To build on the momentum, Benjamin began uploading new songs to his YouTube channel at a rapid clip and eventually earned a viral hit with “I Built a Friend” and a deal with Atlantic Records.
Benjamin connects to listeners by incorporating using his life struggles to tell stories and give meaning to his songs. You can see this in “Let Me Down Slowly,” “Paper Crown,” “I Built a Friend,” “Death of a Hero,” and “If We Have Each Other.”
Benjamin released his first studio album mixtape, Narrated for You on November 16, 2018, and released his first studio album, These Two Windows on May 29, 2020
If I Killed Someone For You
Alec Benjamin Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I stare at my reflection, I don't know who I am
Practice my confession in case I take the stand
I'll say I learned my lesson, I'll be a better man
I'm packing up my things and I'm wiping down the walls
I'm rinsing off my clothes and I'm walking through the halls
I did it all for her, so I felt nothing at all
Would you love me more (would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hands? (Would you hold my hands)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in (would you turn me in)
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when (would you hide me when)
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you, yeah
I hear the sirens comin', I see the flashing lights
I'm driving through the suburbs wearing my disguise
I show up at her doorstep to look her in the eyes
I tell her that it's me, but she doesn't recognize
"Can't you see I'm running?" Said, "I need a place to hide"
"I've gotta ask you something, could you please let me inside"
"Just let me explain, no, I wouldn't tell you lies"
"I know you'll understand if you let me stay the night"
Would you love me more (would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hands? (Would you hold my hands)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in (would you turn me in)
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when (would you hide me when)
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you, yeah
You have to understand that the one I killed is me
Changing what I was for what you wanted me to be
I followed your direction, did everything you asked
I hope it makes you happy, 'cause there's just no turning back
Would you love me more (would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hands? (Would you hold my hands)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in (would you turn me in)
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when (would you hide me when)
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you, yeah
The lyrics of Alec Benjamin's "If I Killed Someone For You" tell a story of a love so strong that the singer is willing to commit a murder for his partner. The first stanza describes the singer's evident guilt and regret about his actions, questioning his identity and practicing a confession as a means of readiness. The second stanza then displays his effort to cover up the crime, reflecting his justification of the act, thinking that he did it all for 'her' and felt nothing at all.
The chorus raises questions about whether the love interest would love him more if they knew what he had done for them. The line "Would you love me more if I killed someone for you?" is a haunting lyric and an unnervingly frank question. He then asks if they would turn him in if they found out, or if they would hide him. The song implies a need to be with the one he loves, no matter the cost, and ends with the chilling admission that the person he killed was himself, as he has changed so much for the love of his partner.
Overall, "If I Killed Someone For You" could be interpreted as a cautionary tale about the dark side of desperate and all-consuming love. It shows the dangerous lengths people are willing to go for the people they love and how far they will go to maintain relationships.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm sorry that I did this, the blood is on my hands
I feel remorse for what I've done, I am responsible for this action.
I stare at my reflection, I don't know who I am
I am struggling to reconcile my sense of self with this act of violence.
Practice my confession in case I take the stand
I am preparing to admit my guilt in the event that I am caught and tried.
I'll say I learned my lesson, I'll be a better man
I will express remorse and vow to change my ways in order to gain sympathy and leniency in court.
I'm packing up my things and I'm wiping down the walls
I am erasing any evidence of my wrongdoing and attempting to flee the scene.
I'm rinsing off my clothes and I'm walking through the halls
I am removing any physical evidence that could incriminate me.
I did it all for her, so I felt nothing at all
I committed this act of violence out of love for someone else, which has allowed me to detach from any sense of guilt or shame.
I don't know what she'll say, so I'll ask her when she calls
I am unsure of how my partner will react to my actions and need to check in with them for reassurance.
Would you love me more (would you love me more)
Do you desire me to be capable of extreme violence in order to love me more?
If I killed someone for you?
Would you want me to murder for your sake?
Would you hold my hands? (Would you hold my hands)
Would you still offer me physical affection despite what I've done?
They're the same ones that I used
These hands have committed violence, but will you still hold them?
When they say I'm on the loose?
If I become a fugitive, would you turn me in to the authorities?
Would you hide me when (would you hide me when)
If I need to go into hiding, will you shield me from danger and protect me?
My face is on the news?
What happens when news outlets publish my story and broadcast images of me?
You have to understand that the one I killed is me
The person I used to be is now gone - I am a different person after committing this violent act.
Changing what I was for what you wanted me to be
I have molded myself to fit your expectations, even if that means becoming violent and immoral.
I followed your direction, did everything you asked
I have allowed your influence to push me towards committing a criminal act.
