Alan Gordon Partridge is a fictional character portrayed by English comedia… Read Full Bio ↴Alan Gordon Partridge is a fictional character portrayed by English comedian Steve Coogan. Two radio, three television and one Youtube series – as well as several TV and radio specials, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief – have tracked this spoof television and radio presenter through his career.
Alan has recently released his ("very thorough") autobiography, "I, Partridge: We Need to Talk about Alan"; available in hardback, paperback and unabridged audiobook, read by the man himself.

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Alan Attraction
Alan Partridge Lyrics

No lyrics text found for this track.

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

Comments from YouTube:

Craig Sullivan

4y↑27

Asking for sex through a just barely opened door. The epitome of smooth. It never fails with the wife.

Cocaine Rain

7y↑596

best chat up line ever "i know a cracking owl sanctuary"

M S

I love how it’s supposed to be Valentine’s Day but it’s clearly mid summer

jimgall ufos

@Nick Bishop Ironic that i actually DO know a cracking owl sanctuary,but no on believes me.Please help the owls.

marcus monk

Stoneham barns owl sanctuary about 10miles from Norwich is indeed cracking

Emma Willmer

4y↑1

I agree

Nick Bishop

4y↑8

This quote is among a bunch of quotes painted on the wall in the Norwich branch of Waterstones. I kid you not. Aha!

8 More Replies...

Bhodisatvas

6y↑111

"The mind plays tricks" gives such an insight into the way Alan's thoughts are so warped, brilliant!

soundseeker63

2y↑1

At the time it made him seem "warped". In 2022 it would be a legitimate question with any number of possible outcome! 😆

Fur Q

3y↑2

@PyramidSchema he was trying to watch Driving Mrs Daisy !

The Rt. Hon. The Lord Nicholson of Arnage

4y↑2

@PyramidSchema Fascinating creatures

Hu Mann

4y↑3

It's beautiful in hindsight as we know he eventually has a breakdown. Little lines like this are genius; they give a glance of what's to come.

PyramidSchema

4y↑11

He doesn't find them attractive...
just... confusing.

Macho Fantastico

4y↑58

"Jill you're so dirty" Probably my all time favourite AP line.

Sean Donoghue

5y↑226

They've gone too Longstanton Spice Museum.

One of the best lines of all time.

JD

3y↑1

@Hu Mann JET!

Paul Hunt

@WillBrownPT longstratton

Robert j Smith

4y↑1

@WillBrownPT Its actualy in Swaff-ham

Hu Mann

4y↑17

@WillBrownPT
Alan in to his dictaphone "Idea for program: We follow WillBrownPT around Longstanton as he quests to find the legendary Spice Museum. Co-presented with Jet from Gladiators. Working title is Of Spice and Men "

4 More Replies...

Zulu Romeo

7y↑218

They say Lynn is still out there keeping the engine running.

TuTru

3y↑1

They would've driven to the owl sanctuary so she was probably dismissed

rebmcr

3y↑9

"I was just doing what you s-"

"LYNN YOU'VE STARVED THE FUEL PUMP"

Ben Joyce

4y↑22

@3:22 literally has me in tears 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 "eurrrrrrrrrrrgh, Jill you are so dirty"

Splatted Splatbang

6y↑27

Actually, you would probably call it a big tool. That deserved a much bigger laugh!!😂😂😂😂😂😂

G W

6y↑1

Absolutely 👍👍👍

[Dark Autumn 3D]

3y↑35

"Are you just flirting in a sort of crude way that middle aged divorcees do?" lol.

Samuel Noble

4y↑16

There’s no way that the Longstanton spice museum line can be as funny as it is.

Fur Q

3y↑1

It's perfect and I try to use it as much as possible.

Callum Boscoe

3y↑2

Best character ever. Don’t think he’s this good on this time but no one has ever brought me so many laughs.

p4cks

4y↑24

when it cuts to the owl at the end, gets me every time

Lloyd Howell

4y↑85

'I prefer fingers'
'chocolate ones'?
'don't mind really'
' OOOOEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR' 😂

jamie morrison

6y↑224

Coogan is in Turbo Partridge mode here, fckn great

Luke McLellan

@jamie morrison I was referring to the rumours that Alan was partaking the powder ☺️

jamie morrison

@Luke McLellan good for you

Luke McLellan

I think turbo partridge came in the second season ❄️

Alex Krycek

Lovely stuff

jonny bgood

Haha well said

1 More Replies...

Lanny C

3y↑6

I wonder if the owl at the end was emitting a pellet! 🤣

Cougarsamurai

6y↑52

That Owl at the end rocked it. Owlen Partridge - back of the net!

Abbas Zaidi

4y↑1

Thriker!

Visionist

Cashback!

TheTaterTotP80

6y↑27

Honestly, how is shopping better than an owl sanctuary? Animals are amazing.

Moebius

3y↑1

@M0jibake LMAO

M0jibake

4y↑2

Moebius pipe of Pringles and some sparkling wine will suffice

Moebius

4y↑1

I feel it depends on what you’re shopping for.

