Holowka acted as sound engineer on the 2006 freeware title I'm O.K – A Murder Simulator as a response to American lawyer Jack Thompson's "A Modest Video Game Proposal". Holowka met Derek Yu in the comments section of popular technology website Slashdot in a post regarding Jack Thompson's proposal and along with Chris Hanson and Phil Jones formed the group "Thompsonsoft" for the one-off release. After its release Holowka introduced Yu to a project he had been working on independently, Yu was interested in the project and the two officially formed developer Bit Blot the week before the Independent Games Festival deadline. The project was released on 7 December 2007 under the title Aquaria, and was the recipient of the Independent Games Festival Seumas McNally Grand Prize for 2007. In 2013, Holowka and independent animator Scott Benson successfully crowdfunded the game Night in the Woods. Night in the Woods was released in 2017 to critical acclaim and won the BAFTA in "Narrative" and the Seumas McNally Grand Prize at the IGF. The game's music was composed by Scott Benson and Holowka. He also composed the soundtracks for the supplemental games Longest Night and Lost Constellation.
In August 2019, Holowka was accused of physical and emotional abuse by Zoë Quinn, whom he had briefly cohabited with in Winnipeg in 2012. The day following the accusation, the Night in the Woods development team cut ties with Holowka, with Scott Benson writing "We take such allegations seriously as a team". The team stated that other corroborating evidence related to the accusations had been presented to them. Finji, the publisher of Night in the Woods, backed the team's decision, and postponed plans to publish physical copies of the game in wake of the allegations.
Four days after allegations of abuse were leveled against him, Holowka committed suicide on 31 August 2019 at the age of 35. According to his sister who posted to Twitter about his death, Holowka had been "battling mood and personality disorders" through his life and "was a victim of abuse". She explained he had been trying to correct his own disorders in recent years through therapy and medication. She also stated that Holowka "said he wished the best for Zoë and everyone else".
Die Anywhere Else
Alec Holowka Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Mark corners where we used to play
Dust trace our tired old feet
In circles as we pace our time away
I just wanna die anywhere else
If only I could die anywhere else
So come with me let's die anywhere else
Stuck on this dead end street
Where all the new kids come to play
Stuck where the past and future meet
Watching all our autumns drift away
I just wanna die anywhere else
If only I could die anywhere else
So come with me let's die anywhere else
Anywhere, just not here
And if they ever hear my name,
Will they know I walked alone?
Around these dusty streets,
My tired old home
And will they ever stop to think
What was here before?
No, they won't remember that I'm gone
I just wanna die anywhere else
If only I could die anywhere else
So come with me let's die anywhere else
Anywhere, just not here
Oh no!
The lyrics of Alec Holowka's song "Die Anywhere Else" paint a picture of a person who feels trapped and confined in their current environment. The first set of lyrics creates a compelling visual of the dust that traces the corners and streets that were once familiar and nostalgic to the singer. The previous memories and moments spent on this street now feel like a tired old routine, and the dust marking the corners only reminds them of how they used to be. In the second verse, the singer feels stuck on a dead-end street where the new kids come to play, and they feel like they're watching their autumns drift away. The inability to move from this place is suffocating, and the only thing they desire is to die anywhere else, tired of being trapped in the same environment.
The repeated chorus of "I just wanna die anywhere else, if only I could die anywhere else" becomes a desperate plea for change and a way out of this mundane and restrictive environment. Even as the singer wonders if anyone will remember them once they are gone, their desire to leave this place remains steadfast. It's clear that the singer is searching for more opportunities or experiences that are beyond the current limitations of this dusty street, and they believe that perhaps dying elsewhere is the only way they can get it.
Line by Line Meaning
Dust on this tired old street
The street has remained unchanged and exhausted for a long time as evidenced by the layer of dust that covers it
Mark corners where we used to play
The dust marks the areas where they used to have fun playing together as kids
Dust trace our tired old feet
The dust also clings to their feet and serves as a reminder of how tired they are from pacing the same old circles on the street
In circles as we pace our time away
The monotony of their lives causes them to go through the motions and waste the precious time that they have
I just wanna die anywhere else
The artist is overwhelmed and wishes for a change of pace and scenery
If only I could die anywhere else
The singer feels trapped and hopeless in their current situation, wishing for escape even if it means death
So come with me let's die anywhere else
The singer is desperate for companionship and pleads for someone to join them on their quest to find a better place to die
Anywhere, just not here
The artist wants to avoid the mundanity of their current surroundings and look for something more exciting or fulfilling
Stuck on this dead end street
The street can be seen as a metaphor for the artist's life, stuck in a directionless existence
Where all the new kids come to play
The artist feels left behind and out of place as they watch the younger generation enjoy themselves
Stuck where the past and future meet
The singer is caught between the nostalgia of the past and uncertainty of the future, leading to a feeling of being stuck in place
Watching all our autumns drift away
The seasons passing by serve as a reminder of the impermanence of life and the inevitability of aging and death
And if they ever hear my name,
The singer doubts their legacy will ever live on or be remembered by anyone
Will they know I walked alone?
The singer feels lonely and wonders if others will recognize the struggles they faced and the path they took in life
Around these dusty streets,
The dusty old street is symbolic of the singer's beaten-down state and the trials they have faced
My tired old home
The street is also an embodiment of the artist's feelings of exhaustion and hopelessness
And will they ever stop to think
The artist questions whether anyone will take the time to reflect on what the street and the artist symbolize
What was here before?
The singer comments on how easy it is to forget the intricate history and events that shaped a person, place, or thing
No, they won't remember that I'm gone
The singer believes that no one will remember them once they are gone, emphasizing their feelings of insignificance and isolation
Oh no!
This could either be an expression of surprise or a sarcastic remark about the artist's predicament
Writer(s): Alec Holowka, Scott Benson
Contributed by Ella F. Suggest a correction in the comments below.