House On Fire
Assemblage Lyrics

Sifting through the ashes
Trying to find something meaningful in the ruins

With unsteady hands
Feeling nervous and anxious while going through the ashes

Searching for the remnants
Looking for any remaining evidence of what once was

Of a broken man
Trying to uncover what went wrong with the person who used to inhabit this life

A history of hollow lives
A past filled with emptiness and unfulfillment

And low ideals
With standards and morals that are not very high

A backlog of wrongdoing
A long history of doing bad things

We can never conceal
These things cannot be hidden or erased

I stand up
Making a decision to do something different

And walk away from the dross
Leaving behind the negative and worthless things

Towards the doorway
Moving towards a new direction

Of our mutual and harrowing loss
Of the painful experience that we both share

The only way I know
This is the only method I have found

To shake myself of this curse
To break free from the bad luck that has been following me

Is to bring myself to something
To make myself face something that is difficult or uncertain

That is measurably worse
That is clearly and definitely worse than what I am dealing with now

I sought refuge in a house on fire
I looked for safety in something that was bound to hurt me

I took shelter in a wall of flame
I tried to protect myself from danger by putting myself in more danger

I built a prison in my own subconscious
I trapped myself in my own negative thoughts and feelings

There's nothing else left
Everything I had or could have had is gone

Emerging from the wreckage
Coming out of the disaster

Of a life that once was
Of the life that I used to have

Confounded by the damage
Confused and overwhelmed by the harm that has been caused

My own psyche does
The damage has mostly been caused by my own thoughts and feelings

I bear the scars
I have physical and emotional evidence of the harm that has been done

Of an insufferable will
Of a stubborn and difficult-to-deal-with mindset

And the tyrannical reign
And the negative influence that this mindset has had over my life

It threatens to instill
It has the potential to cause even more harm

Some seek control
Some people try to take charge of their lives

By grabbing hold of their lives
By taking decisive action

In a futile attempt
In an unsuccessful effort

To help themselves survive
To try to make things better for themselves

I dig myself
I make things worse for myself

Into a much deeper hole
I put myself into an even worse situation

Running from a fate
Trying to avoid something bad that could happen

That I can never control
That is beyond my ability to influence or manage

I woke up
I became aware

In a column of ash
In the middle of destruction and waste

While the world came down
While everything fell apart

In a horrible crash
In a terrible disaster

I was naive
I was too innocent or inexperienced

For ever wanting this much
For wanting something so badly that it blinded me to reality

Using self-deception
Lying to myself in order to believe something that isn't true

As my only crutch
Relying on this lie to support my mental and emotional well-being

Footsteps diverge
Paths start to separate

From the path they once walked
From the direction they used to take in their lives

Words are eclipsed
Words are becoming less important

By the language they talked
By the wider context of what they're expressing

Actions betrayed
Actions reveal something that was hidden

By promises broken
By commitments that were not kept

Flames consume intentions
Bad or destructive actions overshadow and overpower good intentions

Best left unspoken
Things that are better off not discussed or shared

Nothing else left to blame
There is no one and nothing else I can point the finger at for what has happened