Where so many songwriters stretch for their highest notes, hoping to impress and astound, Duvekot bravely mines her deep reaches, where the dark feelings lurk. It softens her phrasing, leading us in with whispers, letting us know she believes every word she sings.
Her melodies seem like suddenly occurring thoughts, matching the hushed, conversational allure of her singing. They feel so immediate, so in synch with her lyrics; and yet also snugly rooted, oddly familiar, like memories you can't quite recall.
She sings, and writes, as if she thinks songs are important; not means to an end, but tools of survival. And for her, that's just what they are.
In 2006 Antje was a featured guest performer at the ten-year reunion concert of the contemporary Celtic band Solas, who performed two of her songs.
Judas
Antje Duvekot Lyrics
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He's being tortured by the roaring in his mind
That won't surrender the scene
And even here alone in the dark, a thousand eyes are burning
Holes into his heart
Holes into his heart
Jesus, he was the schoolyard martyr
Not like Judas
In the back of the schoolbus
Invisible to everyone
Well, there was lots of love in between Joseph and Mary
Joseph was the head coach at the high school
And they were living down on Judas' street
They'd be pitching Sundays in the grass
And usually Judas' father would be drunk off his ass
Jesus, he was the schoolyard martyr
Was every mother's perfect son
Not like Judas
In the back of the schoolbus
Invisible to everyone
Last night Judas' father
Threw his son against the wall
And that's how you learn to become invisible
And it may well have been any day like the rest
But the tape shows him moving
And he's standing in the hall
He's never felt this alone before
He's walking through the door and it's springtime
Judas Iscariot is kicking up seashells and he is cursing
And if he stands here long enough maybe
He will turn to stone and wash away
He won't find the bullets
On that fated morning
And he will wake up from this dream
Jesus, he was the schoolyard martyr
Was every mother's perfect son
Not like Judas
In the back of the schoolbus
Invisible to everyone
Jesus, he was the schoolyard martyr
Was every mother's perfect son
Not like Judas
In the back of the schoolbus
Invisible to everyone
"Judas" by Antje Duvekot is a poignant and emotional song about the struggles of Judas Iscariot. The song starts with Judas kicking up seashells and cursing, indicating his anger and frustration. He is being tortured by the thoughts and memories that won't leave his mind. Despite being alone, he feels the eyes of a thousand people burning holes into his heart. This shows the weight of guilt and shame that he carries with him.
The song then talks about Jesus and how he was the perfect son, loved and praised by everyone. In contrast, Judas was invisible to everyone, sitting at the back of the school bus unnoticed. There was a lot of love between Joseph and Mary, who lived on Judas' street. They would pitch on Sundays, but Judas' father would usually be drunk off his ass. The song talks about how this could have been any normal day, but in the end, Judas' father threw him against the wall, teaching him to become invisible.
The song ends with Judas cursing, hoping to turn into stone and wash away. It talks about how he won't find the bullets on that fated morning, indicating his fate as the man who betrayed Jesus. Overall, the lyrics of "Judas" are deep and heart-wrenching, speaking to the inner struggles of a man who has been condemned by history.
Line by Line Meaning
Judas Iscariot is kicking up seashells and he is cursing
Judas is in a state of anger and frustration, literally kicking up seashells and cursing.
He's being tortured by the roaring in his mind
Judas is struggling with his own thoughts and emotions, causing him great mental anguish.
That won't surrender the scene
His mind won't let go of the situation and memories that haunt him.
And even here alone in the dark, a thousand eyes are burning
Judas feels as though he is constantly being watched and judged, even when he is alone in the dark.
Holes into his heart
The constant judgment and guilt is eating away at Judas, leaving him feeling broken and wounded inside.
Jesus, he was the schoolyard martyr
Jesus was seen as a hero and perfect role model, especially in childhood.
Was every mother's perfect son
Jesus was often idolized by mothers for being the perfect example of a good son.
Not like Judas
In contrast to Jesus, Judas is seen as flawed and imperfect.
In the back of the schoolbus
Judas is isolated and unnoticed, unlike Jesus who would likely be in a prominent position on the bus.
Invisible to everyone
Judas feels invisible and overlooked, as if he doesn't matter to anyone.
Well, there was lots of love in between Joseph and Mary
Joseph and Mary had a loving and stable relationship.
Joseph was the head coach at the high school
Joseph held a respectable and influential position in the community as the head coach of a high school team.
And they were living down on Judas' street
Joseph and Mary lived in the same neighborhood as Judas.
They'd be pitching Sundays in the grass
Joseph and Mary would spend leisurely Sundays playing catch in the grass.
And usually Judas' father would be drunk off his ass
Judas' father was often drunk and uninvolved with his family.
Last night Judas' father
Judas recently experienced a traumatic event with his father.
Threw his son against the wall
Judas' father physically abused him by throwing him into a wall.
And that's how you learn to become invisible
Judas learned to hide and be silent to avoid attracting his father's attention or anger.
And it may well have been any day like the rest
The abuse may have seemed like just another typical day in Judas' life.
But the tape shows him moving
There may be evidence of the abuse, possibly captured on video tape.
And he's standing in the hall
Judas is seen standing in the hallway, possibly before or after the incident of abuse.
He's never felt this alone before
Judas feels more isolated and alone than he ever has before.
He's walking through the door and it's springtime
Despite the dark moments in his life, springtime represents a new beginning and hope for Judas.
And if he stands here long enough maybe
Judas may be stuck in his negative thoughts and emotions, unable to move on from past trauma.
He will turn to stone and wash away
Judas may feel numb and unfeeling, as if he is turning to stone and no longer able to connect with others.
He won't find the bullets on that fated morning
Judas may regret his actions and wish he could go back in time to change the course of events.
And he will wake up from this dream
Judas hopes to break free from the cycle of pain and regret and start anew.
Contributed by Charlotte L. Suggest a correction in the comments below.