When Instant Star wrapped after four seasons (2005-2008), Alexz endured her share of off-camera drama in her music career, when both Capitol and Epic, respectively, ended up shelving her records due to internal conflicts . "It’s been tough,” she says, “but something always keeps me going. Even with no money in my pocket, things land where they land and you keep moving.” Johnson had completed a full length record entitled Weight in 2008, and was set to release it in September the next year.
Alexz independently released her debut album, Voodoo in 2010 and remixed it in 2011 as Reloaded. She released a compilation of unheard demos in the form of The Basement Recordings (2011), while prepping to release her first EP, Skipping Stone in January 2012. She has also released one live album, Live from the Skipping Stone Tour in December 2012. Johnson later continued to release two more demo compilations, The Basement Recordings 2 and The Basement Recordings 3 in 2012 and 2013, respectively.
Finding success and a loyal fanbase through her independent releases, Johnson's 2014 EP, Heart and sophomore album Let 'Em Eat Cake were both funded through the crowdfunding service Pledgemusic. Heart and Let 'Em Eat Cake both showcase a different side of Johnson, tackling subjects such as heartbreak and loss. The two releases include tracks produced by David Kahne, who has worked with Lana Del Rey, Kelly Clarkson, Regina Spektor, and other artists.
I Don't Know If I Should Stay
Alexz Johnson Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Can I find a way?
The earth is wild
And I can't sit still
A familiar sound
A familiar voice
Makes it so hard
I don't know if I should stay
A thousand stars
You will have my word
I'm bright enough
To fill these cracks
A familiar place
A familiar voice
Makes it so hard
To make a choice
I don't know if I should stay
I ran to you like water
I threw my body in
And I'll stand up on the ocean
Just to show you that I am strong, strong
But what if I am wrong
A familiar look
A familiar smile
Makes it so hard
To make a choice
I don't know if I should stay away
These lyrics from Alexz Johnson's song "I Don't Know If I Should Stay" depict a person grappling with a difficult decision. The singer is feeling restless and uncertain, wondering if she can find the will or a way to settle down. The line "the earth is wild and I can't sit still" suggests that the singer is feeling restless and searching for something that she can hold onto. The tone of the song is contemplative and introspective, conveying the sense of indecision and the struggle to choose a path forward.
The singer finds herself torn between conflicting impulses, unable to make a clear decision. On the one hand, she feels a strong connection to a familiar voice, a familiar place, and a familiar smile. On the other hand, there is something about these things that makes it hard for her to make a choice. It seems that the singer is afraid of committing to one path or the other because she is unsure of what the future holds.
The song concludes with the singer expressing her determination and strength, even as she acknowledges the possibility that she may be wrong. The image of standing up on the ocean is a powerful one, conveying the idea that the singer is willing to take risks and face challenges in order to prove herself. Overall, "I Don't Know If I Should Stay" is a poignant exploration of the nuances of decision-making and the complexities of human emotion.
Line by Line Meaning
Where's my will
I feel lost and unsure of myself
Can I find a way?
I am searching for direction or guidance
The earth is wild
Life is unpredictable and chaotic
And I can't sit still
I am restless and unable to relax
A familiar sound
Something I recognize from the past
A familiar voice
Someone I know well
Makes it so hard
Creates difficulty or confusion
To make a choice
To decide on a course of action
I don't know if I should stay
I am uncertain whether to remain in this situation
A thousand stars
Many possibilities or opportunities
You will have my word
I promise to be truthful and reliable
I'm bright enough
I have the potential to illuminate my surroundings
To fill these cracks
To repair or make whole what has been damaged
I ran to you like water
I came to you easily and naturally
I threw my body in
I gave myself completely to you
And I'll stand up on the ocean
I am capable of great feats and strength
Just to show you that I am strong, strong
To prove my resilience and fortitude
But what if I am wrong
What if I make a mistake or bad decision?
A familiar look
A gaze or expression that I recognize
A familiar smile
A grin or smirk I have seen before
Makes it so hard
Creates difficulty or confusion
To make a choice
To decide on a course of action
I don't know if I should stay away
I am uncertain whether to leave this situation
Lyrics © Red Brick Music Publishing, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: GREG JOHNSTON, JEEN O'BRIEN, MARC WALLACE JORDAN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Alicia Huynh
Still listening in 2016.. I absolutely love alexz johnson
Analisa Narine
Anyone in 2021 here
Pedro Seymour
Her voice is extremely... dark, haunting, and passionate on this track. It gives me the chills!
Shae H
I love this song. I hear it and I think of Tommy Q and Jude. LOL! This was one of the greatest shows ever. Loved it. Perfect song.
Janie Drenette
I Don't know what I love the most, her voice or the lyrics. Both of them are so beautiful !
darkteers
By far season 3 was my favorite of all of them! and i agree im totally waiting for season 4 !! she is amazing
Smoopy
this is sooo good!! i wish it were longer!!
naisha nergon
GREAT SONG I LOVE IT :)
sweetie404
Thank you so much for posting this song! Instant Star is such an underrated show and Alexz Johnson - she's such an amazing singer and not only that but a really good actress. I love that girl. Thanx again for the song!
Jessica A.
Love this song