Lonesome Clown
Amadeus Awad Lyrics

I don't deny
I am acknowledging what is being discussed.

You won't forget
The memory of our past will remain with you.

You wonder why
You don't understand my actions or feelings.

I don't regret
I have no remorse for my past actions.

My mental space
The state of my mind.

Is just a tomb
My mind is like a grave or cemetery.

Wrapped with lace
My thoughts and emotions are hidden behind a delicate facade.

And thoughts of doom
My mind is consumed by negative and depressing thoughts.

I entered your mind
I influenced your thoughts or feelings.

And your flesh
I had a physical impact on you.

And filled your lungs with toxic air
My presence or actions had a negative impact on your well-being.

But is it fair to run?
I question whether it is justifiable to escape the consequences of my actions.

A face that you should
There is a visage that you must avoid.

Never see
You should not witness or encounter this.

Was hidden
It was kept secret or concealed.

Both from you and me
Neither of us were aware of this before.

I swear I've tried
I promise that I have made an effort to change.

To burn this corpse but...
I attempted to put my past behind me, but something keeps holding me back.

Death Is Just a feeling
The concept of death is purely a sensation or emotion.

That you're never coming back
The idea that whatever or whoever is gone will not return.

It's just a bloated heart
The heart is swollen, inflamed, and heavy with emotion.

And an empty bed
The bed is devoid of the life that it once held.

A room that's full of cries
The space is filled with weeping and sorrowful sounds.

And screams that drive me mad
The screams are deafening and difficult to bear.

If death is just a feeling
If the idea of death is purely emotional.

Then I am surely dead
I am completely consumed by this emotional state.

My eyes grow dim
My vision becomes clouded or blurred.

When the night comes down
In the darkness or silence of night.

I wear the mask of
I pretend to be someone else.

A lonesome clown
An isolated performer who is unhappy underneath the façade of smiles and laughter.

I lost my crown
I no longer hold the power or authority that I previously had.

And now I am no one
I have lost my identity or sense of self-worth.

I didn't know it would be late
I didn't realize that time was running out.

I thought you'd stay
I believed that you would remain with me.

I hoped you'd wait
I wanted you to stay despite the circumstances.

The dream is short
The illusion of happiness or bliss will not last forever.

My sins still grab
The negative consequences of my past actions still haunt me.

Me by the throat, and...
I am unable to escape the repercussions of my past.

In your mind
Within the confines of your thoughts or consciousness.

I am a beast, too wild to tame
I am an untamed or uncontrollable creature within your mind.

And you'll cry
You will weep or be sorrowful.

When the wind cries my name
There will be a disturbance or chaos that is related to me.

I ask you forgiveness
I request that you pardon me.

I know you can hear this
I believe that you are listening or understanding my words.

I try to smile
I attempt to appear happy or content.

But the wounds forever bleed
The emotional pain or injuries never fully heal or go away.

Down the aisle
The path that leads to the altar or place of mourning.

I burned the books, denied the creed
I rejected the beliefs or ideologies that I once held.

Take my hand
I offer myself to you.

Make me dream
Help me escape reality or my current state of mind.

Tell me it's not what it seems
Assure me that things are not as bad as they appear to be.

Wake me up
Bring me back to reality.

Let me in
Allow me to become a part of your life or thoughts once again.

Empty this heart of the sins
Cleanse me of my past transgressions.

I beg you forgiveness
I am pleading with you to pardon me.

If I were you I would have run away
If our positions were reversed, you would not have stayed.

And if I were me I would have followed you,
If I had the courage to be myself, I would not have let you go.

But as days slipped through the fabrics of my existence,
As time passes, my life seems to slip away from me.

I came to realize that I was no-one,
I realized that I do not have an identity or significance.

That everything I know of is an illusion,
The things I thought were real or true are actually false or misleading.

That I myself am a projection of hundreds of tiny thoughts that came together by the coincidence of tragedy.
My existence is a manifestation of random events that have led me to where I am now.