Their debut album Fitness to Practice (featuring the ultra-sweary London Underground song) is "a cult hit" Sunday Times and "extremely funny" Daily Telegraph. In 2008 they released their second album "Unfit to Practice".
Northern Birds
Amateur Transplants Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
And my name's Sumin Biswas
We are amateur transplants
This is a public service announcement for all men:
If you go to Bolton
If you go to Manchester or Crewe
Newcastle or Scarborough
Bradford
Barnsley too
Or Grimsby
Listen up to what we have to say
Northern birds
Are lazy, ugly whores who
Smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might fuck one
And end up getting AIDS
There's nothing fun
To be found up the M1
Northern birds are lower class slags
Who take it up the arse
They're in the sack
After one cider and black
But they're fucking awful rides
And your dick won't touch the sides
Da da da da da daa da da da daa
Northern birds
Da da da da da daa da da da daa
If you really have to
Go up North then follow our advice
Fight away the women
Or you'll find yourself with pubic lice
And Herpes
You're much better staying in the South
Northern birds
Are desparate ugly hippos
Dressed in burberry
With a peanut for a brain
And an accent that makes you want to die
Now you've been warned
They're all physically deformed
Northern birds are all obese
And they're riddled with disease
Try to escape
Northern sex is worse than rape
Stay down South
And mark my words
Steer well clear of Northern birds
Da da da da da daa da da da daa
Northern birds
Da da da da da daa da da da daa
Northern birds
The lyrics to Amateur Transplants' song Northern Birds are vitriolic and insulting towards women from various regions in the North of England. The song is sung in a conversational tone, with the two singers introducing themselves at the beginning and then addressing the male listeners directly, warning them about the supposed dangers of Northern women. The song lists various towns and cities in the North, implying that the stereotype of the "lazy, ugly whores" applies all across the region.
The lyrics are misogynistic and offensive, and the use of AIDS and rape as punchlines is particularly distasteful. However, it can also be argued that the song is satirical, meant to expose and mock the absurdity of such crude stereotypes. The use of hyperbole and cliché (e.g. "dressed in burberry") and the exaggerated disgust in the delivery of the lyrics can be interpreted as a sarcastic commentary on the prejudices and ignorance that fuel such stereotypes. The song can also be seen as a satire on toxic masculinity, with the singers presenting themselves as the "experts" on women that men should listen to, and implying that not succumbing to the "weakness" of sex is the way to maintain one's superiority.
Line by Line Meaning
If you go to Bolton
If you happen to be in Bolton
If you go to Manchester or Crewe
Similarly, if you're in Manchester or Crewe
Newcastle or Scarborough
Or in Newcastle or Scarborough
York or Scunthorpe
Or in York or Scunthorpe
Bradford
Also, if you are in Bradford
Barnsley too
And let's not forget about Barnsley
Or Grimsby
Lastly, even Grimsby
Listen up to what we have to say
Pay close attention to what we're about to tell you
Northern birds
Women from the North
Are lazy, ugly whores who
Are promiscuous and unattractive, and have a low work ethic
Smell of burgers
Have a bad odor emanating from them, possibly from eating too many burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Don't get too drunk
Or you might fuck one
Or else you might end up having sex with one
And end up getting AIDS
And contract the disease of AIDS
There's nothing fun
It's not an enjoyable experience
To be found up the M1
On the highway called M1
Northern birds are lower class slags
Women from the North are of a lower social class and promiscuous
Who take it up the arse
Who engage in anal sex
They're in the sack
They're quick to have sex
After one cider and black
After consuming one alcoholic drink
But they're fucking awful rides
But they are terrible sexual partners
And your dick won't touch the sides
Your penis will not even be fully inserted
If you really have to
If you absolutely need to do it
Go up North then follow our advice
If you must go to the North, heed our advice
Fight away the women
Avoid the women
Or you'll find yourself with pubic lice
Or else you may contract pubic lice
And Herpes
And contract the herpes virus
You're much better staying in the South
You should really just stay in the South
Are desparate ugly hippos
Women from the North are extremely unattractive and desperate
Dressed in burberry
They wear a brand called Burberry
With a peanut for a brain
They are not very intelligent
And an accent that makes you want to die
And they have a very unpleasant accent
Now you've been warned
We've given you fair warning
They're all physically deformed
They are all unattractive and deformed in some way
Northern birds are all obese
Women from the North are all overweight
And they're riddled with disease
And they have many health issues
Try to escape
Do your best to avoid them
Northern sex is worse than rape
Sex with women from the North is worse than being raped
Stay down South
Just stay in the South
And mark my words
And remember what I'm telling you
Steer well clear of Northern birds
Stay far away from women from the North
Contributed by Savannah H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@theguyinthefunnyhat
Such a shame you can't find his music anymore. Amazing stuff. There is a wiki with all the parody lyrics, so there's nothing stopping people making covers or whatever.
@riddler442
Very sad, I used to listen to their albums while driving all the time! Any idea why they've all gone from Spotify too?
@zombieoutbreakprod
There's still the classics about on YouTube, whenever I have a look for them every few years I can usually find them. Seems the ones with big views are gone now though.
@vespies3516
@@zombieoutbreakprod its becos youtube is becoming more pg family friendly
@roberthenke6307
@@riddler442 bloke got copywrite banned
@roberthenke6307
@@vespies3516 bloke got copywrite banned. It’s shit the music was golden
@versus1066
"The only thing they've given me is MRSA" awesome
@nicnac360
Remember seeing these guys at uni 2004 - absolutely hilarious and super talented musicians. Pistoriua rhapsody is unreal
@chrismac2234
I once said Adam Kay would save our NHS, it turned out to be covid-19 instead.
@ricequin
Unfortunately I have zero faith in our politicians to actually fund it.