been living in fear, always looking over their shoulders. The person is tired of living like this and wants to confront the issue that has been holding them back. However, they feel that the other person who is involved in the situation is a liar and has betrayed them. The singer talks about the pain they have been feeling, saying that it's like a new disease they can't defeat. They have been waiting for so long to get answers to their questions, but there are no answers to be found. The person is struggling with addiction, something that is slowly killing them, and they can't control it.

The chorus talks about how the other person is still alive in the singer, even though they have betrayed them. The person's actions have left a mark on the singer, and they can't seem to forget the pain. The singer apologizes for what they have done, but they don't seem to be effective. They can see the other person crawling on the floor, broken down from the weight of the situation. The singer talks about how everything is alright, but they don't seem to believe it. They are still breathing, but their life is deceiving them. They don't have any reasons or answers for the situation they are in, and they feel like they are still breaking.

Line by Line Meaning

I've been holding this back for so long
I've kept my emotions and thoughts to myself for a while now.

It's all over so tired of looking over my shoulders
I'm done with whatever has been bothering me and worried about the consequences or aftermath of it.

What you say what you say Is a mistake every day I pray that I don't break
I fear losing control and being hurt by your words, but I try to hold on to myself and avoid breaking.

Liar is what you say to me A new disease that I can't defeat Liar this is fate everything will break
Your lies have become a part of me and made me weak. Accepting their inevitability, I know that everything will eventually fall apart.

You're alive--alive here in me You're alive--alive here in me
Although I resent you, I can't deny that you still hold some presence in my life and heart.

It's alright I said I'm sorry a thousand times before It's alright I can see you crawling Broken down on the floor
I've apologized many times, but you still suffer from the wounds I've caused. It's sad and painful to watch you in this state.

Giving inside don't deny What you feel for me Everything is alright I'm still breathing life is deceiving
Please share your emotions with me, and don't pretend like everything is okay. I'm still alive and trying to deal with life's challenges, but it's not always easy.

These addictions are killing me Why you betray all Every word that you say is ok It never meant anything
My struggles with addiction are overwhelming, and your constant betrayals only make things worse. Your hollow words of reassurance have no real value.

And I've been waiting for so long Never come back home
I've been longing for your return for a while now, but it seems unlikely that you'll come back to me.

I have these questions with no answers They're buried inside of me I have no reason that I can give you It's inside but I'm still breaking
I'm grappling with deep, unanswered questions, and I don't know how to express or resolve them. I can't explain my conflicting emotions, which are still taking a toll on me.

Contributed by Olivia M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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