Sweet Transvestite
Apocalypse Hoboken Lyrics

How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman
Hello there, you've met my dependable colleague who is a bit down because he thought you were someone else.

He's just a little brought down because when you knocked He thought you were the candyman.
He's feeling disappointed because he expected someone else to visit.

Don't get strung out by the way that I look, Don't judge a book by it's cover
Please don't be overwhelmed by my appearance and don't form a negative opinion about me based on that.

I'm not much of a man by the light of day, But by night I'm one hell of a lover
I may not be considered manly during the day, but at night I am a fantastic lover.

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.
I'm a kind and charming person who likes to wear clothes that are traditionally worn by the opposite gender, and I'm from a fictional place called Transsexual, Transylvania.

So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound You look like you're both pretty groovy
Would you like me to give you a tour and maybe play some music? You both seem like cool people.

Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
If you'd like to watch a movie that's not too terrible to look at, we could watch an old Steve Reeves film.

I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car We don't want to be any worry.
I'm happy we found you here. Can we borrow your phone? We're in a rush, so we'll quickly tell you where we are, and then leave so you won't be bothered.

So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that? Well babies, don't you panic. By the light of the night when it all seems alright I'll get you a satanic mechanic.
Your car got a flat tire, that's unlucky. Don't worry, my dears. In the dark of night when everything seems fine, I'll get you a mechanic who can fix it quickly.

So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite? I could show you my favourite obsession. I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan And he's good for relieving my tension
Would you like to spend the night and maybe have a meal? I could show you my favourite hobby, which is making a man with blond hair and a tan. He helps me relieve stress.

So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici... pation! But maybe the rain isn't really to blame. So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom.
Come visit my laboratory and see what I'm working on. You seem excited! Perhaps the weather isn't the only cause of your shivering, but don't worry, I'll take care of it without addressing the symptom itself.