If it’s for a brand new Ferrari, I’m going to say that beats the owl sanctuary.

Stylus80

8y↑23

One of my favourite episodes from series 1.

Aquatic Pears

4y↑16

The way he hides behind the crack in the door and uses it as a breakwater

KristianTV1974

3y↑2

And it was his choice!

mmmyeah7bro

4y↑5

I always find that a fried breakfast makes an excellent aphrodisiac

Edward Ashford

3y↑15

That's clearly a push-lever fire door, yet it opens inwards? Doesn't Alan fear the Health and Safety Executive coming down on him like a ton of bricks? (Albeit, slowly lowered onto him with a sound joist and gin system in place and competently supervised by a Category C1 licensed professional in accordance with the Lifting Operations and Lifting Equipment Regulations 1998.)

Andy harpist

3y↑4

Yes. I have opened up a case on the HSE Hotline. I fear the circular staircase is marginal also.

JPaulC

5y↑69

I can't watch the "Do you like our owl?" scene in Blade Runner without thinking of Alan Partridge.

Rodiraskal

4y↑3

Felice Graziano But then again, who does?

Alex

4y↑3

Homicide of a mouse

Visionist

4y↑3

It's too bad she won't live

Kev Shearer

4y↑4

is this test to prove if im a replicant or a lesbian mr deckard

Si Hopebgood

5y↑6

OH NO! Now I'll always think of that too! Cheers mate grr/lol

Shughy

A peak performance there, such a classic bit of British comedy

Mercian

2y↑2

There was a receptionist at my school who was exactly like Jill, I swear the headmaster was smashing.

Andrew Morrice

5y↑3

Alan's right of course. I'd rather see owls than go shopping. Unless of course, we go shopping FOR owls.

Harry Burrows

4y↑8

Jill is a brilliant actor

David Hammond

4y↑3

Shoot your chuff though the door... classic.... 😂😂😂

Daz Ediss

2y↑2

The last 5 seconds of this video is perhaps the greatest editing of all time.

Tz 6

3y↑11

This is Matt Hancock , ooh Gina ,you're nicer than my wife.

Aaron Gorton

6y↑1

BEST SCENE EVER BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS BIT FOR AGES NOTHING BEATS THIS CLIP

Mrs Hamster

An owl sanctuary would be the bestest date ever!

Deformed nut Sack

3y↑1

Death by firing squad then walks of leaving Jill dumbfounded 😂😂

Gildas Grime

3y↑3

Dear Lord, 4 minutes of genius

Hammbro

7y↑40

I've just seen Jill on Holby City. Doesn't look any different 😂

Shaun Patrick O'Jameson

4y↑5

This scene put Longstanton Spice Museum on the map.

Shaun Patrick O'Jameson

@Papa Shango it was on google maps when I wrote the comment. Some humourless editor has removed it!

Papa Shango

Except it doesn't exist, so it kinda didn't

DAVID BLURTON

5y↑3

i think partridge is as good as anything else written,,

Tom Stuart

7y↑59

'Could go shopping'...'SCREECH'

Anthony O'Neill

7y↑127

I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me

J MG

A very C. Montgomery Burns style line

Aaron Gorton

lol

Selinor578

6y↑3

you got a glimpse of the fire escape ladder outside the building as AP was saying those words. I thought you were going to see them all descending the ladder as he was telling them they couldn't use the fire escape.

Rodiraskal

“Your mind plays tricks” 😂

Cougarsamurai

6y↑36

Sadly I've taken my wife to 'a cracking owl sanctuary'.

DaGleese

@suburbia1950 How couldn't it?

suburbia1950

4y↑1

So it worked then?

Cougarsamurai

@shut beak oops sorry. Xxx

archduke8199

4y↑2

That’s a relief 😂

Chase's Tan's Biggest Fan 🌞

6y↑58

"Shoot your chuff through that door"

Raaloteph Inscorcies

7y↑41

I learn to play from the master. "ooo you are soo diiirty".

Evan Jones

5y↑3

A few years later, David Brent in The Office said "Women... are... dirty..."
-maybe he was right..!

Tillie

6y↑33

Ooooooooh. She’s nicer than my wife

Tokyo Joe

7y↑18

The only time an owl has ever been funny

Synthesizer Patel

5y↑2

Owls are always funny.

placid renegade

4y↑2

That's a relief! My mind plays tricks! Loool

Bartholomew Lyons

4y↑12

“Norwich is our oyster”)))) ahahaaa

A. Tanner

4y↑3

I’m eating a pipe of Pringles as I watch this.

RargoFC19

I’m eating a crescent of crisps with a scotch egg.

Adam Kelloway

4y↑1

Amazing Actor he is

cj the acid junkie

6y↑5

"Im batman!" lol!

TheMorphEx Shorts

3y↑2

“Could go shopping?”

