To further her musical talent and familial distance, a 19-year-old McLean attended the Berklee College of Music in Boston. During her time alongside fellow students such as Paula Cole, McLean won a number of songwriting competitions.
Upon her graduation, Nashville looked like a good place to plant some roots and make some inroads. Indeed it was. McLean became a staff writer for Warner/Chappell Music for two years, all the while writing and performing her own work, developing herself as an artist with a stunning voice of her own. Susan Ashton chose one of McLean's tunes for her 1991 debut Wakened by the Wind which was produced by Grammy winner Wayne Kirkpatrick. In 2000, McLean was asked to contribute her song "Inside Out" to The Mercy Project, an album benefiting troubled girls which also featured Amy Grant, Donna Summer, and Martina McBride.
The next year saw the independent release of McLean's debut album. An emotional and melodic triumph, Becoming showcases a brilliant artist who stands shoulder-to-shoulder with Sarah McLachlan, Shawn Colvin, and Jonatha Brooke. Several cuts from Becoming were featured on Felicity, including the radio-ready "Superhero."
Her new release, Darbytown Road, includes standout songs such as “Everything's Gonna Change” and “Head Over Heels” which has already been placed in two episodes of the WB show What I Like About You starring Jennie Garth and Amanda Bynes.
McLean's writing continues to mature and evolve, with the contemplations taking on a greater world view. Take this lyric from “Round and Round”: “A granite world of fragile flesh and bone, a planet overcrowded and alone, round and round we go. We build our bombs and fend for our own lives, we load our guns and watch our children die, round and round we go. You think we would've learned to love by now, but we killed the ones who tried to teach us how, round and round we go.” The compassion and healing that McLean has achieved on a personal level is now projected outward in stunning fashion. Because of this, Darbytown Road strikes a universal chord and will surely enjoy widespread acclaim. How can it not?
Inside Out
April McLean Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Watch it spend round
To a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous
Then i'm through with you
I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
Chalk white and oh so frail
I see our time has gotten stale
The tick-tock of the clock is painful
All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall
I hear words and clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and i exhale
{chorus}
So cal is where my mind states
But it's not my state of mind
I'm not as ugly sad as you
Or am i origami?
Folded up and just pretend
Demented as the motives in your head
{chorus}
I alone am the one you don't know you need
Take heed feed your ego
Make me blind when you eyes close
Sink when you get close
Tie me to the bedpost
I alone am the one you don't know you need
You don't know you need me
Make me blind when you get close
Tie me to the bedpost
{chorus}
Now i'm through with you!
Rendezvous
Then i'm through with you
The chorus of "Inside Out" by April McLean showcases the singer’s willingness to go to great lengths to salvage a relationship that, in hindsight, might not be worth saving. She would "swallow [her] pride" and deal with any "rhines" or imperfections, yet without these traits, she’d only be "empty inside." McLean sings that she’s willing to "swallow [her] doubt" and "turn it inside out," hoping to find "faith in nothing." She then uses a suggestive metaphor, as she wants to put her heart in a blender and watch it spin to an oblivion where she can rendezvous with her beloved for the last time, signifying the end of the relationship. She ends the chorus by asserting that she’s "through with" her lover.
The second verse starts with a metaphor, as the singer compares herself to a "wicker cabinet" that burns quickly and fades away, hinting that her relationship is quickly coming to an end. She notices that time is slipping away, and the finality of it all is becoming more and more painful, which is unbearable for her. McLean reveals her insecurities and paranoia, as she hears "words and clips and phrases" and thinks of the worst-case scenario, causing her stomach to turn. The final verse reinforces her desire to prove her worth to her beloved, as she claims that she alone is "the one you don't know you need," and pleads with him to "take heed" and make her feel worthwhile. She continues to use metaphors throughout the lyrics, depicting herself as origami, folded and pretending to be much drearier than she is. She finishes the song by reiterating that she’s "through with" her lover.
Line by Line Meaning
I would swallow my pride
I'm willing to give up my ego
I would choke on the rhines
I would go to any extent to please you
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
If you don't reciprocate, I'll feel incomplete
I would swallow my doubt
I'll suppress my skepticism
Turn it inside out
Try to see the best in you
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Even if there's no basis for it, I'll trust you blindly
Want to put my tender
I'm vulnerable and fragile
Heart in a blender
I'm willing to take risks for you
Watch it spend round
Even if it hurts
To a beautiful oblivion
I'm oblivious to the possible consequences
Rendezvous
Our meeting
Then i'm through with you
But I'll cut ties once it's over
I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
I'm emotional and fragile
Chalk white and oh so frail
I'm weak and insecure
I see our time has gotten stale
Our relationship is drifting apart
The tick-tock of the clock is painful
The passage of time is agonizing
All sane and logical
I'm trying to think rationally
I want to tear it off the wall
I want to rebel against the status quo
I hear words and clips and phrases
I'm paying attention to the details
I think sick like ginger ale
I'm feeling nauseous from the tension
My stomach turns and i exhale
I'm anxious and scared
So cal is where my mind states
I'm physically in Southern California
But it's not my state of mind
But mentally, I'm not there
I'm not as ugly sad as you
Unlike you, I'm not negative or depressed
Or am i origami?
But I might be pretending to be someone I'm not
Folded up and just pretend
I'm hiding behind a facade
Demented as the motives in your head
But your intentions are twisted and sinister
I alone am the one you don't know you need
I'm the missing piece you didn't know you were missing
Take heed feed your ego
Pay attention to yourself and your needs
Make me blind when you eyes close
Let's live in the moment and ignore the consequences
Sink when you get close
I'll fall deeper in love with you as we get closer
Tie me to the bedpost
Take control and dominate me
You don't know you need me
But you do
Now i'm through with you!
But our time together has come to an end
Writer(s): April Mclean Copyright: April Mclean Music, WB Music Corp.
Contributed by Colin N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@anneliesagaunt-3207
April’s music has stayed with me since we were good friends in college. She was an amazing songwriter and performer! For 30 years I have kept her album ( cassette 😊).
@CUTENICE7
This song reminds me of my past that made me who I am now. Thank you Father God for Your GREAT LOVE, You gave me Your Son JESUS CHRIST!!!
@johnsmith-mn6qc
So I have a family friend that knows April. Anyway this family friend was like a father to me through out my childhood. He would take me to hockey practice at 6am in the morning on Wednesdays. He would play a tape of April for me in the truck as we drove down the rd. I believe it was a lot of her college yrs stuff. I have tried to follow her through out her carrier. She is one amazing singer. I have to say one of my Favorite songs from her is To Be a Rock. Don't know if she has that song recorded on YouTube but if she does Liston to that one. That was some of her early stuff. Like late 80s or early 90s. I was like 10 at the time. Anyway glad she is still at it and able to have her music out there to experience her amazing voice. It just may leave a memory for some young person hearing her voice and songs. I know she has for me
@mareenmi
There are times you know that the miracle that happened did not come from your efforts, abilities or knowledge, but divine help from above
@TironaBloodspiller
I wish you would take more credit and be proud of being a human. God didn't help you. You did it. You should be proud.