Throughout the song, Turner covers his past turmoils and inspirations before the fame, with a rich and meticulously crafted metaphor for how idolized celebrities are distorted by the media similar to the light of a star. The track also uses introspection to pay homage to icons such as The Strokes and Leonard Cohen.
"'In a way, it set the sound for the rest of the songs. It was like an open door that allowed us to immerse ourselves into this new sound.'"
- Alex Turner in an interview with Mondo Sonoro.
Alex also told Triple J:
"'It’s the first song I wrote for the record. It starts off as a song about songwriting. I think the reason for that is I didn’t have any ideas.'"
Star Treatment
Arctic Monkeys Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Now look at the mess you made me make
Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase
Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway
I'm a big name in deep space
Ask your mates but golden boy's in bad shape
I found out the hard way
That here ain't no place for dolls like you and meEverybody's on a barge
Floating down the endless stream of great TV
1984, 2019
Maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles
Karate bandana
Warp speed chic
Hair down to there
Impressive moustache
Love came in a bottle with a twist off cap
Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap
So who you gonna call?
The martini police
Baby, that isn't how they look tonight, oh no
It took the light forever to get to your eyes
I just wanted to be one of those ghosts
You thought that you could forget
And then I haunt you via the rear view mirror
On a long drive from the back seat
But it's alright 'cause you love me
And you recognize that it ain't how it should be
Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly
So pull over, I know the placeDon't you know an apparition is a cheap date?
What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?
Jukebox in the corner
Long hot summer
They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance
What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?
Oh, maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer
Elevator down to my make believe residency
From the honeymoon suite
Two shows a day, four nights a week
Easy money
So who you gonna call?
The martini police
So who you gonna call?
The martini police
Baby, that isn't how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment, yeah
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment
It's the star treatment
The star treatment
Arctic Monkeys are known for their poetic descriptions of modern life and iconic British rock music. The lyrics of their song Star Treatment showcase this skill, calling attention to the futility of fame and the strangeness of modern society. The singer begins with the aspiration to be like The Strokes, a famous rock band. However, the reality is much different than the idealized version in his mind. He's alone and lost, with only his fame to keep him company. He's a big name in deep space, but that only serves to highlight his isolation from the rest of society.
The second verse serves as a nostalgic reflection on the singer's past. He describes himself as being wild in the seventies, with a rock star persona that includes a karate bandana, impressive mustache, and love for alcohol. However, that time is long gone, and he's returned to earth with a dull life as a lounge singer. The chorus repeatedly asks "who you gonna call? The martini police." The martini police are an imaginary force that enforce decorum and proper behavior, a nod to the singer's desire to rebel against the establishment.
The final verse begins with the singer wanting to be one of those ghosts that are forgotten. However, he's haunted them instead, a reflection of his own unhappiness. He urges the listener to pull over to a place where they can drink cheaply and dance to music. The verse ends with the question "What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?" a statement that highlights the singer's love for pop culture and his disappointment in the listener's lack of appreciation.
Line by Line Meaning
I just wanted to be one of The Strokes
I once wanted to be one of the successful musicians of The Strokes.
Now look at the mess you made me make
You have ruined my life by leading me to where I am right now.
Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase
Traveling without a car, carrying my personalized suitcase.
Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway
Far from any barely functional road that exists only in one's imagination.
I'm a big name in deep space
I am famous in the vast, unknown regions of space.
Ask your mates but golden boy's in bad shape
Ask your friends, but I, who used to be your favorite, am now in a bad state.
I found out the hard way
I learned my lesson through painful experiences.
That here ain't no place for dolls like you and me
This place is not for weak and vulnerable people like us.
Everybody's on a barge
Everyone is floating on a boat, passively drifting with the flow of media.
Floating down the endless stream of great TV
Drifting with the current of popular television shows that never ends.
1984, 2019
The spirit of George Orwell's dystopian novel is still present in the current year.
Maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Perhaps I was too rebellious during the 1970s.
Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles
Grease from rocket ships slipping through the gaps in my knuckles.
Karate bandana
Wearing a bandana associated with martial arts like karate.
Warp speed chic
The cool and trendy look of a spaceship moving at warp speed.
Hair down to there
Long hair flowing down to a certain point.
Impressive moustache
An admirable and noticeable mustache on my face.
Love came in a bottle with a twist off cap
My love was cheap and easy to open, like a bottle with a twist-off cap.
Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap
Let's drink and complete a hot lap around the track.
So who you gonna call?
Who will you call for help?
The martini police
Those who enforce sobriety on people who drink excessively.
Baby, that isn't how they look tonight, oh no
They do not look like that today.
It took the light forever to get to your eyes
The light took an incredible amount of time to reach your eyes.
I just wanted to be one of those ghosts
I wanted to be like those ghosts whom you try to forget.
You thought that you could forget
You believed that you have the ability to forget.
And then I haunt you via the rearview mirror
I continue to haunt you through the rearview mirror while sitting at the back seat.