I hope it makes you happy, 'cause there's just no turning back
I executed this violent act to please you, but now it's too late to undo what's been done.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Alec Shane Benjamin, Alex Hope
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@nicole..ilysmmm
When he said:
I'm sorry that I did this
The blood is on my hands
I stare at my reflection
I don't know who I am
Practice my confession
In case I take the stand
I'll say I learned my lesson
I'll be a better man
I'm packing up my things
And I'm wiping down the walls
I'm rinsing off my clothes
And I'm walking through the halls
I did it all for her
So I felt nothing at all
I don't know what she'll say
So I'll ask her when she calls
Would you love me more
(Would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hand?
(Would you hold my hand?)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in
(Would you turn me in)
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when
(Would you hide me when)
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you
I hear the sirens coming
I see the flashing lights
I'm driving through the suburbs
Wearing my disguise
I show up at her doorstep
To look her in the eyes
I tell her that it's me
But she doesn't recognise
Can't you see I'm running?
Said I need a place to hide
I've gotta ask you something
Could you please let me inside?
Just let me explain
No, I wouldn't tell you lies
I know you'll understand
If you let me stay the night
Would you love me more
(Would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hand?
(Would you hold my hand?)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in
(Would you turn me in)
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when
(Would you hide me when)
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you
You have to understand that
The one I killed is me
Changing what I was
For what you wanted me to be
I followed your direction
Did everything you asked
I hope that makes you happy
'Cause there's just no turning back
Would you love me more
(Would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hand?
(Would you hold my hand?)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you
Would you turn me in
(Would you turn me in)
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when
(Would you hide me when)
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you, yeah
I rlly felt that yk
@wallflower_tium
Actually Alec let many hints before the twist :
I'll be a better man He's not enough for her so he's going to get rid of his true self to be "better"
I stare at my reflexion, I don't know who I am He's not himself anymore, he became her creation, the addition of her desires, she took so much space inside of him that there is nothing left for himself, he has disapeared completly and he doesn't control anything anymore, he's not who he used to be and he is lost bc he let her redrawn him completely
So clearly he doesn't know who he is now, who he became (for her)
I learned my lesson He probably understood the hard way that he's not enough for her, so he "learned his lesson" and changed himself to be loved by her
Wearing my disguise to escape to the police, he doesnt even have to hide as he's not himself anymore. If he cant recognize himself in the mirror, who would ?
I tell her that its me but she doesnt recognize Indeed he is not himself anymore so why say "its me" if its not true anymore ? ( No I wouldn't tell you lies well you just did T_T) She cant recognize him for the same reason he could recognize himself : hes no more who he was
I did it all for her so I felt nothing at all either he is empty cause hes not himself anymore, he became noone, or he is so blind by his love for her that hes not even feel sad for himself, or bad for litteraly got rid of who he was
I'm sorry that I did this He understand that it wasn't worth it, and that he should be loved for who he is and nothing more. So he's regretting doing it all but its too late ( cause there's just no turning back )
This song is both a so-much-well-written warning and a lovely and essential advise : don't change yourselves for someone else and be who you are and love yourself
Thats how I understood this masterpiece ❤❤❤
Edit : @Maxwell Steinbruckner added that there is also a play on words when he says, "My face is on the news." With the idea of killing yourself a common way is through hanging and, you get hanged with a noose. "My face is on the (noose)." Therefore he hung his old self.
@egoralexeyevich5968
One girl had sent this song and said: "listen and try to understand the meaning of this song".
Me when I heard this song at first time: "I don't usually listen English sad songs".
and also me after three hours:
"You have to understand that, the one I killed is me,
Changing what I was for what you wanted me to be.
I followed your direction, did everithing you asked,
I hope it make you happy, cause there's just no turning back."
p.s It's first song that discribes my feelings. Thank you Alec.
@Makcalinder
“You have to understand that,
“The one I killed is... me.”
“Changing what I was,”
“For what you wanted me to be,”
“I followed your direction...”
“Did everything you asked..”
“I hope it makes you happy...”
“‘Cause there’s just no turning back....”
Damn that hit close to home
Edit:This is just a translate on some of the words i aint deppresed or anything.
@AlecBenjaminMusic
THE ALBUM IS COMING MAY 29TH !!! pre order here : https://alecbenjamin.lnk.to/TheseTwoWindowsID
@KREYSCENDO
alec I love your music ♡ they helped me sleep •^•
@julieboquet7368
Alec Benjamin yas
@curtains1845
Early
@j-hopewelllookatmypfp7507
I love this song 🥺
@c4cubey931
I literally love all of ur songs keep up the great songs
@happylee7775
“you can’t put a novel in a whole song”
alec: “hold my drink”
@ellismartiskainen7729
I know. This is giving me creepy antihero morality vibes. I am thinking of writing something along these lines (after I finish my current project). I've got a playlist of songs titled "Book Ideas" because some songs just give such unique ideas and feelings.
@AngelaNicoleSharpe
Here hold my jug of Mountain Dew Ima prove you wrong
@milkbunny794
@@ellismartiskainen7729 omg me too lol