“SKWARK”

Simon Moore

4y↑2

“Bash your arse!” 😄

F Hurley

6y↑3

Oooh she’s nicer than my wife

Grant Campbell

4y↑3

When chocolate bars were proper sized.

aaloo69

5y↑1

Owl sanctuary 😂

Andrew Griffin

6y↑2

Oh your so dirty!!classic lol

Noname 1st

"Oh Jill you are so dirty, 'snarl'"

Stephen Ian Thomson

6y↑1

Perfect comedy

Stephen Dines

The clue is in the question.

ren hoek

I always fancied Jill when I watched this, and my opinion has not changed one iota

bonkey dollocks

4y↑1

Still could resite all the words and I haven't seen it for donkeys years

Aaron Gorton

6y↑1

IM BATMANNN AND START THE CAR LYNN rofl too funny

Chris Burton

Apparently they are going to open the Longstanton spice museum my friend has done a custom-made red telephone box for them

Frank Spencer

4y↑2

You've even got it on the valance.

Deeeeezz nuggets

8y↑97

I'M BATMAN!

Ola G

5y↑6

"Norwich is our Oyster" Hahah yaay! :D

KOLLUSION Transistor Funk - Topic

4y↑5

3:02 "Your a tiger... Roarrrr!" - Gareth Cheeseman.

cheekyegg

Goodbye Dad. I mean Mr Crown

Cryptonomatron

5y↑1

They've... gone... to... Longstanton spice museum.

Felix Cornelius

I'm sacking you
Consider your self sacked
You're a sacked man

Simon Moore

5y↑10

"Bash yer arse!"

henry black

7y↑15

I've locked you all in so you dont get me

MOLE

5y↑2

Longstanten spice museum is the place to be

Ant_uk

3y↑2

Your listening to up with the partridge.... ahh haaa 😂😂

Laurence von Winkenburger

Get your arses down to the Spice Museum....in Long Stanton

Aaron Gorton

best part of series classivc lol

Urban Survivor

5y↑1

Strange way for a fire exit door
to open

Core-Nix

Interesting that the only one he didn't fire face-to-face was the black/mixed guy.
Do you think that was intentional?

Djaay

3y↑1

We could go shopping... KWAAH!

Mrs Hamster

Your mind plays tricks 😄

Guyver Jay

3y↑1

Decent bod for an old bat

Stan Gosling

She is Mary on the radio phone ins
"Are you hairy Mary?"

Martin Howser

6y↑49

Jill does have a nice pair

Tz 6

Ooh Jill , you have a cracking pair

ren hoek

Fat808 me too

Fat808

3y↑4

i’d give her a right good seeing too!

MOLE

5y↑5

Martin Howser agreed

Peter Parker

4y↑5

Fancied Julia Deakin ever since I watched Space.

omp199

4y↑1

You want to put in the "d".

Because it's "Spaced". That's the name of the sitcom. What did you think I meant?

bigjaffa02

4y↑7

2:53 i spy a camera poking in from the right

Fegsta Chops

Yes I saw it , lol

The Great God Pan

"Your mind plays tricks"

8 bit gamer

6y↑11

Pure Alpha!

Steve Dawson

5y↑1

'I'm Batman!'

nightw4tchman

7y↑241

"Sexwise"

Marvin Lewis

6y↑5

Only one funnier.lynn I've impaled my foot on a spike.

Richard Cook

3y↑1

I want you to go down to Sol Dangerfield's casting agency and ask them to get me a forty year old scorcher.....and do use that word

Mr. Buchstansangur

Every line from Alan partridge is infinitely quotable.

Robert Richardson

Get your arses down to the spice museum

Adam Massacre

4y↑1

youve got chocolate mouse on ya face...aye wey youve missed a bit...

Michael Smith

😂

Dj

5y↑2

Jill... Do you like owls?.....

Theo Volz

I always assumed they cast a dopey woman to play a dopey character, but I’ve seen her in other stuff and she’s clearly a good actress and not thick.

Joe Dent

... perhaps not to a terminally dopey thick-o.

McSuperfly

“She was only 16!”

soundseeker63

2y↑4

"Well you know" you're a man, I'm a woman"
No longer a given in 2022 😆

Michael Johnson

I love the idea that someone thinks this changed.

Billybear23

Your mind plays tricks...

D D.

What's the opening line...."Bast yer arse"?

broombroomstick'em pahpahstick'em

6y↑8

Who the heck buys original Pringles?

Lee Croft

My wife does... I know ?

Caroline G

5y↑2

I think Alan would, he's a traditionalist by nature. Pedantic.

Andrew Tucker

6y↑3

You can down a whole tube of plain. Try doing that with Sour Cream

broombroomstick'em pahpahstick'em

6y↑2

But you could get BBQ, prawn cocktail, cheese and chive, salsa ham and cheese etc. But you and Alan choose plain?

LAnonHubbard

6y↑4

They're 1/2 price at Tesco at the moment, so me!

Paul McCluskey

I’m Batman!

Mr Thomas

Leave those tights on Jill 🤩

David Barry

I followed a diversion from the M11 and ended up in Longstanton recently,couldn't find the Spice museum

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