On a long drive from the back seat
During a long ride while seated at the back of the car.
But it's alright 'cause you love me
It doesn't matter, you still love me.
And you recognize that it ain't how it should be
You acknowledge that it's not right.
Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly
You are tired, and the weather is becoming unpleasant.
So pull over, I know the place
Stop the vehicle here; I know a good spot.
Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date?
An illusionary vision is an inexpensive partner for a date.
What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?
What are you currently drinking?
Jukebox in the corner
There is a jukebox standing in the corner.
Long hot summer
A dry and hot season characterized by an overall lack of rainfall and high temperatures.
They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance
A movie is being displayed on the wall, and the lighting is enough to dance.
What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?
You haven't seen the movie Blade Runner?
Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer
Returning to reality where things are less exciting, but still maintaining the polished quality of a lounge singer.
Elevator down to my make-believe residency
Taking an elevator to my imaginary place of residence.
From the honeymoon suite
From the luxurious suite provided for honeymoon couples.
Two shows a day, four nights a week
Performing twice a day, for four nights a week.
Easy money
Getting paid easily for the job.
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
When we look at the sky, isn't it already dark?
It's the star treatment, yeah
It's the special treatment reserved for stars.
The star treatment
The significant privileges that stars receive.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: Alex Turner
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@BrandonDMorrissey
[Verse 1]
I just wanted to be one of The Strokes
Now look at the mess you made me make
Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase
Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway
I'm a big name in deep space
Ask your mates but golden boy's in bad shape
I found out the hard way that here ain't no place for dolls like you and me
Everybody's on a barge floating down the endless stream of great TV
1984, 2019
[Pre-Chorus 1]
Maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles
Karate bandana
Warp speed chic
Hair down to there
Impressive moustache
Love came in a bottle with a twist off cap
Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap
[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The martini police?
Baby that isn't how they look tonight, oh no
It took the light forever to get to your eyes
[Verse 2]
I just wanted to be one of those ghosts you thought that
You could forget and then I haunt you via the rear view mirror on a long drive from the back seat
But it's alright cause you love me
And you recognise that it's ain't how it should be
Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly so pull over
I know the place
Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date?
What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?
Jukebox in the corner
Long hot summer
They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance
What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?
[Pre-Chorus 2]
Maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer
Elevator down to my make believe residency
From the honeymoon suite
Two shows a day, four nights a week
Easy money
[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The martini police?
So who you gonna call?
The martini police?
Baby that isn't how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes
[Outro]
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment
It's the star treatment
The star treatment
@iShiza18
Lyrics:
I just wanted to be one of The Strokes
Now look at the mess you made me make
Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase
Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway
I'm a big name in deep space
Ask your mates but golden boy's in bad shape
I found out the hard way that here ain't no place for dolls like you and me
Everybody's on a barge floating down the endless stream of great TV
1984, 2019
[Pre-Chorus 1]
Maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles
Karate bandana
Warp speed chic
Hair down to there
Impressive moustache
Love came in a bottle with a twist off cap
Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap
[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The martini police?
Baby that isn't how they look tonight, oh no
It took the light forever to get to your eyes
[Verse 2]
I just wanted to be one of those ghosts you thought that
You could forget and then I haunt you via the rear view mirror on a long drive from the back seat
But it's alright cause you love me
And you recognise that it's ain't how it should be
Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly so pull over
I know the place
Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date?
What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?
Jukebox in the corner
Long hot summer
They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance
What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?
[Pre-Chorus 2]
Maybe I was a little too wild in the 70s
Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer
Elevator down to my make believe residency
From the honeymoon suite
Two shows a day, four nights a week
Easy money
[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The martini police?
So who you gonna call?
The martini police?
Baby that isn't how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes
-courtesy genius
@humanbeing4841
This album will go down as one the most underappreciated albums in the band's discography and of the 2010s. I can't wait to see the retrospective ratings for this album in 10 years.
@FlamingZelda3
ya know people will look back at this and recognize it as a significant artistic achievement.
@danielplainview2584
Yep! (Also Third is a great album)
This seems to be the trend with polarizing albums - ones that really push things forward. The harmony on this album is relatively atypical and founded on weak (harmonically speaking) chord changes, so it's filled with a lot of low-key delights. You can almost hear the "Ding!" of the elevator as you arrive at the lounge floor on this track. Genius.
@singincindy
Absolutely
@varunninja5581
I'm from the future , it's true
@jaja-wg3si
Obviously they will do an even better one, they always do
@gabrielaroman930
This album is a fucking masterpiece. It makes me feel forgotten, floating deep in outer space. The lyrics are unlike anything I've ever seen before, all the experimentation throughout the music, it's just hard to explain how this makes me feel. It's beutiful in a new way.
@esdeath9318
I'm not into collecting vinyl disc but this album, I would buy it
@lambda1863
you took the words straight out my mouth
@ellistrelfa
no need for the swear