Jessica's Suicide
Armchair Martian Lyrics


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Jessica suicide takes me for a ride
i'm just a crazy one-armed man
strange world, dead girl
die each day or so you say it
how much death can one man stand
how much death can one man stand

i might broadcast your dull eyes
breathless like you i'm despised
and understand i just can't
help but stand up to the old lies
this time she'll do it
too late my bus is leaving
cause i don't care what you have planned
cause i don't care what you have planned

jessica suicide, never even tried
but i gave in to her demands
death threats, regrets
go ahead i heard all you've said
cause bitter always becomes bland
cause bitter always becomes bland
so scared to characterize
i've always loved your cold eyes
and now i fully realize
i just can't take this deadly surprise
this time she'll do it
too late my bus is leaving
i don't care what you have planned
i don't care what you have planned




running on...
i don't care what you have planned for me...

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Armchair Martian's song "Jessica's Suicide" is a powerful and emotional depiction of a person struggling to come to terms with the death of someone they care about. The song begins with the singer being taken on a ride by Jessica's suicide, which highlights the intense and overwhelming nature of his emotions. He describes himself as a crazy one-armed man, which could be interpreted as a metaphor for his feeling of powerlessness and helplessness in the face of her death.


The lyrics take on a reflective tone, as the singer ponders on the concept of death and how much one person can stand. He feels the weight of Jessica's death on him and feels compelled to broadcast her story to the world. He realizes that he can't stand to just sit back and let old lies and misconceptions about mental health go unchallenged. The lyrics also touch upon the theme of regret, as the singer caved into Jessica's demands before her death and now wishes he had done more to prevent the inevitable.


The chorus of the song repeats the line "This time she'll do it, too late my bus is leaving, cause I don't care what you have planned" which emphasizes the sense of finality and tragedy of the situation. The singer acknowledges that he can't change what has already happened, and must move on from the pain. Ultimately, the song is a poignant tribute to the memory of Jessica and a call to action for those left behind to advocate for those suffering from mental health issues.


Line by Line Meaning

Jessica suicide takes me for a ride
I feel enticed by the idea of suicide and it's taking over me


i'm just a crazy one-armed man
I feel like a crazy, disabled person who can't find a way out


strange world, dead girl
The world and its rules seem strange and incomprehensible, and death feels like the only option


die each day or so you say it
It feels like I'm dying every day, and people keep telling me that it's just in my head


how much death can one man stand
I wonder how much more pain and death one person could possibly withstand


i might broadcast your dull eyes
I am so captivated by your sadness that I might tell others about it


breathless like you i'm despised
I feel worthless and unloved, just like you seem to feel


and understand i just can't
I know that I should try to do something about my despair, but I just can't seem to take action


help but stand up to the old lies
I feel like I need to confront the lies society tells about mental health and suicide


this time she'll do it
I fear that this time, you will actually go through with your suicidal thoughts


too late my bus is leaving
I feel like my time is running out and I need to make a decision


cause i don't care what you have planned
I am so focused on my own pain and struggles that I don't care about what you want or need


jessica suicide, never even tried
You've never actually attempted suicide, but I know you think about it a lot


but i gave in to her demands
I am so consumed by the idea of suicide that I feel like I'm going along with its demands


death threats, regrets
I feel trapped between the fear of dying and the regret of never taking action


go ahead i heard all you've said
I know that you've warned me about suicide and its dangers, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it


cause bitter always becomes bland
I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of bitterness and despair, and it's become commonplace for me


so scared to characterize
I'm afraid to label my feelings and put them into words


i've always loved your cold eyes
Even though your eyes seem sad and distant, I've always been drawn to them


and now i fully realize
I understand now that our struggles with mental health are intertwined


this time she'll do it
I fear that this time, you will actually go through with your suicidal thoughts


too late my bus is leaving
I feel like my time is running out and I need to make a decision


i don't care what you have planned
I am so focused on my own pain and struggles that I don't care about what you want or need


running on...
My mind is constantly racing with thoughts of suicide and despair


i don't care what you have planned for me...
I am so consumed by my own pain that I can't bring myself to care about anything else




Contributed by Sadie T. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

Ezzi Goat

I have loved this song since I was a kid, and I never stop loving it.

Jordan Schroth

Lucky enough to have seen this song performed live back in 1999!

Jordan Schroth

@1thess523 I was friends with Abe from Wretch Like Me, still have a few pics one of their shows together with Lagwagon in denver @ the filmore.

1thess523

My old band Millhouse opened for them back in the day and Chad Price of ALL was on bass.

Arnaldi Paredes

I`ve been looking for this version for years!! Awesomeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Distaval

I've only seen Jon Snodgrass play this solo. Amazing song either way.

mercenaryinponcho

me too, this is rad

James Miles

this time shell do it. Too late, my bus is leaving

Ken Barbisan

Drag the river

1thess523

@leemars182 , I don't know? we got it at the show my old band played with them in the late 90's

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