Their debut album Fitness to Practice (featuring the ultra-sweary London Underground song) is "a cult hit" Sunday Times and "extremely funny" Daily Telegraph. In 2008 they released their second album "Unfit to Practice".
London Underground
Amateur Transplants Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Or drive in in a beamer or a merc.
Some guys like to travel in by bus,
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today,
I'm gonna take my bike,
'cause once again the tube's on strike.
The greedy bastards want extra pay
For sitting on their arse all day
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain
Where the fuck's my fucking train?
London Underground!
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground!
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all with a rifle!
All they say is please mind the doors!
And they learn that on the two day course
This job could be done by a four year old
They just leave us freezing in the cold.
What you smell is what you get:
Burger King and piss and sweat
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
With tourists treading on your feet
And chewing gum on every seat
So don't tell me to mind the gap!
I want my fucking money back!
London Underground!
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts!
London Underground!
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all with a rifle!
lalalala
lalalala
The floors are sticky and the seats are damp
Every platform has a fucking tramp!
But the divers get the day off when
we're all late for work again!
London Underground! London Underground!
Wa-wa-wankers,
They're all wankers!
London Underground!
Take your oyster card and shove it up your arsehole!
The song "London Underground" by Amateur Transplants is a satirical take on the struggles of commuting through the Underground system in London, England. The lyrics depict the singer's frustration and anger towards the Tube workers who are on strike for extra pay, leaving him to bike despite the pouring rain. The opening verse shows that while some people choose to go to work by train or car, he, however, doesn't want to be bothered with the fuss and takes his bike to work. The strikes are the motivation behind this decision. The lyrics describe the Tube workers as "lazy," "useless cunts," and "greedy." The chorus, sung in a crowd chant-like melody, has the singer calling all the Tube workers "wankers" and wanting to shoot them with a rifle.
The second verse of the song highlights the incompetence of the Tube workers, who just stick to saying, please mind the doors and leave the commuters freezing in the cold. It alludes to their lack of training, which can apparently be learned in two days, should have been a cakewalk for a four-year-old. The lyrics go on to paint a vivid picture of the horrid state of the Underground, with terrible odors emanating from a combination of Burger King, urine, and sweat. The temperature can be unbearably hot, and tourists cause chaos by standing on the feet of the commuters who are already overstuffed onto the train. The lyrics here take a clever dig at the "mind the gap" warning too, telling the Tube workers not to "tell" commuters about it but instead to refund their fares.
Line by Line Meaning
Some people might like to get a train to work,
Some individuals prefer using trains to get to work
Or drive in in a beamer or a merc.
Alternatively, one can choose to drive a fancy vehicle like a BMW or Mercedes
Some guys like to travel in by bus,
Others may opt to travel by bus
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today,
However, I'm not willing to deal with the inconvenience today
I'm gonna take my bike,
Hence, I'll ride my bicycle instead
'cause once again the tube's on strike.
Since the underground train service is on strike again
The greedy bastards want extra pay
The workers are being unreasonable and demanding more money
For sitting on their arse all day
They complain despite sitting and doing nothing all day
Even though they earn 30k,
It's mind-boggling that they still require more, despite earning £30,000
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain
Here I am, drenched in the rain
Where the fuck's my fucking train?
Asking for the whereabouts of the train, fed up with the situation
London Underground!
Referring to the underground tube train service in London
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
Disparaging the workers as being lazy, useless and incompetent
London Underground!
Referring to the underground train service, again
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all with a rifle!
The singer is hostile to the workers and imagines shooting them with a gun
All they say is please mind the doors!
The workers are only saying one repetitive thing - "Please mind the doors!"
And they learn that on the two day course
Even a two-day training course would suffice to teach them their limited job
This job could be done by a four year old
Even a toddler could perform this job
They just leave us freezing in the cold.
All the workers do is leave their passengers exposed to the cold
What you smell is what you get:
The odour in the train is what you should expect
Burger King and piss and sweat
The scent is a mixture of fast food, urine and perspiration
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
During hot weather, the train becomes unbearably hot
With tourists treading on your feet
Tourists step on your feet due to a lack of space
And chewing gum on every seat
Chewing gum is stuck to every seat
So don't tell me to mind the gap!
I don't want to hear the typical caution to mind the gap
I want my fucking money back!
The passengers demand a refund for the poor service received
The floors are sticky and the seats are damp
The floor is adhesive, and the seats are moist
Every platform has a fucking tramp!
Homeless people are always present in the stations
But the divers get the day off when
The drivers are conveniently given the day off when service is needed the most
we're all late for work again!
Companies face the impact of the delay, leaving their staff ultimately behind schedule
Wa-wa-wankers,
Calling out the workers as wankers
They're all wankers!
Reiterating the workers' incompetence
London Underground!
Referring to the underground train service once more
Take your oyster card and shove it up your arsehole!
Disrespectfully telling the train service to take their ticket and shove it into their rectum
Contributed by Carson Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.